Would you stay with your partner if they decided to transition?

[RedRobyn2021]

I'm watching an episode of Queer Eye where this transwoman's partner said they stayed with them after they decided they wanted to transition and it got me thinking

If your partner decided they wanted to transition would you stay with them?

100% no.

No.

Nope.

Yes, if he was still attracted to me in the same way but felt wrong in his male identity then I would. He is the love of my life.

@Flappyface

Asking this question on mumsnet is a bit like asking a full church in the deepest of deep south US if they would be okay if their son ended up homosexual, OP.

What a shit false equivalence.

No.

@UltraVividLament

Being bisexual doesn't mean that you would automatically find your (male) partner attractive if they began presenting in an ultra feminine way and then had some or all of the possible gender assignment surgery. I'm bisexual and I severely doubt I would find my partner attractive still if he transitioned. And the ideological issues would be deeply problematic for me too. I might stay in the same house for co parenting reasons as friends but that would be all.

Agree strongly. Big difference for me between finding some women attractive and still fancying my big hairy husband if he transitioned.

It's a no from me on the original question.

This is what it’s like from the viewpoint of these men’s partners.

Indeed. So important for these women to have a voice.

No. Aside from the fact that DH would possibly make the world's least attractive woman (v. tall, obviously an ex rugby player gone to seed), I'm straight. Him transitioning wouldn't change that. I'd still be straight, I wouldn't magically change my identity just because he changed his. I'd try to be friends though, unless he massively messed me about.

[quote Flappyface]@UltraVividLament

It really is. The views on here about anything trans or even drag is disgusting.[/quote]
How so?

No

Yes absolutely.

He is much more than his genitalia.

I'm pretty certain i wouldn't, no.

But some women would - maybe the men who come out as wanting to transition into "women" are ones who have wives who they think will be supportive - maybe they've had an inkling over the years or are extremely open minded.

My dh may as well come home and tell me he's transitioning into a pot plant - it would be so out of character. I'd think he'd fallen and had a knock on the head.

No

@youvegottenminuteslynn

Being bisexual doesn't mean that you would automatically find your (male) partner attractive if they began presenting in an ultra feminine way and then had some or all of the possible gender assignment surgery. I'm bisexual and I severely doubt I would find my partner attractive still if he transitioned.

I'm also bisexual and feel the same. I have found it hard to articulate why and think this is partly because it's met with aggressive and nasty (ironically) #bekind reactions.

People don't seem to accept that I have no more obligation to find anyone sexually attractive just because I'm bisexual.

I think it's a reflection of the 'ooh you're greedy' / 'make our mind up' biphobia that still seems very prevalent.

Same here. I’m mainly lesbian but have been attracted to and slept with men on occasion. But that doesn’t mean I believe sex is just a performance of clothes and stereotypes. I’d not be able to continue with the relationship because I’d be fundamentally at odds with gender ideology beliefs, plus I’m attracted to sex not gender! I love women precisely because they’re women and not parodies of men; ditto for men - if I was attracted to one I wouldn’t want a parody of a woman!

No

BTDT. Never again.

@DuckDuckNo

BTDT. Never again.

May I ask what made you decide to try to continue initially?

No.

It wouldn't be fair on them or myself. I wouldn't see them as the person I fell in love with. It would be hard leaving them but sometimes you just got to do the right thing.

Yes and no. I’d still be his friend, and possibly even remain living with him, maybe even still married, but only as platonic friends with seperate rooms, he’s a big blokey bloke and would make a really unattractive female, and would be rhe subject of bullying and gossip, so I’d not cast him out.

We have been together thirty two years since I was twenty, so I’d likely try to help him if I’m honest, but it would need to be platonic and I’d be able to see other people. I do love him and I’d play a protective role. It would never happen though so easy to say.

I have been thinking about this.....My husband is dead now but if they had transitioned early in the marriage, we might well have split up on a friendly basis so that we could both pursue relationships that contained sex. As we got older, other things became much more important that the sex and yes i think we might have stayed together had we both wanted to.

No

@DrSbaitso

Did I say that?

You'll have to go elsewhere for an argument tonight. I know your ways and I just cannot be arsed with you 😂

Yes absolutely.

He is much more than his genitalia.

This makes no sense to me. Surely if someone believes they can change sex it is about what's going on in their head, nothing to do with their genitalia. Not many men who want to become women actually go ahead with chopping their penis off.

@Flappyface

Asking this question on mumsnet is a bit like asking a full church in the deepest of deep south US if they would be okay if their son ended up homosexual, OP.

Not at all. There are plenty of homosexual and bisexual women on MN, in fact.