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Original poster

When to tell guys you've got kids?

65 replies

SmartCar · 30/12/2021 19:17

So as title says basically when to tell them? Mum says straight away. Friends say after a while (whatever that means)

OP posts:
KurtWildesChristmasNamechange · 30/12/2021 19:50

Straight away. Don't waste people's time. Why would you wait until they maybe become invested only to then find out you have children and perhaps that's not what they're looking for?

romdowa · 30/12/2021 19:50

Maybe be up front with the fact that you've kids but not about weather you've boys/ girls and their ages, school, routine etc. I also wouldn't be introducing anyone to your kids for a good while. So that should also weed out any creeps

Pinkbonbon · 30/12/2021 19:51

Yeah just don't go into fine details early on.

Animood · 30/12/2021 19:54

@SmartCar

It's due to any creeps. I'm a bit weary.
I don't understand? Why would not telling someone you have kids for a bit ward off the creeps?
1forAll74 · 30/12/2021 19:54

I would wan't to know straight away, as I would not wan't to date anyone with children.

rhowton · 30/12/2021 19:54

I would write it in my bio if online dating. If I met them in a bar, I would mention it during conversation. If a man didn't want to date me because I have children, I would like to know immediately.

Original poster
SmartCar · 30/12/2021 19:56

Not planning on any introductions 🤣 unless it's something special

OP posts:
Snoopfroggyfrogg · 30/12/2021 20:14

Straight away, either in your dating bio (no pics or details), or early stages of conversation if in person. Some people specifically don't wish to date those who have children for whatever reason and it's wasting both of your time by only mentioning it when out on a date.

Cas112 · 30/12/2021 20:14

Straight away, it's weird you wouldn't

Livpool · 30/12/2021 20:36

I dated a man who once told me after we have gone out for about 2 months. Unsurprisingly he turned out to be a weirdo 😂

RedCandyApple · 30/12/2021 21:08

Straight away. why would you not unless you think it would put them off? Surely you shouldn’t want to date them then, fine if you don’t want to put it on your profile but definitely before you meet

janbaby22 · 30/12/2021 21:09

I don't understand? Why would not telling someone you have kids for a bit ward off the creeps?

Paedophiles could specifically target women with children, if you tell them straight away that you have kids then they could pursue the relationship specifically to get close to them.

RedCandyApple · 30/12/2021 21:10

Plenty of people don’t want to date someone with kids I do think it’s deceptive, if you’re worried about weirdos you said you wouldn’t be introducing anyone to them anyway so?

SleepingStandingUp · 30/12/2021 21:13

If you're online dating I understand not putting it on so they you aren't targeted by guys looking for women with kids. But I would tell before we met first time. It's a deal breaker for some and that's oj

SleepingStandingUp · 30/12/2021 21:13

Ok

dumplings1 · 30/12/2021 21:53

I would mention in profile you have kids, it's a deal breaker for some, they don't need to know much detail about them even when dating I don't talk about them much, only their ages and when I'm kid free basically, no need to say much until you know someone long enough to start trusting them.

Ebony69 · 30/12/2021 21:56

@janbaby22

I don't understand? Why would not telling someone you have kids for a bit ward off the creeps?

Paedophiles could specifically target women with children, if you tell them straight away that you have kids then they could pursue the relationship specifically to get close to them.

But surely you would be entirely protective of your children regardless. Not rushing into introducing them to each other, not leaving the children unsupervised with him, being watchful of how they interact with each other .
jb7445 · 30/12/2021 21:59

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

VaguelyInteresting · 30/12/2021 22:02

Absolutely wouldn’t put it in a dating profile or tell someone online, unless they were a parent too.

Would tell them on first date after had the measure of them.

I talk about kids at work etc so anyone I met through work/friends would know anyway.

DillonPanthersTexas · 30/12/2021 22:05

It's pretty deceptive.

It's like the whole lying about your age thing, some daft women think that once a bloke is smitten with them they will instantly forgive a fairly major lie/omission

Gildedbrooks · 30/12/2021 22:12

On or after the first in person date, if you intend to see them again.

DillonPanthersTexas · 30/12/2021 22:20

On or after the first in person date,

No, you tell them before the first date and then let them decide if they want to continue. It's an absolute shitbag thing to not mention something as important as kids before meeting someone. Why waste someones time?

Aubree17 · 30/12/2021 22:23

Straight away.

Weed out the creeps another way.

Clymene · 30/12/2021 22:24

@DillonPanthersTexas

On or after the first in person date,

No, you tell them before the first date and then let them decide if they want to continue. It's an absolute shitbag thing to not mention something as important as kids before meeting someone. Why waste someones time?

Nope. You don't let a man woo you be Xmas you have children to be abused.

Parenting dating 101.

Clymene · 30/12/2021 22:25

Because. Not be Xmas.

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