How did you know your marriage was over... Describe in three words...

[LondonGrimmer]

Or maybe a short sentence. I have massive doubts. Just wondering how others knew...

Realising I wanted him to leave me/cheat on me/give me some other get out. Looking at him after a relationship counselling session and realising that I didn't want things to work out (massive ick).

Not worth it

He took illegal drugs behind my back

slept with phone
showered with phone
showered after 'work'
trimmed his pubes
went on diet
called me 'name'
(all were new behaviours)

@Waftypants

Walking on eggshells

Snap 🤷‍♀️

Yeah absolutely fine thank you have a new partner and still have counselling over 7 years after leaving but I left so it could be much worse. He had applied successfully a shotgun license and wanted to kill me when he could get the gun so I left at the perfect time for me and my ds and never looked back. No evidence for a prosecution however by reporting it he will never be able to have a shotgun license now and with clares law it should help anyone else avoid the same situation. Thanks for asking

I always felt so so alone.

[quote Tempnamelady]@Coldcoffeeclub my God I’m so sorry , that’s horrendous. How are you now are you getting help with coping?[/quote]
Just replied above but quite new to mumsnet so forgot to tag or quote!

The knot in my tummy became so big that I honestly thought it would develop into a tumour if I didn’t take steps to leave him & the horrible atmosphere we put up with at home.

He wouldnt commit (to anything)
No proper support

Broke penis beaker.

@LondonGrimmer

Some of these are striking a chord with me:

Happier on own
Easier on own
Don't miss him (not that he goes out often but when he does, even for a few hours, I feel like I can breathe again and have more energy)
No empathy (from him)
Don't fancy him

Not sure if it's enough to end the marriage though. Think Covid, lockdowns, two kids etc has added to the feelings. Hoping counselling will help us repair, for the kids' sakes really.

It's so unfair to put yourself through all this shit for the kids sake. Think about how they will feel when the learn their mother stayed in a relationship that made them unhappy for what she thought was their sake. Most kids wouldn't want that. Don't use them as an excuse or reason. It's not fair, it's not right and you need to think about what is best for you too.

What’s a babygro?

Plotting his death.

He hurt me

No intimacy.

Kicked in the ribs.

ChocAuVin Me too, but one decade. 🥲

@EveningOverRooftops

Not marriage but relationships, all different men.

He didn’t come into the 20 week scan.

He confessed he was into pegging.

I had a panic attack about moving cities. I’ve moved countless times up and down the country, never moved and had that reaction.

Just a deep sadness whenever I looked at him that I knew we could never live together despite how I feel. He has his personal issues I have mine and it would be like a firebomb to put them under the same roof. It’s been a rough year.

Pegging !! Just googled this, wish i hadn't lol

Took illegal drugs behind my bsvk

@Hen2018

He wouldn’t let me have sanitary towels

What! Why not?

Left for dead.

Wanted to live

Lack of communication & emotional connection. Didn’t have sex in over 2 years. He was a good man but I was so unhappy inside. But put on a good front. He had the marriage of his parents which is something I didn’t want.

Am humbled by all the posters on here. To those hesitating, get yourself together and leave. Much better than slowly drowning in a relationship. Not saying it will be easy but it will ultimately be better.

For myself not doing well on three words:
A complete man-baby
Said his friends disliked me
I didn’t want his children
He resented my job
I stopped caring

He died a few years later and I reconnected with my exMiL, lovely lady. She never berated me for leaving, I suspect she understood why I left.

DP is the opposite, we have a good life and children.