Boyfriend been kicked out and wants to live with me....

[homealonnneee]

Been together 6 months.
He had his own flat 5 mins away from me.
His landlord is a arse and has kicked him out.
He keeps saying il just sleep in my car(obviously I can't let him do that )But I know once he is in mine he won't leave.
I'm not ready to live with him
What do I do?
Even if I say I will find you somewhere to live he will say he can't afford bond etc
Months rent up front etc
I feel totally trapped into letting him stay now

You know best op go with your gut.

It's still early in the relationship though. Does he have a plan to move out, support costs for him moving in temporarily? I think this it vital if he's not a wannabe cock lodger.

I mean if I was in that situation I'd have a plan wouldn't you.

You'll end up having the change the locks, mark my words.

[quote Successgirl2022]@NynaeveSedai

And the relevance of that is?

Some couples can be really happy after moving in with each other early and the amount of time dating each other is never a guarantee the longer, the better.[/quote]
Was your bloke a loser with no friends and family and pushing to move in straight away like?

@homealonnneee

Well that's the strange thing He was paying £400 a month So I don't get why he would do it. He said last month he paid £300 and said he wouldn't start paying the full £400 till his repairs were sorted

His friend likely has good reason for wanting him out

Do not let him in.

Tbh it's q red flag that he would even suggest it. Let alone pushing the issue.

Tell him no. You dont even need to give reason why. You've only known this bloke 6 months. 'I don't want to' is reason enough.

There are men that deliberately employ the 'bur I have no where else to go' tactic in order to move in fast. I wouldn't be surprised if there were other love bombing incidents before now.

This early in the relationship and he's already telling you he'll be a cocklodger or else he'll sleep out in the freezing cold?
What a catch!

Run, OP.
You will dodge a bullet.

Seems a bit heartless to me, this is OP's 'apparent' boyfriend, if you can discard him like that then it's probably not the right relationship for you. I'd let him stay for a while whilst he got himself sorted if I was serious about the relationship going somewhere on the provision he made contributions to the rent/food and had found suitable accommodation in a certain time frame. Alternatively, OP should break up with him if she doesn't care about his well being or him enough

@homealonnneee

He has repairs he wants doing and the landlord wouldn't do it. (This is true,he has a massive hole in his ceiling ) So landlord changed locks whilst he was at work and left his things outside

I do not believe this. Sorry

@twinkletoesbluesky

Seems a bit heartless to me, this is OP's 'apparent' boyfriend, if you can discard him like that then it's probably not the right relationship for you. I'd let him stay for a while whilst he got himself sorted if I was serious about the relationship going somewhere on the provision he made contributions to the rent/food and had found suitable accommodation in a certain time frame. Alternatively, OP should break up with him if she doesn't care about his well being or him enough

I definitely think OP should dump him.

I would say no and run a mile !

@DaisyNGO - She should if she feels he'll move in and she'll be stuck with him. Begs the question of why being in this relationship in the first place?

@twinkletoesbluesky

Seems a bit heartless to me, this is OP's 'apparent' boyfriend, if you can discard him like that then it's probably not the right relationship for you. I'd let him stay for a while whilst he got himself sorted if I was serious about the relationship going somewhere on the provision he made contributions to the rent/food and had found suitable accommodation in a certain time frame. Alternatively, OP should break up with him if she doesn't care about his well being or him enough

Boyfriend has already said he can't afford a bond or deposit, and was paying minimal rent on previous place. He has not offered any money to the OP. He is the classic Cocklodger referenced many times on here, where are his friends and family from before his relationship? And most crucially, why is this OP's issue to solve? Why does she have to let him stay while he gets "sorted"? Caring about a partner should not involve having to solve his very bottom layer of the Maslow hierarchy of needs.

You sound like you don't like him that much or even trust him to stay for a short period of time. In that case I'd end it.

I was in relationships with two men that I would've let move in with me for a while til they got on their feet and they wouldn't take advantage. THere were others I wouldnt even think a second to let them move in with me cause I know they would never leave and i didn't like or love them enough where that wouldn't matter.

@homealonnneee

He has repairs he wants doing and the landlord wouldn't do it. (This is true,he has a massive hole in his ceiling ) So landlord changed locks whilst he was at work and left his things outside

If the landlord has done that it’s illegal. Tell him to seek advice. Don’t let him move in. Review your relationship.

[quote twinkletoesbluesky]@DaisyNGO - She should if she feels he'll move in and she'll be stuck with him. Begs the question of why being in this relationship in the first place? [/quote]
Maybe it's casual, especially after such a short time.
But now is the ideal time to stop.

No do not do it. I was all but forced to have my ex living with me and every fiber of my being was screaming at me.

This is his problem to resolve.

He's lying to you.
If you let him move in he'll be there forever.

[quote twinkletoesbluesky]@DaisyNGO - She should if she feels he'll move in and she'll be stuck with him. Begs the question of why being in this relationship in the first place? [/quote]
Not wanting to have your boyfriend move in after 6 months doesn't mean you aren't into the relationship but women are under no obligation to rescue men at ANY point in a relationship, but least of all when they are still just dating which is what you are at 6 months.

You don't want to live with him SO DONT let him move in.

His landlord was probably expecting to be paid the rent ; and that's why BF won't look for other accommodation; he won't pay rent. He's had a better idea, leech off you for free .

It's not your job to find him somewhere to live. Let him sleep in his car.

Hmmm did he make the holes in the ceiling by any chance?

Another manipulative chancer looking for a free ride 🙄

Im another firmly telling you the classic no is a complete sentence. He is pushing it. He does not care about your boundaries. You already know he would not leave. You already know he isnt a good prospect.

End the relationship.

OP's gut feeling is that she will have trouble getting him out and I think she should absolutely stick by that and safeguard her own space and the roof over her head. I'm sure moving in early has worked well for others but that's not what the OP foresees happening or wants to do so she shouldn't.

I don't judge anyone for going through a rough patch but he was in precarious accommodation and doesn't have any other options other than his car. I have sympathy for anyone in this predicament but it's not for the OP to manage.

Perhaps refer him to Shelter for advice, or maybe look for an estate agent who offer zero deposit schemes? In all honesty these aren't great value but the ones I've heard about have 3 month break clauses so you can pay the deposit a bit later. It might give him some flexibility.

@homealonnneee

He has repairs he wants doing and the landlord wouldn't do it. (This is true,he has a massive hole in his ceiling ) So landlord changed locks whilst he was at work and left his things outside

Illegal.

Where's his deposit?

@homealonnneee

He has friends but his family live in London

He's got a car. He can drive to them.