Boyfriend been kicked out and wants to live with me....

[homealonnneee]

Been together 6 months.
He had his own flat 5 mins away from me.
His landlord is a arse and has kicked him out.
He keeps saying il just sleep in my car(obviously I can't let him do that )But I know once he is in mine he won't leave.
I'm not ready to live with him
What do I do?
Even if I say I will find you somewhere to live he will say he can't afford bond etc
Months rent up front etc
I feel totally trapped into letting him stay now

Something isn't adding up.

There's a procedure that has to followed when evicting a tenant;the landlord cannot change the locks and leave the tenants belongings outside.Under current legislation due to Covid the landlord has to give the tenant 6 months notice to leave.Funnily enough isn't your relationship 6 months old?

His accommodation is NOT YOUR RESPONSIBILITY
Do not let him move in. Just don't. He's got a job? Able bodied and mentally well enough to pay his own rent? Not your problem.

Also there was a poster on a thread on here who was having a nightmare with their BIL.

She and DH had let him stay on their sofa and was paying abit of "rent" to them to help cover the share of utilities he was using and he basically outstayed his welcome and wouldn't move on and he was a arsehole and said he was a tenant as he was paying rent and they'd need a section 21 to evict him and he wouldn't have to leave as it was 6 months notice anyway for a section 21.There was no tenancy agreement or even a bedroom there.

@homealonnneee

Well that's the strange thing He was paying £400 a month So I don't get why he would do it. He said last month he paid £300 and said he wouldn't start paying the full £400 till his repairs were sorted

Well technically you can't withhold rent in exchange for repairs. His understanding of renting doesn't sound very well informed.

Hard no from me.

You'll never be able to get rid of him, even though you didn't want him there in the first place. Terrible thing for relationships ... inertia ... you'll struggle to end it.

Dump him if he can't take you're perfectly reasonable no for an answer.

Somebody who doesn't have any friends or family to ask for help is somebody you'll be looking after for the rest of your life.

Nah. He wasn’t chucked out for no reason. He either wasn’t paying or was causing damage or was trouble.

Don’t let him move in.

You have two choices:

Be brave, clear and adult and say no.

Or

Choose to be a victim and lay down and let him take control of your home and your life.

Up to you.

I would let him move in but I understand you are not ready.

I moved with my fiancee in 5 months. We got engaged in 4 months :)

We've been happily married for 16 years.

@homealonnneee

I don't think he signed a tenancy agreement or anything. It's just a friend of a friend with a flat above a shop.

So he was using his friend and now he wants to use you. And he is attempting to emotionally manipulate you through guilt.

Tell him to sod off. He's a creepy, rinsing bastard.

Say NO and mean it with every fibre of your being .OR you will be back on here in 6 months asking for advice on how to get rid of him because you have your very own mumsnet cocklodger.

He needs to report this to the police if true. The landlord can’t just change the locks and evict him even if there is no AST.

@homealonnneee

Well that's the strange thing He was paying £400 a month So I don't get why he would do it. He said last month he paid £300 and said he wouldn't start paying the full £400 till his repairs were sorted

I know it seems unfair, but Shelter will say don’t withhold rent, it’s the wrong thing to do, even if the landlord is a wanker. Even without a signed tenancy, he still has rights as a sitting tenant and needs to urgently seek proper legal advice.

You don't want him to live there. That's all you need to know.

So just say "you living here isn't going to work for me" if he says why just say "I want to get to know you better before committing"

Repeat.

It all sounds like a big pile of bullshit but, importantly, none of it is your pile of bullshit. Maybe it's all your boyfriend's fault because he didn't get a proper tenancy, maybe it's all the landlord's fault, but none of it is your fault. If you make any moves to fix the problems arising from your boyfriend not being a capable adult, then you will always be fixing his problems for him. Don't start.

Doesn't he have any friends at all.

This does sound dodgy

Literally all his friends and family live far away? Have you met any of them?

@Successgirl2022

I moved with my fiancee in 5 months. We got engaged in 4 months :)

We've been happily married for 16 years.

And the relevance of that is?

I'd find out where the landlord lives and go ask him for his side of the story. Sounds like bullshit from your bf. Please don't let him move it.

No you're not moving in. Sort something else out
Or even better
This relationship isn't working for me. Goodbye

Awkward.

You just have to have an honest conversation and say you're not ready, it's too soon.

He can always get a house share for now (spare room or gumtree), usually flexible leases and low deposits so he can save for a holding deposit for his own place.

noooooo run away, big big red flag.

apart from say no to him even thinking of moving in - dump his ass

@NynaeveSedai

And the relevance of that is?

Some couples can be really happy after moving in with each other early and the amount of time dating each other is never a guarantee the longer, the better.