Would you stay with your partner if they decided to transition?

[RedRobyn2021]

I'm watching an episode of Queer Eye where this transwoman's partner said they stayed with them after they decided they wanted to transition and it got me thinking

If your partner decided they wanted to transition would you stay with them?

I think I would.

I am GC but I find a degree of gender play attractive and I’ve had relationships with both men and women. I just find variety very refreshing and it would be a real trip to see DH transition.

But maybe I’m just saying it from the safety of knowing he’d never even consider it.

I think I would find the attraction/sex aspects less problematic than the social issues. I would struggle to explain it to the children and also resent the additional social burden of making others feel at ease with the situation.

No. He wouldn’t be him anymore; it’s him I fell in love with.

No

I have a couple of acquaintances who have stayed.

Personally I don't know if I could. I love and adore my dp. He is an amazing person and his personality is part of what made me fall in love with him. The fact that in my eyes he is drop dead gorgeous is as added bonus (he has an amazing arse and eyes you could drown in). If his personality remained the same I would like to think that I would at least try.

That said I don't find women sexyally attractive. I am heterosexual. And this is why I cannot emphatically say yes I would stay.

No. I find the thought of having a sexual relationship with a feminised man repulsive.

No

@Flappyface

Asking this question on mumsnet is a bit like asking a full church in the deepest of deep south US if they would be okay if their son ended up homosexual, OP.

Nope, not even slightly. Hth.

@DrSbaitso

I love my husband and can't imagine living without him, or if that was the case, her.

Hell no

@UltraVividLament

It really is. The views on here about anything trans or even drag is disgusting.

No way

No

Yes. I know aspects of it would be hard because of stresses along the way, the extra bumps in the road. But I'm happily pansexual and have dated men, women, cross dressers, a post op transwoman. It just isn't a big deal for me because it's not throwing anything back in my face. Not everyone can feel the way I do, I'm just not attracted to the outside or the genitals firstly. Those are just aspects of the person. For me. It's ok if others couldn't stay. It's understandable.

[quote Flappyface]@UltraVividLament

It really is. The views on here about anything trans or even drag is disgusting.[/quote]
So anyone who wouldn't stay married against their wishes to a transitioned person is disgusting?

No, it would go against my beliefs. I don’t believe in gender ideology, I could never believe TWAW, and could never pretend I was now living as a lesbian with my “wife”

[quote Flappyface]@UltraVividLament

It really is. The views on here about anything trans or even drag is disgusting.[/quote]
Not what I've seen here but there you go. Unless you think that having a different point of view to you is disgusting.

I just checked DH wouldn't stay with me if I transitioned either.

But if you both transitioned at the same time?

I don't know until I enter that situation. There are just too many things to consider.

I love him, I love who he is, I also love his body and I enjoy sex with him.

I am bi, so may be able to accept that on a physical level, BUT fundamentally, he wouldn't be the person I love and adore, because he hasn't been his true self, which in turn means our entire history comes into question, it would make me question everything about us.

I'm not sure I could come back from that.

Absolutely not

Why would you want to be with someone that had concealed something that important from you for years?

It's like if my DH told me he was a gay and hidden it from me. I would be heartbroken and the deceit would change things between us forever.

I would like back on our sexual and romantic relationship and feel that I had been lied to.

No

Have a look at transwidowsvoices.org. This is what it’s like from the viewpoint of these men’s partners.

Nope! I wouldn’t cast him out of my life, I’m still in love with h8m, I’m straight and defo only into men so I wouldn’t be interested in being with a woman. I’d like to hope we would stay friends.

@Flapjak

I wondee how many men would stay with there wife of 20 years plus who had her breasts and vulva surgicalky altered, grew a beard and deepened their voice to emulate a male. Probably next to zero whereas aome women seem to wear staying with a transitioning male as a badge of how kind and accepting they are

I have to admit I can't think of any cases where this has happened.

I wouldn't stay for many of the reasons listed above - and I would also do my best to separate finances before money was spent on any sort of surgery/treatment.

Definitely not