Elderly parents hating that we're so middle-aged

[UserBot999]

I know I shouldn't be playing over this comment but a while ago my mother and my aunt were talking about how they couldn't believe their children were middle-aged. One of them, can't even remember which said ''and don't they look it!''. I resent that. I'm very healthy and I walk a lot and I love clothes and fashion and make up. In moderation, as appropriate you know. My brother who is nearly 50 (I'm 51) is also very healthy, works out, not at all fat. Doesn't smoke or drink excessively. All our own teeth, not bald or grey haired....

My parents are in their late 70s and seem to love how they've aged and are quite self-congratulatory about how they're still active, still stylish, still in possession of their teeth, still driving, still walking, still talking, still enjoying life.

But one day my mother showed up at my house. I wasn't expecting her. I was in my dressing gown. I was told later that I looked like death warmed up.

I just have this feeling that my age really revolts her even though I'm ok with it myself.

I share a hobby with my mother, I am not allowed to discuss ages of my children with other attendees when chatting as they may work out how old she is! Mum is 80 this year, my kids are 28 & 24!

There's definitely some cognitive dissonance going on. As I said, my DM is fairly representative of her generation in her assumption in her youth that she would never be 'old' in the way that her Mother was. To be fair, she did stay younger in outlook and physical looks for much longer. And even though she's 80 she still travels the world and is very socially active. But when she looks at me it probably challenges her self image as a middle-aged person because I am clearly late middle-age. If I put a bit of energy into pretending that I'm younger it would make it easier for her to keep pretending too. But I'm not afraid of ageing in the way that she is, I don't care what age I look only that I'm happy and healthy.