Dating question - Would anyone else find this a bit odd?

[Poppins88]

I have form for overthinking so I just want to get a bit of a sense check. I've been speaking to someone on Bumble and we've made plans to meet. However, during one of our conversations we had the following exchange and I'm a bit perplexed by it:

Him: oh by the way I should tell you, my name isn't actually Chris, it's Ricardo or you can call me Ray.
Me: that's odd, why are you called Chris then?
Him: when I joined Bumble it gave me the name Chris, I don't know why and I can't change it.
Me: Those are very different names, not sure what to make of that!
Him: just call me Ray lol

Am I being over the top to consider that a red flag? My spidey sense is tingling but I'm not sure why?! It just seems very unlikely to me that Bumble gave him a completely different name and even if it did, why wouldn't he change it? And why wait so long to tell me?! We'd been speaking for several days by this point?! Also, the shortened version of Ricardo is not Ray?!

I have previously when on dating sites , used a false name and then usually told them my correct name once we met up .
It was a privacy/ safety thing for me .

I would do the same with names.

Yes it’s a red flag to be aware of but I’d still meet them.
I have an unusual first name and never used it for OLD for the reason that if you google ‘my first name, town I live in’ I come up, plus I could be found on
Social media easy enough.

It could be they’re either active
Online or something like the police where again they don’t want their name being traced.

Agree that he’s not being truthful about why he used a fake name on the site. Best case scenario he’s done it for privacy.

I don’t think it’s totally unusual to use a different name online for privacy / security reasons. It’s unusual that he’s blaming it on the App.

I’d probably go ahead with meeting up but I’d definitely be extra vigilant about him - I guess it’s possible he’s married on in a relationship etc.

It’s definitely weird that he hasn’t told you till the last minute either! Could be innocent but is definitely a little odd

Hmm I use to use a different name online (more of a nickname though than a totally new name) so I’m not sure if it would put me off

A lot of women do it online in my experience.
Possibly a red flag but Possibly a good reason.

I'm a bit surprised at the number of people who have used a different name for OLD as that's never occurred to me to do but on thinking about it I can understand why a woman might want to protect her privacy/security in that way. I can't imagine a man having the same concerns from a safety perspective? And even if that were the case, surely he would just say that rather than blatantly lying that it was the apps fault?

The story about Bumble ‘giving him the name’ is nonsense. Dating sites don’t just renamed people.

It’s understandable that someone might use a pseudonym for privacy reasons, but why not just say that?! It’s the lie that would put me off.

It's very common, especially if you have a more unusual name. I've been harassed on LinkedIn before now by someone j turned down (politely) on a dating app.

Yes, agree, the lie is the red flag.

I think it’s very different a man using a fake name to a woman using a fake name. Red flag for me.

Because I don’t want some weirdo looking me up if I decided I wasn’t interested, maybe he has had a bad experience? I don’t use old apps so not sure how the site would give him a name though?

@DoodleBelle yes, this is my thinking

If you have any concerns whatsoever I would report to Bumble. I would not want to meet this person and if he cannot be honest at this initial stage then I would be wondering how trustworthy he actually is.

@RedCandyApple

Because I don’t want some weirdo looking me up if I decided I wasn’t interested, maybe he has had a bad experience? I don’t use old apps so not sure how the site would give him a name though?

Yes I've said in my follow up post that I can understand why a woman might use a different name.

I reckon he has done it to protect his privacy until he is certain he likes someone and wants to take things further . You said u can understand woman doing that - men also get a hard time on OLD apps. At least he has told u before u meet etc . If there was anything more untoward then i reckon he wouldn't have told u at all. I hope it all goes well.

@AttilaTheMeerkat

If you have any concerns whatsoever I would report to Bumble. I would not want to meet this person and if he cannot be honest at this initial stage then I would be wondering how trustworthy he actually is.

Hmmm. Honesty is very important to me, it's probably the number one thing I look for in a person. I'd toyed with asking him outright why he's lied when he's not expecting it as I've noticed in the past whenever I've taken the direct approach men tend to come clean, especially if they don't think I've cottoned on to whatever inconsistency/outright lie they've told me but I hoped not to have to catch anyone out this early on!

I agree that his reason is rubbish. That's more of a red flag to me than using a different name...though I don't like that either. I called someone out on this once and he said to me "it's just a username, what's the problem". My response was "Kneel would be a username not Neil".

@Poppy101010

I reckon he has done it to protect his privacy until he is certain he likes someone and wants to take things further . You said u can understand woman doing that - men also get a hard time on OLD apps. At least he has told u before u meet etc . If there was anything more untoward then i reckon he wouldn't have told u at all. I hope it all goes well.

That's a good point and interesting perspective as well, lots of mixed responses on this!

@Captnip500

The story about Bumble ‘giving him the name’ is nonsense. Dating sites don’t just renamed people.

It’s understandable that someone might use a pseudonym for privacy reasons, but why not just say that?! It’s the lie that would put me off.

They do if you use Facebook to sign up and you have a fake name on Facebook, or an alter account with a fake name

I always use a false name online, I don’t think its particularly wise to publish your name and imagine together, it also wouldn’t take an online dater very long to get sufficient info out of you to be problematic.

What is it you're worried about? What do you think the red flag is indicating? What has he to gain from using one name for OLD, but telling you before meeting his real name?

I had a guy years back make a whole fake account of me with my pictures because I rejected him calling me all the names under the sun, luckily he didn’t have my real name! There’s a good reason sometimes

@NuffSaidSam

What is it you're worried about? What do you think the red flag is indicating? What has he to gain from using one name for OLD, but telling you before meeting his real name?

For me it's more about the fact that small lies could be indicative of bigger lies.