Dating thread 222: into 2022 and beyond

[BelladiMamma]

The rules as a screenshot (feel free to copy and paste them in).

@BelladiMamma Great news about Mr Dublin. Hopefully it's a great year for us both. I'm happier than I ever thought possible!

@teesguy thanks. I don't really have any hobbies so it's difficult to write about myself without it sounding boring. I've just no idea where to start...

Stayingstrongish

My son was assessed privately last summer
He totally denies it, as does his dad and his sibling
Anyway long story short I decided to use the xmas break to research a bit
And it’s been very very eye opening and enlightening
Look I’d never diagnose myself , and I don’t need it as it’s not impairing my life
BUT , it explains a bit why my love life is such a ducking disaster !! And my many many quirks

And how I made a total fantasy about some overseas guy and got totally bat shit obsessed and made a whole fantasy life in my head

I don’t think I’m safe to date until I’ve explored this a bit better to be honest (safe for my mental health i mean !!!)

And lovely to see some of the familiar names so happy
Gives me hope ! Really ❤️

[quote BelladiMamma]@WeWantTheFinestWines the great thing is that I can see in everything he does and says that he feels the same way. There's no need for analysis, it's all there. Bloody great.

I feel extremely lucky; it was the last weekend I was going to date this year and I'd gone off all the apps so I could focus on family and logistics etc for Christmas. It's also obvious he's not just here for cuffing season. Or at least - he could be as who knows what the future holds - but he's here in a very sincere and honest and loving way.

Incredible really. [/quote]

That is just gorgeous 😊

apinions
I wrote on tinder ‘single mum , kids away for the summer and and looking for fun’

I won’t use that line again
I was a sharp introduction to OLD and dick pix

But something very snappy ?

@apinions it doesn't have to be hobbies, just things that you like doing,

As an example, mine says I like the outdoors, running, live music, good food, the theatre and travel. It hopefully gives people a quick insight to me as a person and also gives something to start off a conversation.

@apinions

Ok, I've been lurking but I'm now going to join this thread. Was married 25 yrs, and have now been separated for a few years, divorce still proceeding. So haven't dated for almost 30 years! The apps are so out of my comfort zone, but I'm starting to think of what to write in my profile. If anyone has any advice on this I'd be grateful.

When I’m browsing I’m look for about 3 pictures, 2 clear face shots not took close, and 1 full length

For a bio a few paragraphs, more more than 3 Really
1 about yourself, bit of an intro your key values, what makes you tick, likes, hobbies etc.
1 about what you are looking for ( friendship, relationship etc)
1 about the person you are looking for, indoors, old doors, values, any deal breakers ( smoking etc)

I would suggest you rough these out on paper 1st, then revisit after a few days, or else put down some key words and build around those, before you even think about the apps.

Then browse a few apps before hand, maybe browse as a man looking for a woman and look at some other profiles, you might pick up few ideas.

Hope this helps

@Gonnagetgoing @MizK
2022 is the year I need to get my head around Ms YM1, when we had afternoon tea yesterday she mentioned that her friends want to get her on OLD, she's said no to it but what gets me she felt it ok to tell me, I suppose I really should of said something but I didn't want to wreck a lovely day. I think I'm not doing myself any favours because I don't do confrontation very well and in general quite laid back person

A big hello to all the new posters and a even bigger hello to @ReturnBunk, glad you are back

And Finally .......

I would like to wish everyone a Happy New Year, if you are out and about have a party and some fun or if you're at home crash out on the sofa with a plentiful supply of drink/snacks/chocolate

I have sneaky feeling tonight I will be playing dad's taxi service

Take care everyone, see you the otherside in 2022

Thanks @teesguy and @FabulousMrFifty . Good idea to join and browse as a man first. Do you think I can do this on Bumble?

when we had afternoon tea yesterday she mentioned that her friends want to get her on OLD, she's said no to it but what gets me she felt it ok to tell me

I’d be brave and query that
She is either wanting to force a conversation but it too scared or shy
I wouldn’t like that if I’m investing time and attention into someone

@Thisisworsethananticpated that must be difficult that your son and his dad don’t accept the diagnosis. My son is only five so not aware of it at all. There is a genetic element to ASD isn’t there. My ex has said am too sensitive and anxious for his liking. I don’t know if that’s really true, but it’s certainly made me painfully aware that some guys may think so.

Hope you manage to get yourself to a point where you can feel happy to date - if you want to that is! I think there deffo benefits to being single too.

@StartingAgain6369 are you two meant to be a ‘thing’? Is she maybe unsure of how you feel and this was a round about way of trying to gauge whether you want to be exclusive?

It’s a funny one as i naturally go for ND guys
Always have
But
Maybe not the right ones !
And NT guys find me a bit odd and actually I don’t gel with them as they can be a bit too ‘normal’
I like weird , but I need to work out my boundaries

@52andblue

Can I ask for any OLD App recommendations please ? I am Separated 5 years & now Divorcing, after a 20 year marriage. I have a history of poor boundaries & abusive relationships so I'm really really cautious. I am very rural, a Carer& have mobility issues so that doesn't really help either. I don't have much time or money avaliable (& am not sure its 'worth it'?) Equally I don't really want to be alone for the rest of my life either so I guess I should make an effort. Argh..

A thousand apologies, pls see my answers below

When I’m browsing I’m look for about 3 pictures, 2 clear face shots not took close, and 1 full length

For a bio a few paragraphs, more more than 3 Really
1 about yourself, bit of an intro your key values, what makes you tick, likes, hobbies etc.
1 about what you are looking for ( friendship, relationship etc)
1 about the person you are looking for, indoors, old doors, values, any deal breakers ( smoking etc)

I would suggest you rough these out on paper 1st, then revisit after a few days, or else put down some key words and build around those, before you even think about the apps.

Then browse a few apps before hand, maybe browse as a man looking for a woman and look at some other profiles, you might pick up few ideas.

Hope this helps

@StartingAgain6369
Oh I am sorry mate, she might as well have just kicked you in the nuts, sounds like all she wants is friendship

@StartingAgain6369 I've been guilty of doing this in the past to people I am crushing on, you know the 'I'll see what he says if I mention xyz'. It's a bit childish but sometimes we are cowards. Don't be a victim to this yourself and talk to her about your feelings ❤️

@WeWantTheFinestWines

inabetter did you get the L-word back???

I'm thinking that if I ever have sex again I won't have to worry about contraception as I'm 55 and a have been menopausing for years. Luckily not a dried-up prune though 🤣 Still don't know if Mr Favourite Place is going to get my juices flowing... there were only minor fanny flutters after last night's kissing, but I'm going to give it time. He's promised me a drunken midnight message tonight which is great, because I'm prone to drunken messaging on NYE myself. I'll be with my usual NYE gang, in their massive posh garden shed with a fire pit in the middle with loads of food and drinks and people playing guitar and everyone singing like a bunch of old hippies and then playing Cards Against Humanity. I hope everyone else enjoys their evening.

At the risk of sounding like a dick (no pun intended), make sure you stick with condoms until you and whoever has the penis, have had your STI tests. I got mine from local sexual health authorities, kit in the post in plain wrapping, results via text.

patient.info/news-and-features/why-are-stis-on-the-rise-in-older-people

I did this with ms W before we went “without”

@FabulousMrFifty @WeWantTheFinestWines great advice right there ^

@52andblue A word of caution about browsing as a bloke - as a new ‘bloke’ you’ll be shown all the most popular profiles, which generally, sadly, is not determined by the profile text. Similarly when you join as a woman, you’ll see all the most popular profiles.

Profiles are pretty generic, you’ll find. I think its better not to crib. But that’s more about me really; I like originality 🤷‍♂️

Happy new year, folks.

Aargh dagger to the heart MrA's NYE insta story popped up ... no women involved but I know he's going to be having an amazing night.

It's all good. MrDublin has just sent me a description of how he'd like us to spend Christmas and NYE next year and it involves all the things I love: music, mad Celts and ponies 😁

Thanks @FabulousMrFifty - v helpful x

After my ghosting experience I am chatting to a new guy, Mr Sea. I know that most people say to keep irons and other chats going but I personally can only concentrate on one person at a time. He is another long distance one for me so not sure when, if ever, we will meet.

@Stayingstrongish @BelladiMamma @Thisisworsethananticpated @FabulousMrFifty

I've known her for years, we was 'a thing' 5 years ago, but Ms YM1 then had an event happen in her private life and I backed off mainly to give her space to get her head around everything. I continued to give her my support in keeping the house together, financial and emotional support

Then in September I said about how we used to be with one another and she said she wasn't interested in me but wants to stay friends

I want to say more but struggling with it being an open forum

@StartingAgain6369 I think if she's said outright she isn't interested, then really you need to listen plus not spend all this coupley time together as it will stop you moving on. If you really are still confused, ask her one more time then leave it. She kinda has the best of all worlds with you without the commitment which isn't very fair on you.