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Original poster

When to tell guys you've got kids?

65 replies

SmartCar · 30/12/2021 19:17

So as title says basically when to tell them? Mum says straight away. Friends say after a while (whatever that means)

OP posts:
Original poster
SmartCar · 30/12/2021 19:18

In dating 🤣 sorry forgot to put in op

OP posts:
eztiger · 30/12/2021 19:18

I would usually mention it when the conversation steers that way. If that’s a problem, I would rather know sooner than later

weemouse · 30/12/2021 19:19

Straight away, why wouldn't you.

I would find it strange to find out weeks later, and think much less of the person who hadn't told me

Yummypumpkin · 30/12/2021 19:20

Its the most significant thing in your life. I'd expect anyone with kids to tell me almost immediately.

Josette77 · 30/12/2021 19:20

One of the first things I mention. Why wouldn't you?

bonfireheart · 30/12/2021 19:20

I would want to know straightaway n would tell them of my DD on first date or before.

TerraNovaTwo · 30/12/2021 19:21

Straight away

AuntieStella · 30/12/2021 19:21

Straight away - well not literally the first thing out of your mouth, but it's important info

PilatesPeach · 30/12/2021 19:21

Straight away - the other person has a right to decide if they want to date someone with kids.

GentlemanJayFab · 30/12/2021 19:21

Straight away.

Tulips21 · 30/12/2021 19:21

Straight away!

sassbott · 30/12/2021 19:21

Immediately. There is absolutely no way it’s acceptable to not tell someone so significant from the off.

Clymene · 30/12/2021 19:21

As soon as you meet them face to face and you think it might go to a second date. Not on your dating profile to weed out creeps

MsJaneAusten · 30/12/2021 19:22

Straight away.

Pinkbonbon · 30/12/2021 19:24

Straight away.

I wouldn't put it on a dating profile or anything incase they are a weirdo though.

But if someone didn't tell me for several dates that they had kids, I'd think they were untrustworthy.

You don't need to go into great detail for a while. Maybe even until you are a couple. But you need to tell them you have kids on date 1.

HacerSonarSusPasos · 30/12/2021 19:25

Straight away, if you don't want to waste your time.

Animood · 30/12/2021 19:26

Put it on your dating profile

Filters out people who don't want that who will waste your precious time.

furbabymama87 · 30/12/2021 19:27

Straight away.

KatherineJaneway · 30/12/2021 19:28

Straight away, it would be a huge omission if you do not say anything immediately.

janbaby22 · 30/12/2021 19:33

I always thought you should be a bit wary about telling strangers you’ve got kids in case they’re dodgy. In which case I would have said second or third date.

Heepers · 30/12/2021 19:37

Immediately. It would be so weird if you didnt and tbh suggests you're not prioritising your children.

lazylockdowner · 30/12/2021 19:38

Pretty much straight away once we start exchanging messages, most definitely before I first date, I've had plenty of men ghost at the mention f children and I'm glad they did as it saved me wasting my time with them.

Best to be upfront straight away

LifesNotEnidBlyton · 30/12/2021 19:40

Right up there with "Whats your name?", "What do you do?", "Do you have children?" TBH. You can ask them first so it brings the conversation up, because it's something you need to know right away. Your children are the most important thing in your life, so you want to know if it's a problem for the person, so if it's brought up right away you can know if they stay interested and keep getting to know you. Then for the person you're talking to it's only fair that they know what they're getting into, and if they want the responsibility of if things get serious, and if they're OK with going slowly, or, if you don't want to introduce anyone into your children's lives ever, if they're ok with just dating someone with no look to marriage, living together, and their own children.... neither of you should be wasting time ir keeping such a big thing from eachother, even "for a while".

MissSmiley · 30/12/2021 19:42

@SmartCar are you worried if will put them off?

Original poster
SmartCar · 30/12/2021 19:46

It's due to any creeps. I'm a bit weary.

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