Boyfriend been kicked out and wants to live with me....

[homealonnneee]

Been together 6 months.
He had his own flat 5 mins away from me.
His landlord is a arse and has kicked him out.
He keeps saying il just sleep in my car(obviously I can't let him do that )But I know once he is in mine he won't leave.
I'm not ready to live with him
What do I do?
Even if I say I will find you somewhere to live he will say he can't afford bond etc
Months rent up front etc
I feel totally trapped into letting him stay now

I'll send you a British documentary link to prove it.

I really hope he didn't turn up at your door with all his worldly goods packed in his car last night. Probably with a side of 'Oh, I'm soooooo cold, I'm dying, please can I stay for one night of human comfort before I depart this mortal coil....' in a shit rendition of the death of Little Dorrit.

[quote Successgirl2022]@NynaeveSedai

No, my husband comes from a middle-class stable happy enough family. He was self-motivated and built a good enough career and life for himself. But in his childhood, his family also could struggle a bit financially with 3 children, him, his 2 years older sister, and his 2 years younger brother. He knew to have a better life financially he had to try his best at school, college, university, and in his career to achieve what he has achieved Thank God and him.

But if my husband was originally poor, I would still agree to marry him and we would build a well-off life together working on it together and as a team (like we have done). Happy marriage commitment means 'for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness, and in health'.

Some men/women/families can become rich and well off and can become bankrupts making wrong decisions in business/investments and not all families survive after that as well. If someone is rich/well off, it's never a guarantee they will stay like this for life and they could also have financial ups and downs from time to time.

People can be in different life situations because of different circumstances. Their financial success also depends on if their parents/they have good health as well as good mental health, resilience to work/study hard etc. If they had a clear vision and goals for what they wanted to achieve in their life career-wise and financially. Some people can be happy with the bare minimum in life, some need more or much more but often they have to work hard or very hard for it.

Some people can come from dysfunctional poor families that are NOT their personal fault and can build a happy stable minimum middle-class level for themselves and their family and more - higher income level, can become richer) and more well-off and financially more stable and secure than their parents.

A person's upbringing in poverty and their occasionally not-so-happy childhood is not necessarily their own poverty for life.[/quote]
Again, what does that have to do with the OP?

Again, what does that have to do with the OP?

Goodness only knows. Successgirl's posts are bizarre, to say the least.

@AlfonsoTheUnrepentant

Again, what does that have to do with the OP?

Goodness only knows. Successgirl's posts are bizarre, to say the least.

It's Christmas, there's a lot of mulled wine about.

OP, resist totally.
There are lots of hotels desperate for bookings at the moment. Send him a few links to them, you obviously don't want him to move in.

Just dump him OP. You don't want to live with him, you know that he's manipulative and probably a liar, he's not reliable, and you can't trust him. This isn't going to get any better. You might as well take the opportunity to drop him.

He can definitely sleep in his car or at a mate's house, or maybe drive himself back to his parents' place. He'll be fine.

He has a car so he can sleep in it. He needs to contact the council and tell them he has even evicted and is now homeless, they fill find him shelter somewhere. Or perhaps ask his friends for help. You don’t want him to live with you which is fine, he needs to accept that.

Please don't let him move in - not even "just for a couple of nights pleeeeeeeease?"

His story is full of holes. He sounds like he has no money and he couldn't get a proper tenancy so he had this other arrangement and now it has ended.

Please don't let him move in. Once he moves in, feels comfortable and relaxes, he will start to see it as "his" home.
Will he pay half of your bills? No. Will he expect you to cook, clean and do his laundry? Yes.
Might he decide to drink, smoke dope and maybe have the odd mate around? Will he stay out all night when he feels like it making you wonder if he is dead in a gutter? Will he sometimes not go to work because he can't be arsed? Will he sit and play computer games in your living room for hours on end while eating your food?
JUST DON'T. and if you have kids, Christ, DON'T. many, many men see single mothers as a target for easy sex and a roof over their head.

I suspect the OP isn't going to be back.

He was renting on a casual basis? Surely if there's a hole in the ceiling then the landlord/friend wouldn't be able to rent it out again until it's fixed?

Nah. You've only known him for six months and you don't want him to move in.
There's your answer!

Absolutely not.

Do it and you will regret it.

In fact I would be ending things.

The way you have written about him is not good.
You write if he moves in you will never get rid of him?

Why would you consider this?

End things and protect yourself from a user, a loser, and a waster.

If I could afford it I would either a) give him fuel money to fill the car so he can drive far, far away from me or b) pay for a night in a premier inn type place (and let's not forget he should have the £100 he didn't pay his landlord hanging around).

You don't even owe him that. I assume he's 18+ and a full-ass grown adult. He is responsible only for himself. You need to do what is right for you, and it's there in your OP... you don;t want him to move in.

Well this thread took an unexpected turn from potential (likely) cocklodger to potentially asylum seeking ousted Prince.

He needs to call the local homeless prevention team in the council. They will be able to help with it - it's not your job OP.

@RunningInTheWind

Well this thread took an unexpected turn from potential (likely) cocklodger to potentially asylum seeking ousted Prince.

Don't do it - my ex pulled this stunt three weeks after we got together. I ended up leaving my lovely flatshare (and friends in the lurch, to my shame) because he couldn't afford the rent on his own.

He had no friends supposedly to move in with. Funnily enough they materialised after we moved in to lounge around our new place smoking weed with him on a daily basis.

He trashed the place so that was the deposit I paid for gone. He also cleaned me out of my savings, and I basically supported him throughout. The relationship culminated in him stealing my car, attacking me and using my mobile to run up a whopping bill calling his bit on the side.

Don't be as thick as I was.

'You can stay on the settee tonight. Don't bother unpacking, you are not stopping. You have got 24 hours to get yourself sorted.'

I wonder if the 'friend' landlord was actually a girlfriend who found out about op and turfed him out on his ass.

@AlfonsoTheUnrepentant

I suspect the OP isn't going to be back.

I was thinking that. ☹ Hope she does the right thing. IE Nothing!

@homealonnneee there is more to his story. Trust your instinct

He can go on Spareroom.com and rent a room in a house. Don't let him cock lodge

I wouldn't even let him stay one night now , you won't get him out .

probably a load of bs anyway let him move in and you know that will be that and he won't be leaving you don't want it it's too soon and, to be honest, it sounds like deep down you have doubts about him so stick to your guns. you will be digging your own grave if you do let him move in let him sleep in the car or sofa surf at friends or find a hostel.

@Successgirl2022 give up sweetheart. What someone else said is true about you, the lights are on but no one is home. Just either switch the computer off or put the phone or tablet down and go back to watching TV. Your statements are helping no one.