Dating Thread 220 - where we forget about pensions and get back to dating

[WeWantTheFinestWines]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

@jugglingjobs
That doesn’t sound right, my hobby means I sometimes don’t respond to messages for several hours but the phone is always on and messages delivered

@jugglingjobs I’d be thinking he’s got a burner phone

Going to have a quick read through todays thread shenanigans, see some newbies have joined! Yay.

Feeeling really christmassy now! Spent the whole afternoon at a pug Christmas party @WeWantTheFinestWines i'm guessing it would have been your idea of a nightmare afternoon. My DS was like a mini-pug whisperer they were chasing him all over the place and our little pooch was having a blast. Was just what we needed! Although can you believe it the teacher messaged TODAY! On a WEEKEND surely this is a line crossed and a massive over-step of parent/teacher boundaries! I'm trying so hard not to let him bring me down but hearing from him this morning after such a nice weekend it feels like this is what he is trying to do. Roll on the school holidaaaaaaays!

In other news, magnet-man was on a weekend trip with his mates and sent some photo's! I'm really wanting an escape this week. I'm hoping the Universe is on our side and gives us some good-luck and gives him good routes!

Oh my god @Naimee87 why was the teacher messaging you? How intrusive, what a creep. The pug party sounded incredible I’d have loved to been there 😆😆

So a question for the ladies,

If your noticed your partner wearing something in bed, let’s just pretend it’s a pair of PJ shorts, would you guffaw with laughter or just hop in ?

@Naimee87 could you put a complaint in about the teacher?

@jugglingjobs, that sounds rather suspicious to me. Even if it’s true it doesn’t say much for how important the date was for him nor did he say anything until prompted by your message . If you are feeling generous give him one more chance but don’t instigate anything yourself.

@FabulousMrFifty, is the question about someone having something on in bed ? Why would that necessarily prompt laughter? You’re going to have to be specific here.

Evening everyone, can I join? I have recently decided to dip my toe in OLD and joined tinder . I am naturally shy and An overthinker which makes it hard for me start or carry on conversations. Does any of you wise ladies have any tips for me .

Thank you

@FabulousMrFifty

That's just contextual isn't it?

I can be a bit giggly sometimes if I'm happy/nervous/giddy/drunk which can happen on dates.

Plus I like edgy teasing (and can take it)

So for example I did say to MrHedgehog "be careful with the dodgy people out there, oh wait with your broken nose you'll fit right in now" or told him "I wasn't listening to anything you said, I was looking at the cocktail menu".

(but in the context of him knowing he's a very very smart man, and people pay lots of money to hear his opinions and I don't think he would be in any doubt from my actions I'm physically attracted to him?).

If it's within the context of someone being disrespectful to your feelings/intentionally hurtful/you're feeling like shit afterwards then that's a wider issue? Only you know this really.

@FabulousMrFifty I wouldn’t think anything of my partner wearing something in bed. I often do myself, for comfort. Of course if it was a mankini or a unicorn onesie laughing would be a little irresistible

@FabulousMrFifty wouldn't think anything of
It either ❤️

@FabulousMrFifty
whats guffaw mean?

@Naimee87

Thanks spring so someone laughed at your your pyjamas then? @FabulousMrFifty or i'm a being naive here? I often keep my socks on! No complaints ever, well none to my face that is hahahah!

@Naimee87 a hearty belly laugh

@FabulousMrFifty I'd only laugh it they were novelty and clearly supposed to make me laugh... or if I was thinking those are CLEARLY not staying in for long, you just wasted your time putting them on 😅🤣 (my head is still in the gutter, sorry!)

Well, here is the thing, I don’t like sleeping in the buff, never have done, never will do, and I wear pj shorts all year round ( washed obviously..),
Anyhow Ms W took one look at my shorts ( no, not Reindeer pants.. ) and started laughing and saying “how am I supposed to get to the goods”..( and then took advantage of me, again 😄 )

Even now I still thinking about it, and I don’t generally dwell on anything, oh well, probably nothing

@FabulousMrFifty Is this in a relationship scenario or a hook up type thing? Either way I can't see why this would be funny so I wouldn't be laughing about it.

In a ltr I wouldn't pass any comment whatsoever; in a hook up situation it'd probably prompt a good natured "well you won't be needing those" comment.

Can I ask who you were in this situation? The one laughing or the one being laughed at?

[quote InABetterPlaceNow]@FabulousMrFifty I'd only laugh it they were novelty and clearly supposed to make me laugh... or if I was thinking those are CLEARLY not staying in for long, you just wasted your time putting them on 😅🤣 (my head is still in the gutter, sorry!)[/quote]
Hmmm.. think 💭 it may have been this, hopefully…

@FabulousMrFifty

TBF I'd probably say something like that (and I'd assume the guy was taking it as a compliment that I was "keen on him"?).

Are you wanting to slow things down a bit physically - that's a legitimate position to be in for a man? Maybe you could message and suggest just cuddling and chatting and dinner.

That's the issue with the "sex culture" in a way - I think it can be fun if you're feeling energetic and robust but also a lot of pressure

How's your stress/anxiety levels at the moment, overthinking/worrying about/ replaying incidents can be a sign you need to take care a bit more?

@FabulousMrFifty Sorry I think we cross posted there. If she had just laughed at you then I'd say she was being intentionally hurtful. The cheeky comment after though I think puts a different spin on things - it's something I could imagine saying myself (just without the bellowing laughter beforehand).

Saying that though, if it's made you feel uncomfortable (and it probably has done if you're still thinking about it now) then that's different

@FabulousMrFifty

Well, here is the thing, I don’t like sleeping in the buff, never have done, never will do, and I wear pj shorts all year round ( washed obviously..), Anyhow Ms W took one look at my shorts ( no, not Reindeer pants.. ) and started laughing and saying “how am I supposed to get to the goods”..( and then took advantage of me, again 😄 )

Even now I still thinking about it, and I don’t generally dwell on anything, oh well, probably nothing

Yup, this is definitely a comment / joke I'd make - I'd be mortified if I thought you thought I was laughing at you wearing PJs to bed! I wouldn't have any problem with you putting them back on after!!

I'd take this one as a "Hey, I'm not done with you yet!". Which ofc you'd be welcome to say, "Actually, can we just get some sleep?" and I'd also have no problem with it!

Just want to say ❤️❤️❤️ to everyone and thank you for yesterday and today.

Hopefully I'll get better and be able to go on dates again soon 😘😘

... and a big welcome to all the newbies ❤️