DP Arrested - Trigger warning DV

[WeyAyeMan]

My dp well ex dp has been arrested and now charged with 5 counts of assault and 1 count of false imprisonment against me on Christmas Day, now remanded in custody till court on Tuesday. I'm a wreck and have severe trauma bonding to him. I'm missing him so much.

I'm around 7 weeks pregnant, home alone with our 8 month old baby and shaking in shock. Has anybody been through similar? The fear of unknown is making it worse.

Wow! You are doing so so well. I just read through all your threads and your resilience is amazing. Just keep swimming (as Dory in Finding Nemo would say). Are you going for a walk once a day and treating yourself to a hot chocolate? Getting out in the fresh air and moving your body will make such a difference to your mood. 😘

Morning @Bunce1 and OP - hope you both managed a good sleep last night and it's sunny in your neck(s) of the woods today

Thank you everyone. I really appreciate you all checking on me. I've been bleeding again. Hospital wouldn't let me self refer for a scan so was at the doctors today and scan tomorrow

Sorry I've been missing it's just all too much, I'm just too exhausted

that's sad news.
Hoping you can get a little rest.

I have everything crossed that the bleeding will pass and all will be ok.

You are bound to feel exhausted, so much going on, mental exhaustion causes physical exhaustion.
Please take time to rest when you can, watch mindless tv if it helps you switch off.
You’re doing well, you will feel stronger when all this activity is behind you. It does get better.

Thank you @mathanxiety @Suzanne999 @dane8 I appreciate it. And @Moretodo thank you for the pdf.

I'm ten weeks x

Oh love. That’s horrible, let’s hope for some good news tomorrow.

I hope you don’t mind but I have lit my special candle for you and put my crystals around it. I’m not a witch! But these little rituals help me focus my intentions. Which I am sending to you.

💕💙💕

@Bunce1
That made me cry, in a good way. Thank you so so much ❤️
I am really interested in learning more about crystals etc. very very thoughtful of you xx

Fingers crossed everything is ok @WeyAyeMan.
hope you are feeling stronger too.
As PP have said, you actually ARE coping - because you are still doing the necessary for your DD, and because you haven't given up. It's not comfortable yet, but no one said that coping meant the same as "being fine" - it doesn't.

You'll get there

The baby is ok. Thank god, everything seems to be progressing well.

Women in need support worker just contacted me to get started on the non mol, she's calling the police to see if there's any updates then going to call me back.

Very very exhausted but so relieved x

That's brilliant news OP, some progress and support for you at last! You're doing so well even just to be up and about at the moment

@youvegottenminuteslynn @dane8

Thank you
I'm hanging on in there, only ten days to go and then maybe I'll know a little more.

What's everyone's plans for the weekend?

So relieved for you!! Such great news about the non mol too- do you feel a bit better about that too?

It’s been so so cold here today. Dd was off ill and I did some painting and decorating in amongst being dds nursemaid.

Stay warm everyone.

@Bunce1 yea feeling a little bit better thank you, getting ready for an early night I think. I'm shattered.

It is freezing, heating all the way up and wrapped in a blanket.

Hi @WeyAyeMan I've just come back to the thread and caught up. You're doing amazingly. I'm in Durham too and have some friends who work in DV/DA field - have you heard of DAHA (Domestic Abuse Housing Alliance) - its role is to shape/improve the housing sector's response to domestic abuse - it may be of help to you in liaising with your HA
www.dahalliance.org.uk

Best wishes and onwards!

@WeyAyeMan

The baby is ok. Thank god, everything seems to be progressing well.

Women in need support worker just contacted me to get started on the non mol, she's calling the police to see if there's any updates then going to call me back.

Very very exhausted but so relieved x

Sending you lots of love

You are amazing

Strong and resilient

Never forget that xxxxxxx

Great news re non-mol order. And lovely news that the baby is ok.

You asked about weekend plans. Here are mine: Going to the tip first thing, doing three loads of washing, dragging DS to have a hair cut, the dog is ill so giving her antibios and painkillers twice a day, doing a shop, going to the bank in the next town to deposit a small cheque, hoovering, hoovering more.

Note to self: I probably won't hoover. Or get to the bank.

Fun fun fun!

I'd cheerfully come round yours if you lived closer!

One day soon OP, your life will be as mundane and peaceful as this. No fear, no threats.

Money worries? yes quite possibly, but once you have got the violence and the soul-shrinker out of your life, you blossom - your children blossom. You take pride in the little steps at first and then, when you are fully weaned off them, you take pride in the big stuff. I started cleaning. Encountered amazing people with more shattered lives than mine.

It must feel overwhelming to be carrying his baby. But you have your head screwed on. You will make it.

Big hug.

@13yearslater your reply really made me smile, that's pretty much how my to do list goes and then I put it off and off. I'm going to clean a little bit tomorrow if I leave it Much longer I'll start to feel overwhelmed

Thank you for the love @Queenie6655

I'm reading that now @myrtleWilson thank you so much

I feel positive tonight xxx

Hi OP, you are doing so so well, and I'm delighted the baby is healthy.

You asked about weekends... I am going into London to meet with a few friends I met online through an interest group. I'm a bit nervous about that and my social energy tends to run out after about 90 mins so we'll see how that goes! Sunday will just be chilling out with my daughter.

I hope you continue to have a good day.... we are here for you!

Hi OP!

Had a lay in.
Going to meet a girlfriend and buy some pet items from her (she has a shop). Then we are having a late lunch in wagamama.
Tomorrow, lunch with another friend.

My DC are much older so I get to do (nearly) what I want.

Probably do a bit of MN'ing, got some work to catch up on by Monday AM. Boss wants a draft report.

It's all rock n roll here 😁
I have peace, good people around me, my own money, a job I love, great relationships with my children.
Things DV relationships don't let you have.
I'm low contact with my family, not healthy for me and my dc.
Don't have any crap in our lives whatsoever.

I have been to the gym and now I have cleaned the house. Finished painting a cabinet. Feeling very productive. Children are out a various clubs so have a moment of peace.

I need to do the big shop and then I’ve got my friend and her 2 girls coming round for dinner. She’s on her own so it will be nice to see her as babysitters are thin on the ground!

How’s your head today? Are you still feeling positive?

Remember you did all this. You have peace and safety because you took action. You are so brave.

How are you doing today OP? DS and I went to watch Hey Duggee in the cinema this morning 😂 He then had an out of character 3 hour nap and I binge watched Queer Eye xxx