DP Arrested - Trigger warning DV

[WeyAyeMan]

My dp well ex dp has been arrested and now charged with 5 counts of assault and 1 count of false imprisonment against me on Christmas Day, now remanded in custody till court on Tuesday. I'm a wreck and have severe trauma bonding to him. I'm missing him so much.

I'm around 7 weeks pregnant, home alone with our 8 month old baby and shaking in shock. Has anybody been through similar? The fear of unknown is making it worse.

Try listening to a white noise app on your phone at bedtime. It gives your brain something to focus on so can keep the bad dreams away. 💟

How are you doing today @WeyAyeMan ? I haven't checked in for a few days but so pleased to see he didn't get bail and that you have a bit more time to get things moving. Keep strong and just take one day at a time! You are doing so well and hope you are feeling a bit better today.

You are doing brilliantly OP! There really is a brighter, freer place waiting for you and your children. You can do it!

Thank you all for the kindness checking in on me.

Unfortunately I am still feeling the same, overwhelmed with sadness and anxiety. It's relentless at the moment. I've managed to get myself out today a little bit but the effort to do that was draining and I just feel constantly on the brink of tears. I just want to feel better desperately but until I know what is going to happen it's just endless pain

Just RTFT wow what a stressful journey you are on OP - but you are on the right track, leaving him to rot in the distance, hopefully
Have you got perinatal mental health service in your area ?
It’s for pregnant women and up to child’s 1 yr when the mum has mental health needs
Given the massive trauma you have suffered I would have thought you would benefit from being under perinatal mental health team for extra support now and going forward

Thank you @Schmoozer maybe I'll have to contact the health visitor or something. Only seen her once but maybe she might be able to refer me? It's strange the doctor or nobody else has even mentioned it

www.tewv.nhs.uk/services/perinatal-mental-health-durham-darlington/

I think u said u were Durham ?

Thank you @Schmoozer

We're still not good @dane8 thankfully my daughters ok but I'm just ill. My lovely friend has been here all day which has really helped

Thanks for checking in

It made all the difference. Honestly I can't describe the love I have for her, she's what I would call family. She's stayed with me all day, made sure I ate, played with the baby, and has only just left after helping me bath her. I'm blessed to have someone like that who cares about me x

@WeyAyeMan

Thank you all for the kindness checking in on me.

Unfortunately I am still feeling the same, overwhelmed with sadness and anxiety. It's relentless at the moment. I've managed to get myself out today a little bit but the effort to do that was draining and I just feel constantly on the brink of tears. I just want to feel better desperately but until I know what is going to happen it's just endless pain

I remember this feeling so well

Please reach out for help

It is so debilitating
Poor you

Sending lots of good wishes your way xxxxxx

Good morning @WyeAyeMan.

Just wanted to tell you that you are amazingly strong...even when you think you aren't.

Be kind to yourself.

And dig deep to kick ass and take names when you need to.

I am sure that this has been said but it may help to keep a diary or notebook with everything that is happening and is said to you and all phone calls you make etc. Always get names. It is a good way to keep them accountable and also to easily give you any ammo of helping yourself and being proactive if you need it.

Any contact or attempts to contact from anyone should be noted too.

Also Shelter may be able to help with the possession order.

Sadly you have to make yourself heard rather loudly to get any help at all. Bug them in a calm but firm way. You can do it.

Everyone on this thread are all thinking of you and cheering you on!

Thank you @Chickmad
No @dane8 I've not heard from anyone today. I have the number for Peri natal mental health but it would be atleast an hour long phone call and I just didn't have the energy to do it today. I'm feeling so so shit it's unreal. Im still rub down with this cold, and just everything else on top. I feel like I'm drowning and don't know how I'll ever get better. Haven't heard from any family at all

I'm so sorry your family have been rubbish OP. I'm checking in as an honorary auntie to see how you're doing and ask how we can help - are you looking for any podcasts / shows / films / anything else people can recommend to help while you're feeling poorly on top of everything else?

Thank you so much @youvegottenminuteslynn
It upset me because I was thinking to myself god, everything he said about my family he was right... but never mind. I can't really concentrate on anything too much at the moment but I'd quite like to get back into podcasts. I like true crime so I'll see how I manage with that.

I can't wait until I am able to look back at this and this feeling will just be a distant memory. Really really appreciate the compassion on here x

I love true crime podcasts too but wonder whether the ones about attacks / murder might be quite triggering at the moment for you.

In case you want some true crime ones that are addictive, minus most of the triggering bits, you could try some con artist ones.

Queen of the Con: The Irish Heiress
The Missing Cryptoqueen
Sweet Bobby

All brilliant!

And for funny, gentle ones, The Off Menu Podcast is great (especially the Joe Thomas episode) as is The St Elwicks Neighbourhood Association Podcast (I know it sounds so weird but it's gold!)

@youvegottenminuteslynn oohhh thank you so much. Have you heard of the uncanny podcast, I saw it mentioned on a different thread on here, I might try that too.

Just watching geordie hospital and getting the podcasts ready, still not sleeping too well but that is also to do with the 3am sneezing fits.

Sneezing ten times in a row is never fun after you've had kids!😂

Hey @WeyAyeMan sorry not be in touch over the weekend, sounds like you had a real boost with your mate hanging out. That’s so nice.

I can hear in your posts that you’re feeling a bit better.

How’s your baby getting on.

Ooh I've never heard of Uncanny so just looked it up and it sounds great - thank you!

Feeling sorry for myself too today (but nothing compared to you so I feel bad saying so!) so I'm all comfy under the duvet getting my podcasts ready too, with ASMR playlists as a back up if it's a bad night's sleep!

Oh and I think you've done more than 400 hours now. You should be really proud of yourself mate.

Aw thank you @Bunce1 yes it really made a massive difference to have her with me. We've been friends almost 20 years now, she's been by my side through it all. Love her to pieces. How are you doing, are you recovering from your op and able to get out more?

She's fine now thank you, passed all her germs to me. I got a video of her saying mammy today, and we had a little dance listening to YouTube. She's cheered me up tonight after what was an awful day. I've decided we're going to get out to the shops for a little bit tomorrow.

@youvegottenminuteslynn no way! It seems like 2 minutes ago that you were telling me it was 200 hours! And in that moment it felt like it had been a lifetime!

I'm just drying to know what's going to come of the next hearing

@youvegottenminuteslynn hope you feel better soon x

You’re so sweet to ask me about my op! Yes all fine. Still quite tired, but it’s also the time of year isn’t it?

I did walk the dog bit over the weekend, it’s been cold and bright here so that’s been lovely. I did think of you as I made my Dd a massive hot chocolate with all the extras, make sure you get one tomorrow and have a good day with with baby.

Remember- Vicks on the soles of your feet and then socks- really helps you breath easier.