Dating thread 222: into 2022 and beyond

[BelladiMamma]

The rules as a screenshot (feel free to copy and paste them in).

Heeeey @Naimee87 💖 I just know MM is magnet mental for you, he’s not going anywhere - he’s definitely very attached to you!! 😀 long distance must be so difficult 😞

Haha @WeWantTheFinestWines I’m in the same boat as you. Bloody impossible even finding 1!! Let alone any more!!

On a brighter note, day 3 of dry Jan is going swimmingly! Not even got any cravings! Im delighted 😁

@Shayelle2009

Haha *@WeWantTheFinestWines* I’m in the same boat as you. Bloody impossible even finding 1!! Let alone any more!!

On a brighter note, day 3 of dry Jan is going swimmingly! Not even got any cravings! Im delighted 😁

Me too! Yay, we can do this @Shayelle2009!

Well done dry Jan's!
Really interesting point about the anxiety stemming from lots of different things but being pinned on Mr M @ibelieveinmirrorballs and also excellent to notice that relying on him to fix the anxiety creates that parent/wounded child dyad.
I've done a lot of thinking/talking/researching on the wounded inner child and associated attachment traumas after splitting with my exh and it's truly fascinating if you're a bit odd like me
Also interesting reading around the concept of "safe/unsafe certainty/uncertainty" in dating situations, could appeal to those that find they tend to go for people that aren't right for them.
Hope the emotions have calmed @BelladiMamma and you're having a relaxing time with Mr Dublin.

Happy belated NewYear folks.

I'm starting the new year with positive vibes. I still feel like rubbish and this cold has gone through my whole family now. Only plus side is I've lost half a stone in a week, everything tastes the same so it's not worth wasting decent chocolate.

I'm seeing Mr Cricket this week, we'll either talk about what happened(which is why we're meeting) or pretend like it never happened and carry on as normal. Who knows but right now he is sticking to his word and not disappearing.

I read this saying today "Be not afraid of going slowly, be afraid of only standing still". I'm going to live by that this year.

@WeWantTheFinestWines @Shayelle2009 @Badbaddog
Can you shuffle up a bit, so a fat bloke can get in the boat with you all ?

Isitreallyme12777
Hey I remember Mr cricket from the summer when I was on here
I got the impression you are less happy , what happened ?

As for Belladi
Wow you have been one busy lady
Last time I was here you were not texting beard flake
Now you have a potential who wants to be a life partner
You are a dating powerhouse 😁

@Shayelle2009

Haha *@WeWantTheFinestWines* I’m in the same boat as you. Bloody impossible even finding 1!! Let alone any more!!

On a brighter note, day 3 of dry Jan is going swimmingly! Not even got any cravings! Im delighted 😁

Fantastic news @Shayelle2009 and @Badbaddog! You’ve made it through the hardest bit which is breaking that initial habit… onwards!

@Heartbeats0708

Well done dry Jan's! Really interesting point about the anxiety stemming from lots of different things but being pinned on Mr M *@ibelieveinmirrorballs* and also excellent to notice that relying on him to fix the anxiety creates that parent/wounded child dyad. I've done a lot of thinking/talking/researching on the wounded inner child and associated attachment traumas after splitting with my exh and it's truly fascinating if you're a bit odd like me Also interesting reading around the concept of "safe/unsafe certainty/uncertainty" in dating situations, could appeal to those that find they tend to go for people that aren't right for them. Hope the emotions have calmed *@BelladiMamma* and you're having a relaxing time with Mr Dublin.

Well if you’re odd then I’m equally odd 🤪

It is all fascinating and I’m just hoping that by delving into it (again - have had therapy a few times over the years but never really whilst navigating the choppy dating seas with what has the appearance of an early stage healthy connection and post divorce and post giving up booze) I can actually feel as though I can heal and make progress.

I have no doubt that the main reason I’m finding this all so triggering with MrM is that he’s NOT future faking, love bombing, going too fast too soon or any other behaviour that I’ve previously fallen for, only to be tripped up further down the line.

Human relationships completely fascinate me @ibelieveinmirrorballs including picking apart my own to the nth degree. I understand what you're saying re finding it triggering to be in a (so far) normal, happy, healthy place with someone.
I posted a while back about potentially self sabotaging with Mr D because I found it incomprehensible that we could really just be two fairly normal people, with good boundaries, navigating the early stages of a relationship like adults 🙈

@Thisisworsethananticpated

Isitreallyme12777 Hey I remember Mr cricket from the summer when I was on here I got the impression you are less happy , what happened ?

Hey @Thisisworsethananticpated to give a brief summary, we slept together, it should never have happened as he now has a girlfriend(we aren't proud of what we did and there is a little more to it than us just deciding to have sex). We've spent the past 3 weeks trying to deal with our own heads, so this will be the first time we've seen each other since it happened and the first time we've discussed it. We both agreed on the night we didn't want to lose the friendship and he said he didn't want to hurt me (my comment to him was don't disappear then and he promised he wouldn't), we did talk on the night but I think it wasn't until afterwards that it started to sink in what we did.

Well mrWa is no more. Back on the singles bench.
Strange feeling of relief and guilt at the same time. Contemplating having a few months off men altogether.

Strange thing about the messaging convo, I don’t get anxious around not receiving frequent tx, but I do feel disconnected. Out of sight out of mind type of thing. Find it difficult to progress to a deep relationship if there’s days of no contact, sort of permanently casual.

astounded you’re still givin g mr cricket the time of day @Isitreallyme12777 a cheat and a liar, what a catch, as a friend or boyfriend

@BelladiMamma sounds like an interesting/frustrating situ, hope you and mr Dublin find a Middle ground.

Isitreallyme12777
Hmm that’s a shame
I was hoping you might be his girlfriend eventually
Look after yourself

I don’t usually post these things
And , since when is Anthony Hopkins a life coach .
However this post did resonate directly those of us pining for people who might not necessarily deserve our pining
It helped me anyway x
m.facebook.com/1774311608/posts/10210085045160695/?d=n

Sorry that was so badly typed , sleep calls

Happy new year all. What are folks doing for early doors dates these Omicron days? I’ve a third date tomorrow with a Ms Marathon and I’m a bit befuddled as to what to suggest. Dining out might be a bit risky covid wise…..

ENM sounds complicated but perhaps embracing uncertainty is the way forward for OLD. Wouldn’t suit me though sadly.

@Thisisworsethananticpated

Isitreallyme12777 Hmm that’s a shame I was hoping you might be his girlfriend eventually Look after yourself

Thank you @Thisisworsethananticpated it obviously isn't meant to be like that for us and he didn't realise what was in front of him. I like that quote you posted too.

@RayoftheTriffids

Happy new year all. What are folks doing for early doors dates these Omicron days? I’ve a third date tomorrow with a Ms Marathon and I’m a bit befuddled as to what to suggest. Dining out might be a bit risky covid wise…..

ENM sounds complicated but perhaps embracing uncertainty is the way forward for OLD. Wouldn’t suit me though sadly.

What does "early doors dates" mean?

Do you mean "early in the dating calendar" (i.e. first date), or early timewise, e g. 4pm?

Either way, for me, it would simply be meet at Costa for a cuppa.

I'm not sure it's that dangerous to just go for a cup of tea. But if it is, have a walk then buy a take away drink and sit in a park to drink it and chat.

Those Facebook "quotes" get attributed to all sorts of people. I doubt very much he said it, it's been going round for years. Funnily enough, I think Judi Dench "said" the same thing almost word for word!

@BelladiMamma of course.

I'd love to ask you some really tough questions and how you answer, you then think about.

You are right though, you have to talk and use language you both understand, make sure you mean the same thing as he's hearing. Don't do this during pillow talk.

Ms Jam and I do our most important discussions out walking.

[quote cravingthelook]@BelladiMamma of course.

I'd love to ask you some really tough questions and how you answer, you then think about.

You are right though, you have to talk and use language you both understand, make sure you mean the same thing as he's hearing. Don't do this during pillow talk.

Ms Jam and I do our most important discussions out walking. [/quote]
This is what FetLife users refer to as a "clothes on talk".

I'm useless at them!

@ibelieveinmirrorballs I think 36hrs would bother me too but it sounds like Mr Music is perfectly attentive otherwise and is committed to things with you. I would say I'm guilty of mentally switching off someone if that anxiety kicks in with me in those situations. You could always say at some point that you enjoy regular communication of some kind eg. daily stuff. When are you planning on seeing each other again?

@BelladiMamma hope you are having loads of fun!

@MizK dump Mr Teacher, the bozo who critiqued your place!! That still annoys me!

Arghhh back to work this work, I miss Christmas!