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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Dating thread 222: into 2022 and beyond

977 replies

BelladiMamma · 30/12/2021 15:33

The rules as a screenshot (feel free to copy and paste them in).

Dating thread 222: into 2022 and beyond
OP posts:
Thread gallery
12
BelladiMamma · 01/01/2022 10:06

@FabulousMrFifty

Oh dear the dreaded WhatsApp ticks. His phone is flat or off the network or you have been blocked, hopefully one of the former 2 and not the latter

No response from ms W for over a week now, so guess that’s me ghosted as well, that’s just terrific, welcome to 2022.

That's pretty crap from MsWales. You were friends before, right? Should a conversation be had or are you happy just to think of her as a ghosting tosser?
OP posts:
BelladiMamma · 01/01/2022 10:09

How's this for a cut and paste message?

'Hi thanks for the Christmas and New Year messages… I just wanted to let you know that things have changed here and I’ve been lucky enough to meet someone I really like. Best of luck with all your dating adventures!'

OP posts:
Thisisworsethananticpated · 01/01/2022 10:13

I’ve been ghosted 👻 too ! My overseas obsession didn’t text me for nye , and I’ve deleted him so can’t
In a few days I’ll hopefully stop checking WhatsApp obsessively and forget him
Onwards !

WeWantTheFinestWines · 01/01/2022 10:16

That's a great message bella and completely avoids being a ghosting tosser, which I think we all have a responsibility to not be. Not to be.

Eesha · 01/01/2022 10:17

@BelladiMamma I think that's a perfect note to send.

@WeWantTheFinestWines don't give up yet, the networks are always mad on NYE/NEW YEAR but does this now mean you like him?

@FabulousMrFifty perhaps to her it's more casual due to distance as well. Have you got any others on the go?

WeWantTheFinestWines · 01/01/2022 10:23

So Mr Favourite Place is not a ghosting tosser. He decided not to go to the NYE thing because a) a friend of someone he dated, and who he met these people via, was going to be there so he felt it would be better if he wasn't as the ex is not happy about him being friends with people he met through her, and b) he wasn't feeling very well. So he turned his phone off and went to bed. He apologised for the lack of drunken messages and said nice things about us spending more time together and read me a poem. So he's back on and I'm back in I-really-want-to-fancy-this-guy-because-he's-lovely-and-likes-me-but-I'm-not-there-yet territory. And I now understand how WhatsApp works.

BelladiMamma · 01/01/2022 10:32

@Eesha @WeWantTheFinestWines message sent and kept in my notes so it can be used again in case someone pops up.

Hurrah for not ghosting favourite place bloke!

It took me a couple of dates to really get into MrDublin but safe to say I'm slightly obsessed now ... hope it works that way for you too @WeWantTheFinestWines

OP posts:
WeWantTheFinestWines · 01/01/2022 10:34

[quote Eesha]@BelladiMamma I think that's a perfect note to send.

@WeWantTheFinestWines don't give up yet, the networks are always mad on NYE/NEW YEAR but does this now mean you like him?

@FabulousMrFifty perhaps to her it's more casual due to distance as well. Have you got any others on the go?[/quote]
I like him Esha but not as much as I'd like to like him, if that makes sense...

ibelieveinmirrorballs · 01/01/2022 10:34

@WeWantTheFinestWines

So Mr Favourite Place is not a ghosting tosser. He decided not to go to the NYE thing because a) a friend of someone he dated, and who he met these people via, was going to be there so he felt it would be better if he wasn't as the ex is not happy about him being friends with people he met through her, and b) he wasn't feeling very well. So he turned his phone off and went to bed. He apologised for the lack of drunken messages and said nice things about us spending more time together and read me a poem. So he's back on and I'm back in I-really-want-to-fancy-this-guy-because-he's-lovely-and-likes-me-but-I'm-not-there-yet territory. And I now understand how WhatsApp works.
This is a great update. Here’s to 2022 being the year of non-flakes and reasonable explanations!
teesguy · 01/01/2022 10:56

@belladiMamma I think that's a nice note to send. Much better than just not replying and the other guys can move on (and stop bugging you!)

@WeWantTheFinestWines that's great that Mr Favourite Place has been in touch

Slothmomma · 01/01/2022 11:00

Happy new year you lovely lot!

I had kids back so last night was quiet one for me in pjs watching cobra kai too @Eesha 😅 didn't even bother having a drink (although I rarely drink at home anyway). Mr m spent it alone too as wasn't feeling like socialising with his friends who'd invited him out so we messaged each other and he sent me a lovely video at midnight wishing me a hny and telling me how much he was missing me ☺

Dancerinthemoonlight · 01/01/2022 11:03

Happy New Year everyone

PurpleStripyScarf · 01/01/2022 11:10

Happy new year, all! Feeling a bit ropey today - had a nice evening with friends. Hope everyone has a lovely weekend!

VanGoghsDog · 01/01/2022 11:51

@FabulousMrFifty

Oh dear the dreaded WhatsApp ticks. His phone is flat or off the network or you have been blocked, hopefully one of the former 2 and not the latter

No response from ms W for over a week now, so guess that’s me ghosted as well, that’s just terrific, welcome to 2022.

That's really poor show from her. Even a FWB should send a couple of check ins over the Christmas and NH period.
VanGoghsDog · 01/01/2022 12:05

(NY)

My night out got cancelled as my friend isn't well, negative LFTs but someone she spent Xmas day with had tested positive and friend has head cold type symptoms, PCRs difficult to get, so called off.
I had an invite to another party but didn't really fancy it, plus people on the chat for that were dropping like flies. Though it did go ahead.

Anyway, a friend came over and I cooked sausages, oven chips and beans! Had one glass of white wine and a champagne flute of tonic water at midnight (friend was driving home).

Got a few matches on Tinder, one guy started chatting to tell me we'd chatted before, I don't recognize him, but he's not exactly stimulating so I probably stopped talking to him because he was boring me.

Two Feeld contacts have wished me HNY and, obviously, MrStone (who did go to the party I mentioned above, which was one of the reasons I didn't want to go).

Anyway, quiet day here thinking about doing the four million things I had ten days to do seven days ago and haven't done!

VanGoghsDog · 01/01/2022 12:12

Oh, and WhatsApp ticks - you get one grey one to indicate it's sent from your end (or a little clock if it won't send), then two grey ticks when their device receives it.
If they have it turned on, the ticks turn blue when they open it.

VanGoghsDog · 01/01/2022 12:13

So, if their device is turned off or out of signal, or you're blocked, you only get the one grey tick.

Thisisworsethananticpated · 01/01/2022 12:30

I know a guy who has formatted his WhatsApp to only show the two ticks grey
So they never turn blue , even when read

It’s actually kind of relaxing 😌 as takes the stress away
My friend teen daughter told me how to do this but I forgot how

VivaVegas · 01/01/2022 12:35

Happy New Year to you all!

Seems a few others on here of a similar age after long marriages.

So today, I need to take all things Christmas down, sort out my finances under my new budget and pull together a(nother!) dating profile 😬

I know once I get back into it I'll be fine but I always hate the feeling of having to do this (at my age!). And let's face it there aren't a load of eligible bachelors of a similar age just roaming the streets of my local area!

I guess because I was married for so long and oblivious to OLD that I still feel a bit embarrassed about advertising myself so to speak.

Hopefully I can just tweak my previous profile and add a few up to date pics and then I'm done.

Thinking Match initially as that's been successful so far, is what I know and will ease me in.

Stayingstrongish · 01/01/2022 12:47

@WeWantTheFinestWines yay happy for you that you’ve had contact now! It’s crappy waiting and wondering.

Stayingstrongish · 01/01/2022 12:51

I found last night tough as I was on my own (didn’t even have the kids) and of course the end of the year brings all sorts of feelings up. But I had a zoom chat with an old friend and then a chat with MrBeard after midnight (he’s away visiting family). Glad NYE is over and looking forward to throwing myself into my hobbies and other fun stuff this year, while totally ignoring a huge big birthday coming up soon 😳

ibelieveinmirrorballs · 01/01/2022 12:53

@BelladiMamma

Advice needed as well re OLD contacts whom I'd told I was going to be away over nye (which I was) and who are still sporadically messaging eg MrChef2, asking for dates. They're just annoying me now. Not very grown up I know I've just been ignoring.

Do I send a copy and paste 'hey I've met someone' to them. And maybe a conversation with MrPoet? MrDublin is playing a blinder as I'm actually thinking about dropping these guys so I'd better make sure I get some compromises on his lifestyle things I'm not into ...

What kinds of things are his lifestyle things you’re not into?
VanGoghsDog · 01/01/2022 13:04

@Thisisworsethananticpated

I know a guy who has formatted his WhatsApp to only show the two ticks grey So they never turn blue , even when read

It’s actually kind of relaxing 😌 as takes the stress away
My friend teen daughter told me how to do this but I forgot how

Yes, you can turn off the blue ticks. MrStone and MrWG both had theirs turned off. I'm not a fan of that myself.

I have "last seen" turned off as I felt anxious looking to see when someone was online and now it's been off so long I've forgotten it exists.

BelladiMamma · 01/01/2022 13:13

@ibelieveinmirrorballs recreational drugs

OP posts:
ibelieveinmirrorballs · 01/01/2022 13:33

[quote BelladiMamma]@ibelieveinmirrorballs recreational drugs[/quote]
Ah that’s interesting - Mr Mixtape partakes sometimes and I don’t (I’m also teetotal although used to both drink and take recreational drugs ‘back in the day’)… is it something you think he will compromise on?