How did you know your marriage was over... Describe in three words...

[LondonGrimmer]

Or maybe a short sentence. I have massive doubts. Just wondering how others knew...

Refused to take any responsibility
Couldn’t hold down a job
Embarrassed me continually in public

@MyDogIsCool

Didn't know which side of him I was going home to.

God this sums it up beautifully

He flew almost half way round the world to visit his parents and I realised how much I enjoyed him being away and didn't want him back.

@Mochatatts

Emotionally cold Selfish Controlling Dull

This

He moved another woman in whilst I slept on the airbed in the lounge

(To be fair I already knew it was over long before then but that was the final kick up the arse I needed to get myself out)

Cheating / controlling / gaslighting.

Two years after his sinister double life came to light ( Christmas Eve 2019) and just been through harrowing fact finding hearing in family court. Judge made findings against him of coercive control, financial abuse and physical abuse. It cost a small fortune in legal fees to get separate from him , and not completely out of the woods yet, but worth every penny.

Abusive Alcoholic Narcissist

I’d go on Rightmove and see what I could buy if he died. He was well insured, and I look good in black.

Lump biopsy alone.

Well, with three children under 5 with me. He has at home watching the racing. Very outing.

He hit DD.

@caringcarer

I stopped caring

Yes, that's the killer moment isn't it.

Another work colleague

He hit me

@thisyearsuckssofar

He told me he hated me. That was today.

He's gone now and I won't be welcoming him back ever again. 24 years together and married for 17 and I feel nothing. I worry for my 13 year old son though 🙁

Hugs for you Your DS will be OK - he has you...

Skid on bed

Im not completely there but i want to do a Shirley Valentine

He raped me regularly

@Coldcoffeeclub my God I’m so sorry , that’s horrendous. How are you now are you getting help with coping?

Gaslighting, manipulative, covert narcissistic man child

He ran away

He was cheating.

Well, he had an emotional affair. Was completely unrepentant. I agreed to try therapy for the sake of our son, but luckily for me, the therapist we got was absolutely shite. She asked me to empathise with him because he was bullied at school.
I had a sort of epiphany moment, where I suddenly realised that I didn’t care. He had played the “poor me” card through our whole relationship. He was always seeking sympathy and I realised he had wrung every single drop of it out of me, and I wouldn’t piss on him if he was on fire.

He sometimes says something angling for sympathy when I see him, but a lot less these days, as I just don’t react.

Show dad only, at home did nothing.
Wouldn’t spend time with me or me and baby.
Wouldn’t contribute financially.
Expected me to fund a credit card for him, pay for his kids.
Wouldn’t communicate.
Caught sexting several females.
Caught sexting again whilst my dad was dying.

I've not been dealing very well with my DH's ongoing lack of involvement with the kids, his laying in bed whilst I graft. I suppose Christmas is an even more pressured time. When I ask for assistance, involvement or even some company he's not interested. But I don't know if I can cope on my own, as it's almost already on my own and I can't cope very well now. I wish I could just leave, but I wanted to be a family, we have kids.

You are already on your own. He is making your workload worse. He is not interested in being a family. Leave

Years of him being depressed and refusing to do anything about it.
Fired from 5 senior jobs in 15 years - always someone else's fault and I had to pick up the financial impact.
Had zero support for me when I moved to his country to be with him.
Lazy in the home - I did EVERYTHING.
Resented me being successful at work.
Wanted to do a $1m house reno - even though he didn't have a job!
Not forgetting the time he gifted me 2 black eyes and neck bruising from a strangle hold.
Had a massive sense of relief and a BIG smile on my face the day I signed the separation agreement and left him.
You know, when you know. Good luck OP.

also used to fantasise about my first husband dying, I’d think about how much easier my life would be. It’s an awful thing to think but there it is.

^this