Dating thread 222: into 2022 and beyond

[BelladiMamma]

The rules as a screenshot (feel free to copy and paste them in).

[quote SortingItOut]**@InABetterPlaceNow* I've spent 2 months adjusting to the fact he's always doing stuff with people and I'll need to give him space, and in a moment found out "oh hell no, you're coming with me!". Some of it's over discord so I'm joking in as of January*

This sounds nice but just be careful you're not making your whole life about him.
Remember a man should enhance your life and not be your life.

Have you got hobbies of your own?
Its good for couples to have seperate interests/hobbies, it keeps you independent from each other plus gives you more to talk about when you get together/have video calls.[/quote]
Oh, absolutely! I'm was talking about his 4/5 nights where he seemed to have his own hobbies, plus he's taking up 2 new ones next year, plus his DD. Was looking like I'd be lucky to get a night every two weeks! So it's more that it's reassuring that I'll have an open invite to join in / view any of these as / when I can ☺️

I have my own separate weekly group thing starting in Jan once a week, more than enough going on with the kids, see friends / family - eventually he'll have the same kind of open invite. I'm a more introverted type so more enjoy staying in with a good book etc so I wouldn't be joining in with all his activities, but also nice to know I wouldn't be intruding if I did, if that makes sense?

@Catcrazy83 ooooh the ick!! Not sure there is a 'comeback'!! I had this with my neighbour i tried to date (not the current one who i hope is officially friendzooooned) we went out for dinner and as soon as i opened the door i wanted him to leave. Was so weird! The whole evening was such a mess i was a real evil bitch to him, i guess it was an attempt to turn him off me so he'd get the same feeling and run a mile from me! Well run into his building given we live next door to each other! Happy to say he is now all loved up with someone who truly deserves him!

Well my 🧲 has resurfaced i've got some italian messages to 'googletranslate' poor old man 😂! Guess the booster knocked him sideways for a bit. Who posted about the 'hot' sex vs 'romantic' sex? This has intrigued me... is it possible to have both? Sometimes its super hot with MM and other times it feels much more romantic, well as romantic as you can get in an articulated Mercedes Actros! 🚛 Can't believe its the end of 2021... hope everyone's having a nice day and got some good plans for tonight! 🌟✌🏻

@Naimee87

Checking in! 🤩 thanks *@BelladiMamma for the new thread and the word 'snafu' which made me laugh out loud! What exactly does it mean? I'm sure @FabulousMrFifty would know, sounds like a word he'd throw out there from his 'era' 😂 so lovely @ReturnBunk* you're back! Sounds like you been tackling work projects, so time to shut the laptop/switch off the monitor and step away from work for a little bit! (said in the least bossiest voice) 🤩🤞🏻

@Naimee87 my ‘era’, cheeky whippersnapper..

sanfu = “Situation Normal: All Fucked up” American military slang

My personal favourite is the British Army 7 P’s
“Proper Planning and Preparation Prevents Piss Poor Performance”

[quote SortingItOut]**@InABetterPlaceNow* Turns out he's a split between secure and anxious equally. I'd been trying to figure it out as he doesn't quite seem secure but also doesn't seem FA*

What you have said here is exactly what fearful/disorganised is - its a mix of all attachment styles so sometimes he will act more secure and sometimes more avoidant.

I think fearful avoidant muddies the waters with being avoidant so I refer to it as disorganised because it feels more clear cut at being a seperate attachment style.[/quote]
No, that's the thing - he scored really low on both avoidant and fearful avoidant. It rings true with his actions as I know what it's like to "deactivate" (and am recognising when I do it, and taking a step back from self sabotaging when it happens). He's been consistently two feet in which is useful.

While going through the questions it was quite clear that in "normal life" he's secure. It's when certain things are triggered that he's likely to become anxious (in an attachment theory way). It's useful to know I think. Thankfully our communication seems really good and we're both aware of what's going on for ourselves so while it's early days, we've just talked through stuff and it hasn't turned into any push / pull scenarios.

Accidentally said the L word last night 🙈

@Catcrazy83 Its me that recognises changes in my cycle affects my mood. Ovulation time (10 - 14 days before your period starts) lowers your hormones so you feel moody and low, this is when I go into 'dump Mr K' mode, luckily I recognise that I'm being irrational so don't act on it.

I have always been clear with Mr K that I can't do too long together in one go, since my marriage ended I like my own time and space. Over Xmas we did Boxing Day afternoon to 28th afternoon and that was just perfect and enough time to enjoy each others company but not enough for me to wish he left.

I think spending too long together isn't what relationships are about nowadays. Keeping it short and sweet sounds good.

Can you pinpoint exactly what made you feellike you did?
It might be the ick or it might be something else that happened which caused you to feel like that

I wish I could pinpoint it, but I was ovulating, so maybe hormone related…. I was just there awake, while he was sleeping thinking I wish you’d just fuck off, that lasted till he finally took the hint the next afternoon

@FabulousMrFifty I’m impressed you managed quiz questions while partaking in that performance 😂

@Naimee87 I do think you can have both types of sex with some people, slightly jealous of the sessions in an artic, and I don’t remember who, but the bird watching hut 😂

@Naimee87

Checking in! 🤩 thanks *@BelladiMamma for the new thread and the word 'snafu' which made me laugh out loud! What exactly does it mean? I'm sure @FabulousMrFifty would know, sounds like a word he'd throw out there from his 'era' 😂 so lovely @ReturnBunk* you're back! Sounds like you been tackling work projects, so time to shut the laptop/switch off the monitor and step away from work for a little bit! (said in the least bossiest voice) 🤩🤞🏻

snafu -> situation normal all fucked up

😁😁😁

@ibelieveinmirrorballs to be fair I'm probably being over cautious but as the gynae has had a good look at my ovaries and eggs and said that everything is still there and primed for conception I need to be careful. She also said that the likelihood was that no pregnancy would last given my age (51).

Always good to get advice!

@Catcrazy83

I do a bit of quizzing over zoom , maybe I should combine the 2 on a more regular basis?

😂😂 @FabulousMrFifty maybe

[quote BelladiMamma]@ibelieveinmirrorballs to be fair I'm probably being over cautious but as the gynae has had a good look at my ovaries and eggs and said that everything is still there and primed for conception I need to be careful. She also said that the likelihood was that no pregnancy would last given my age (51).

Always good to get advice! [/quote]
I don't think you're being over-cautious at all - probably far more that I'm being a bit too laissez-faire, given we are the same age. I'm aware I've been making some assumptions and I definitely should check with An Expert.

@InABetterPlaceNow how do you feel about the L word?

@ibelieveinmirrorballs thank you so much not feeling crazy up for tonight but my family is pissing me off yet again which gives me fuel to go the hell out.
No sign of MrTurk on my jaunt up the road! 😕

[quote Catcrazy83]****@Catcrazy83** Its me that recognises changes in my cycle affects my mood. Ovulation time (10 - 14 days before your period starts) lowers your hormones so you feel moody and low, this is when I go into 'dump Mr K' mode, luckily I recognise that I'm being irrational so don't act on it.

I have always been clear with Mr K that I can't do too long together in one go, since my marriage ended I like my own time and space. Over Xmas we did Boxing Day afternoon to 28th afternoon and that was just perfect and enough time to enjoy each others company but not enough for me to wish he left.

I think spending too long together isn't what relationships are about nowadays. Keeping it short and sweet sounds good.

Can you pinpoint exactly what made you feellike you did?
It might be the ick or it might be something else that happened which caused you to feel like that

I wish I could pinpoint it, but I was ovulating, so maybe hormone related…. I was just there awake, while he was sleeping thinking I wish you’d just fuck off, that lasted till he finally took the hint the next afternoon

@FabulousMrFifty I’m impressed you managed quiz questions while partaking in that performance 😂

@Naimee87 I do think you can have both types of sex with some people, slightly jealous of the sessions in an artic, and I don’t remember who, but the bird watching hut 😂[/quote]
Oh yeah um - that was me in the bird watching hut. 🐧🦅🦆🦢Thankfully there were no fellow intrepid ornithologists in the area that afternoon

[quote Shayelle2009]@ibelieveinmirrorballs thank you so much not feeling crazy up for tonight but my family is pissing me off yet again which gives me fuel to go the hell out.
No sign of MrTurk on my jaunt up the road! 😕[/quote]
Tis the season for us to be royally pissed off by our families… I think the world’s up for a party tonight - could be a good one!

[quote Stayingstrongish]@BelladiMamma would you bring up not liking something that’s said during sex at the time? Or perhaps when relaxing afterwards?

@teesguy knowing the difference between your and you’re makes you a catch from my point of view![/quote]
I fell madly for a man because he used apostrophes accurately in texts😀

@Isitreallyme1277 glad you're feeling better ❤️😘

Sending lots of New Years love and kisses to everyone in advance 😀🥰💖😘😙💋

Did I read that someone was getting busy in a bird watching but..

There are soo many puns..

Hello everyone 👋👋👋
I was on this thread in the summer and then took a break , which I’m still on
I nearly had a date with my overseas obsession but then I caught covid

As I enter the year 10000% single I like to lurk as I might venture back
Maybe

I’ve been thinking a lot about neurodiversity and I’m curious if anyone else has this ?

My sons asd , and having read articles about autistic women I’ve realised I might be too
And the dating tics and behaviours for autistic women are like mine

• obsessive and most (all!) in my little imagination
• tend to be caregiver and attracted to men with issues
• NT men find me weird
• ND men don’t, but sometimes they have their own issues and red flags 🚩

I don’t think I want to date until I’ve got my head around this

I was diagnosed ASD summer last year and ADD this year.

But that list of dating behaviours doesn't apply to me - where is it from?

Bird in a bird in a bird?? 🤣🤣 isn’t that some sort of meal?!? 🤔😬

Ok, I've been lurking but I'm now going to join this thread. Was married 25 yrs, and have now been separated for a few years, divorce still proceeding. So haven't dated for almost 30 years! The apps are so out of my comfort zone, but I'm starting to think of what to write in my profile. If anyone has any advice on this I'd be grateful.

@Shayelle2009

Bird in a bird in a bird?? 🤣🤣 isn’t that some sort of meal?!? 🤔😬

Don't know why that raised a chuckle 🙊😁

@Shayelle2009

Bird in a bird in a bird?? 🤣🤣 isn’t that some sort of meal?!? 🤔😬

3 bird roast, yum

@apinions

Ok, I've been lurking but I'm now going to join this thread. Was married 25 yrs, and have now been separated for a few years, divorce still proceeding. So haven't dated for almost 30 years! The apps are so out of my comfort zone, but I'm starting to think of what to write in my profile. If anyone has any advice on this I'd be grateful.

I've gone for short sharp and to the point most recently. With good but not dishonest photos - smiley, or approachable plus a hotter one if you want.

I'd say anything that's up to date, to the point and honest is a good start.

Posters are happy to have a look if you want to ask if you can DM peeps?