Page 18 | Dating thread 222: into 2022 and beyond

BelladiMamma · 2021-12-30T15:33:30+00:00

The rules as a screenshot (feel free to copy and paste them in).

FabulousMrFifty · 02/01/2022 19:32

@dancemom

Was right to be suspicious of the Tinder unmatch guy, woke up this morning and been blocked 🤷🏻‍♀️

Weirdos

Sorry to hear that, it’s sad that some people don’t have the balls just to say “ thanks but no thanks” in the way that @BelladiMamma did.

Would women say “have the balls”?, since you clearly aren’t equipped with any, or would you say “guts”, or “tits” even, ( which doesn’t sound right).

I think language is so fascinating, when something goes wrong it either “is a balls up”, or “ goes tits up”, and either sex can use either, but you wouldn’t say something “goes balls up” ?

FabulousMrFifty · 02/01/2022 19:53

@StartingAgain6369

Hi just checking in and catching up on all the posts

it's been interesting to read about the illegal substances and going for therapy sessions. I think I must have led a sheltered life as I have never touched drugs in any shape or form, never smoked and I gave up alcohol seven years ago. Well, I say gave up alcohol I have about a handful of drinks per year I'm talking single figures. Giving up alcohol was far easier than stopping biting my nails, that was so difficult.

Therapy is an interesting one, I went when my father passed away nearly 20 years ago now, we didn’t have a close father and son relationship, no major fallout but not that close. The crazy thing was when I went to see the therapist the sessions quickly moved on to relationships in general and the original reason why I went which I thought was the problem wasn't the route cause at all

I would say if anybody were considering therapy definitely go and go with an open mind. Don't be frightened to go down paths you originally weren’t thinking of.

A few posters have mentioned, sorry I can't remember everybody's name about the relief of Christmas and new year being over, I'm so relieved too it’s over, next year I'm going to have to have a serious rethink on what I do

Interesting post, my father passed 4 years ago, and we never really had a strong father / son relationship, he was ill for a long time, I still remember him saying to me that his cancer was terminal, and I didn’t know what to do with those feelings. The same as when he actually passed, ( he wanted to die at home), and he had weeks of palliative care at home ( I moved back to help out), I just felt so helpless.

Heartbeats0708 · 02/01/2022 20:09

I've raved about therapy enough times on here but since everyone else is I'll join in. I started with my current therapist about 3 years ago- I had two before that but they just didn't 'get' me. This one definitely does and it feels like a proper discussion and he challenges my thoughts which I really thrive on. It's not cheap (to me at least) at £60ph but I can truly say it's worth every penny. As pp said, if you were physically injured you'd seek treatment and MH is just as important.
I don't feel mentally 'injured' so much any more but it is a recovery process and I'm not ready to stop my sessions yet. I would like to get of my SSRI's this year though.

Thisisworsethananticpated · 02/01/2022 20:36

I would like to get of my SSRI's this year though

Oof not me yet , I really like them ! I’ve always been anxious through , even before my lovely ex ! So I think I suit them , or they suit me

teesguy · 02/01/2022 20:47

@Heartbeats0708

I've raved about therapy enough times on here but since everyone else is I'll join in. I started with my current therapist about 3 years ago- I had two before that but they just didn't 'get' me. This one definitely does and it feels like a proper discussion and he challenges my thoughts which I really thrive on. It's not cheap (to me at least) at £60ph but I can truly say it's worth every penny. As pp said, if you were physically injured you'd seek treatment and MH is just as important. I don't feel mentally 'injured' so much any more but it is a recovery process and I'm not ready to stop my sessions yet. I would like to get of my SSRI's this year though.

I was at a pretty low point when I started my therapy sessions having been signed off work. Once back at work I managed to get Occ Health to agree to on going maintenance sessions. I do about once every 3 or 4 weeks now and see them like going to get a sports massage but for my head.

livindadream · 02/01/2022 20:55

So be kind been on and off this bus for 9 years.
I have done a lot of work on myself. Only another 20 years worth of work and I’ll be in a good place.
So reside in Ireland. 52 single mum to a 19 yr old with the ex living in the same village
Have had to have a good look at myself and my own selfworth. Post separation I have always chosen men that it wouldn’t work because that was safe. So many many guys of various durations and various steps within the relationship.
So just wanted to join and be part
Of this journey with fellow like minded ladies. Who will tell me to wind my neck in where needed.
So any how had a lovely date today in a 5 star hotel for lunch with a lovely guy. Met at 2 and left 17:30 and going tot he cinema this week.
Question can you still at this age be swept
Off your feet or am I looking for a unicorn ?

dancemom · 02/01/2022 21:15

@FabulousMrFifty as Betty White said ...

northernlight20 · 02/01/2022 21:20

hi everyone, im trying to keep up with the posts, but find them very fast paced. my new man and i are getting on great, we have met each others friends and have only just started having sex after 2 months. turns out hes quite inexperienced at 45 and never slept with his ex of 12months as she was very shy and so is he. this has obviously shocked me. would it be a red flag? everything else is lovely, hes great, we have such fun and a laugh together and it feels right when we're together.

2022IamHavingYa · 02/01/2022 21:35

Please can I rejoin? I was on about 18 months ago. 2 or 3 failed dating situations and I’m back.

I have a first date with Mr Irish tomorrow night. Chat has been going well. I think we are both on the same page that we are looking for something casual, so I’ll update after the date

2022IamHavingYa · 02/01/2022 21:39

@livindadream

So be kind been on and off this bus for 9 years. I have done a lot of work on myself. Only another 20 years worth of work and I’ll be in a good place. So reside in Ireland. 52 single mum to a 19 yr old with the ex living in the same village Have had to have a good look at myself and my own selfworth. Post separation I have always chosen men that it wouldn’t work because that was safe. So many many guys of various durations and various steps within the relationship. So just wanted to join and be part Of this journey with fellow like minded ladies. Who will tell me to wind my neck in where needed. So any how had a lovely date today in a 5 star hotel for lunch with a lovely guy. Met at 2 and left 17:30 and going tot he cinema this week. Question can you still at this age be swept Off your feet or am I looking for a unicorn ?

You can be loved bombed. It’s happened to me twice now. So frustrating! Loads of attention, fancy dates, talks the talk blah blah blah. I dislike too much attention and both times, as soon as I’ve said the attention is wasted on me and I can see through it, poof! Gone…

Thisisworsethananticpated · 02/01/2022 21:45

northernlight20

Not a red flag 🚩, we see women in these pages with the same issues (inexperience)
Mould him !

livindadream · 02/01/2022 21:48

2022IamHavingYa
Totally get that and I’ve had that and at 52. I can smell most rats and unsure how you all are but if I don’t feel it in my belly it’s wrong ! It has never let
Me down 🤣🤣🤣

FabulousMrFifty · 02/01/2022 21:50

@northernlight20

hi everyone, im trying to keep up with the posts, but find them very fast paced. my new man and i are getting on great, we have met each others friends and have only just started having sex after 2 months. turns out hes quite inexperienced at 45 and never slept with his ex of 12months as she was very shy and so is he. this has obviously shocked me. would it be a red flag? everything else is lovely, hes great, we have such fun and a laugh together and it feels right when we're together.

Why would this be an issue, ? Some might see this as good thing as he will have no expectations of you ?

northernlight20 · 02/01/2022 21:57

@FabulousMrFifty just wondered if it would be a red flag to be so inexperienced at 45, but everything else is great and we are having fun finding out what we both like.

northernlight20 · 02/01/2022 21:59

@Thisisworsethananticpated

northernlight20

Not a red flag 🚩, we see women in these pages with the same issues (inexperience)
Mould him !

thank you, made me chuckle a bit about moudling him!

FabulousMrFifty · 02/01/2022 22:09

[quote northernlight20]@FabulousMrFifty just wondered if it would be a red flag to be so inexperienced at 45, but everything else is great and we are having fun finding out what we both like.[/quote]
Wouldn’t bother me if I meet an inexperienced 45 year old woman, every is inexperienced at some point, some people gain more, some less, don’t see it as a big deal

OnwardsEverStridingOnwards · 02/01/2022 22:27

@northernlight20 that wouldn't bother me at all. ❤️

VanGoghsDog · 02/01/2022 23:23

[quote northernlight20]@FabulousMrFifty just wondered if it would be a red flag to be so inexperienced at 45, but everything else is great and we are having fun finding out what we both like.[/quote]
It wouldn't be a red flag, but it would bother me because I don't want to teach someone at my age and want my partner to know what he's doing.

I did have a bf for a while in my thirties who was very inexperienced and I found it annoying. He was like a teenager, acting like he'd just invented sex. There was no technique, it was all bang, bang, done, wanna do it again?

cravingthelook · 03/01/2022 00:03

Hey all, I know I haven't been around for a few months.

Not much to report

Ms Jam and I are officially ENM partners (she has a male partner too and she no longer looking)

Mr HomeTown is as ever a total dick, we never spoke for months and I miss him. I'm determined to just stay away.

I've had multiple dates and lots of casual stuff but I would just like someone good for a while, one that could get the test out of my head would be great.
I met Mr Paramedic who had amazing potential but he was always on shift and trying to make a plan with him was a nightmare so I decided it was too much hard work.

I've got 2 or 3 really promising conversations going just now but I'll name them if they come to anything.

cravingthelook · 03/01/2022 00:13

@Heartbeats0708

I've raved about therapy enough times on here but since everyone else is I'll join in. I started with my current therapist about 3 years ago- I had two before that but they just didn't 'get' me. This one definitely does and it feels like a proper discussion and he challenges my thoughts which I really thrive on. It's not cheap (to me at least) at £60ph but I can truly say it's worth every penny. As pp said, if you were physically injured you'd seek treatment and MH is just as important. I don't feel mentally 'injured' so much any more but it is a recovery process and I'm not ready to stop my sessions yet. I would like to get of my SSRI's this year though.

Hell yes!

My therapist is awesome and she's telling me over and over I'm not weak for being open, honest, kind and compassionate. These things take courage to give out. I've been seeing her over a year and she's also an eye watering £65ph but - I can spend that on an evening out. I've got a lifetime of people pleasing to sort out.

Shayelle2009 · 03/01/2022 07:17

@dancemom hope you’re ok after the tinder experience. Love the Betty quote 🤣🤣

Hey @cravingthelook! Lovely to see you back 😁

Massive respect to all the single parents planning Christmas round their kids and dealing with everything on their own ❤️❤️ I don’t know how you do it!

Heartbeats0708 · 03/01/2022 07:51

@Thisisworsethananticpated I thought I'd be on them for life at one point but the stronger I've got through therapy and rebuilding, the more I want to try life by myself again!
Yes @teesguy it's good to think of it as maintenance. I could actually do with applying the same logic to my physical health! No chance of work helping out with payment but it's a sound investment and has seen me well so far.
Good to "see" you @cravingthelook! Sorry to hear Mr HT didn't come through for you but nice that Ms Jam is still on the scene in a more permanent capacity.

Eesha · 03/01/2022 08:04

@northernlight20 it wouldn't be a huge issue to me but I would keep an eye on their enthusiasm physically and whether we gelled together. You can be inexperienced but enthusiastic!

Eesha · 03/01/2022 08:08

@BelladiMamma hope you are having a great time with Mr Dublin

Thisisworsethananticpated · 03/01/2022 08:18

What were you on heartbeats ? I’m 50mg sertraline for 2 years now
I’m only 2 years out of a horrible split and we went into covid and teenage mental health problems so I need them , I’m also not 💯 ready for therapy yet
I don’t know why , but I’m not x