Dating thread 222: into 2022 and beyond

[BelladiMamma]

The rules as a screenshot (feel free to copy and paste them in).

Don't everybody change their nicknames! I won't be able to keep track.

[quote Badbaddog]@Lovemusic33 I think Tinder is generally seen as the one with the most traffic, maybe refresh your profile for the new year and give it more of a go?[/quote]
Thank you, I will update my profile as my photos are pretty old and I have had my hair chopped of since last updating. I don’t seem to be having much luck in POF….or not any messages from anyone interesting, just the normal “hi sexy” messages 😬.

@Lovemusic33

I have a possible date with Mr Gardener but feeling a bit weird about it…pretty sure he lives with him mum, he’s quite eccentric, isn’t online much (says he doesn’t have regular access to the internet) 🤔 and occasionally he talks in poetry.

I need to find more irons but I’ve been in the apps for so long, it feels like I’m swiping through the same old faces, rarely see any new faces and when I do they are not my type.

Are there any new apps worth trying? I’m currently on POF and occasionally dip into tinder. I tried bumble a while ago but rarely found anyone near me.

Try OKCupid - I went there when I reached the stage you’re at… found it much more fruitful in terms of chat, meets etc and met current iron there. You can drill down a lot into preferences and get a very good sense of someone before chatting/matching.

@BelladiMamma definitely check with Mr Dublin as to where you both stand with things before giving up any other potential irons. You need to know whether you are on the same page.

@Shayelle2009 get well soon Missy, it's been a tough start for you but onwards!

I'm all good, freezing though. I managed to slip on my decking whilst trying to shoo away some slugs. Good thing I have padding on my bum

Am staying with Mr Music from tomorrow for a few days and we both can't wait.

ButterflyOfShay - sorry you're feeling so poorly, though really glad the shortness of breath has gone. I had Covid last month and my sense of smell hasn't totally come back (which is an advantage when it comes to the cat's litter tray!)

I posted a few days ago about getting back in the dating game (after a 4 year absence!) but haven't actually done anything about it other than daydream about my current crushes. (I'm in my 50s, not a teenager, so feel a bit silly about this).

Today I finally got around to installing Tinder for the first time. Could anyone help me with a couple of questions, please? Firstly, is there a way I can have a look at Tinder without uploading a photo to start with? Also, after putting in that I was a woman looking for a man, it asked me what university I went to - seems bizarre and I couldn't seem to skip over it. Does this happen to everyone? I don't want to give any personal details like school/uni and didn't expect to get asked this.

Thanks for any help and sorry if these are stupid questions!

I have just updated my tinder profile, did a bit of swiping, hot about ten matches 😬

I will take a look at oKcupid.

@Goldfish50 I'm pretty sure you can skip those questions

@dancemom thanks - just had another look and, sure enough, saw 'Skip' at the top of the screen! So I've got past that, but have now got to 'Add photos' and there doesn't seem to be a way to skip over that.

It might be my dodgy memory but I thought someone was saying a couple of days ago they were on Tinder without photos? But I can't see a way to do that. I'm feeling quite unsure about it and just want to have a look first before I jump in properly.

@Eesha

Don't everybody change their nicknames! I won't be able to keep track.

I’m thinking of changing my nickname to MrDoYouKnowWhataManIs

Some of this things I’ve read on this site today (not this thread) are just fucking bonkers, makes me wonder if some posters have ever actually meet a real living breathing human man.

@Goldfish50 just upload a scenery shot or a pic of your cat

@FabulousMrFifty I think the harpies will be onto you with that name. I completely agree, I often think if the genders were reversed, would people be making the same comments ie LTB if he has ED.

I think I'm in the process of knocking the whole Mr Favourite Place thing on the head. There's a crazy ex on the scene. And it all seems a bit heavy going. I've left him a chirpy voice note about finding surprise wine gums in my office drawer, which has made my day, and how I'm going to focus on all the good stuff, etc, just to see if he realises this is no fun for me and tries to up his game. If he doesn't, I'm not going to bother, but instead focus on relaunching on the apps when I'm back from my housesit. I think I'll try OK Cupid this time.

Also, his name is too long. I'll give my next iron a short name.

@WeWantTheFinestWines

I think I'm in the process of knocking the whole Mr Favourite Place thing on the head. There's a crazy ex on the scene. And it all seems a bit heavy going. I've left him a chirpy voice note about finding surprise wine gums in my office drawer, which has made my day, and how I'm going to focus on all the good stuff, etc, just to see if he realises this is no fun for me and tries to up his game. If he doesn't, I'm not going to bother, but instead focus on relaunching on the apps when I'm back from my housesit. I think I'll try OK Cupid this time.

Also, his name is too long. I'll give my next iron a short name.

Ugh. Positive energy only! Too much trouble sometimes isn't it xx

[quote Eesha]@BelladiMamma definitely check with Mr Dublin as to where you both stand with things before giving up any other potential irons. You need to know whether you are on the same page.

@Shayelle2009 get well soon Missy, it's been a tough start for you but onwards!

I'm all good, freezing though. I managed to slip on my decking whilst trying to shoo away some slugs. Good thing I have padding on my bum

Am staying with Mr Music from tomorrow for a few days and we both can't wait.[/quote]
Good call. I need to check in with him today on a couple of things anyway

Sooo excited to hear about your time away with MrMusic. Hope it goes well

@Badbaddog thanks, didn't think of that! I thought I'd struggle when I was on the apps, but didn't realise I'd have a hard time even working out how to get on them!

WeWantTheFinestWines I guess we're all looking for someone who's going to enhance our life and hopefully make it more fun. Of course there will be times when someone's going through a tough time and it's not all laughing and fun. But in the early days, it should be fun and uplifting, whereas it sounds like it's slightly dragging you down already. Years ago I decided against meeting an iron because every message he sent there was something wrong - he had a cold, his leg hurt, he'd had a bad day at work - I kind of felt sorry for him, but I was starting to dread his depressing messages. Anyway, I hope you get an upbeat response from Mr Favourite Place.

I'm also curious as to whether you'd just forgotten about the wine gums or if someone else put them there as a nice surprise?

@WeWantTheFinestWines - have you met him again recently and had the chance to see if a better snog was in the offing? It's SO frustrating when you start to get twitchy about the existence of a 'crazy ex' although I would add that as someone with their very own 'crazy ex' I've dreaded having to share any details historically with irons for this very reason... I'm wise enough to know that by telling someone anything about what my ex is like, there's a good chance it'll reflect badly on me. I'm so glad that I'm now far enough down the line that even if my ex is crazy (and he still is), it's not really directed specifically towards me and doesn't affect my life very much at all. Above all else though, I totally hear you in the sense that your life is in a space to be lighthearted about things in general, and if someone else just isn't - whether that's because of 'shit going on' or just their general outlook, it's very dull and inappropriate to be 'leaking' those feelings out to someone you've just met.

@Eesha - exciting about your impending few days with Mr Music! Have a brilliant time

@ButterflyOfShay loving the new name

All okay here, although I really do NOT feel like I'm firing on all cylinders work-wise. Have had lots of contact with MrMixtape and have let him know my child-free weekends coming up so hopefully that's all a step in the right direction. Anxiety levels minimal.

@BelladiMamma sit down and have a chat with Mr Poet. Explain how things currently are. Make sure you ask how he would like to progress.

If I was him I'd rather have this conversation

@FabulousMrFifty I kind of remember what a man is… I’m sure I did meet one once…. many many years ago.. in a place called… a bar?!? I think it was. Where everyone used to … um.. socialise??

@WeWantTheFinestWines kind of sensing MrFavPlace is heading into the departure lounge for you.. maybe not a huge loss, if there’s a crazy ex scenario emerging!

Have a lovely time @Eesha! Bet you’re mega excited for it!! Xx

Goldfish I'd left the wine gums in my drawer! And forgotten all about them. I'm thinking about leaving little treats everywhere now and forgetting all about them so I can be surprised all over again! Which is what I told Mr Favourite Place in my upbeat message, which he hasn't replied to.

Ibelieve we haven't met again, my fault as now with the DC and then off housesitting for almost two weeks. I have suggested a walk Saturday afternoon and was going suggest video calling but then his ex shouted at him in the street so I had to ask him about their relationship. I believe that he hasn't instigated the craziness and she does sound unhinged, but he seems unable to switch from going on and on about that to something else.

And then when I finally got him off that subject and on to the excitement of moving to his new house next week he started moaning about the place he's renting so that's when I suggested he must be tired and reminded him of his early start.

I'm all for supporting each other and I have shit to share also, but we've met twice! There's no foundation of fun and adventure and shared experiences - just straight into his misery. So I'm done. Shame as he's local and I did see potential there and I haven't had sex for a very long time. But my heart sinks when I see a message from him. Says it all really.

Mr Music and Mr Mixtape - I love the theme today!

@ButterflyOfShay
I remember there used to be these odd people called wo-men, a bit like regular men but with all funny bumps and curves, but that was years ago, someone told me those have all gone now…

@ButterflyOfShay I certainly cant wait!!!

@WeWantTheFinestWines if your heart sinks that’s the opposite of what you want isn’t it!

I’ve been having a bit of a gloomy week and am conscious of trying to keep it to myself as I don’t want to put too much heavy stuff on Mr Beard. I’ve briefly mentioned it to him and am trying to self-cheer myself up with nice food, books, music, walks and coffee meanwhile. My upcoming 40th birthday and worries about what this year is going to bring in terms of moving house and managing finances on my own are getting me down a bit.

I think perhaps it’s unrealistic to expect to find a relationship that lasts the rest of my life, just hope whatever happens me and Mr Beard can stay on good terms, don’t think I could handle another heart breaking break up with angry insults being thrown at me.