Dating Thread 220 - where we forget about pensions and get back to dating

[WeWantTheFinestWines]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

[quote SpringlikeBunk]@Naimee87

That does sound good - an emotional connection that very much works for you and brings you peace?

Especially if you’ve got your family set up that works for you practically it’s then having those “extra good vibes/feelings” without having to go through the hassle of blended lives.[/quote]
I thought you were off to the gym. Go! 🤣

@WeWantTheFinestWines
🤣🤣 I know the feeling

Took DD to get her ears pierced and added one in myself as per the photo. Now off to London for two quite promising date zeros. Have one date zero 22 Dec with an iron I haven't mentioned as quite frankly I'm drowning. I'll call him MrBoxing. Then 23 Dec with Mrchef mark 2. What the hell. I'll just see them all and then if they flake, who cares 🤷🏻‍♀️ they'll be someone else round the corner.

Oh the irony. How times have changed from one man Bella 20 years of flogging a dead horse. But he was handsome and rich my bastard ex and my DC are the best. So silver linings I guess?

@BelladiMamma
👍🏻 Hope all goes well

looks good @BelladiMamma

Surprised not to lose gym form after having The Cold, but "still got it"

One has flaked already! Luckily I had mates to catch up with in the area. Now off to the next one!

@SpringlikeBunk

looks good *@BelladiMamma*

Surprised not to lose gym form after having The Cold, but "still got it"

Strong 💪🏿 effort spring. Well done 👍🏻

@Shayelle2009 Sorry was all over the place today, then my phone died! I think you're right, he does care! He was never married. He's got a daughter whose in her 20's and her mum was his only real long term relationship. She cheated on him with his best friend. He forgave her and they did try to make things work but ultimately they failed the trust was gone. He really does keep himself to himself. But with me he actually 'opens up' and i get the feeling he likes who he is when he is around me. I know he's really really close with his mum. They text daily and he lives with her and his uncle and their two (elderly) pugs. He's close with his daughter too who is absolutely beautiful! He thinks before he acts and i act before i think. We do have a ton(truck joke) of obstacles to navigate and i honestly don't know if we've any kind of future but i know he's a really decent man. That was a very me me me post, how are you? Hope you're feeling OK after your trip to France, have your family always lived there?

I look surprisingly good after overwork and stress and illness @BelladiMamma!

I've swapped my tea and coffee intake for hot squash and it really is making a significant difference to my skin - I don't think I'll ever be a water drinker so this is a nice compromise I can keep up with.

Well I survived the pantomime, the guy sat next to me was quite cute shame he was with his wife.🙈 otherwise I could have had a little bit of eye candy to chat too.

Went out with MrBeard last night and met a couple of friends - very nerve wracking! Hopefully I didn’t screw up. He wants me to meet more of them, eek.

Today he referred to me as his girlfriend and we had a little chat about calling each other girlfriend/boyfriend and being in a relationship. So I guess it’s going well! Feeling very lucky. Who knows if it will work long term but trying to take each day as it comes for now.

Do we think MrBet flaking with 15 minutes to do is a block and delete offence? He'd sort of flagged it but still ...

Ouch, sorry to hear that @BelladiMamma. I would delete but not block necessarily, given the flag. Blocking indicates to them that they’ve got under your skin, which personally I never wanted to show them.

@BelladiMamma

For me a short-notice cancellation (unless you’ve clearly agreed it’s a “loose arrangement” as you’re both in the area for other reasons) is the same as being stood up, as most people know you’re going to have got ready to go/travelled out by then?

Disclaimer: I’m probably on the uptight end of the spectrum! But I guess I feel a first meet is where someone should aim to be polite with turning up on time etc?

2nd date zero is late but has kept in touch.

Yes, I did say I was with friends first but it was a definite meet. He just flagged he was dog sitting for a friend. I've not bothered answering his 'when are you next around' as that sounds flaky on his part too. Eg no attempt to fix a date.

I did have an amazing catch up with my friends and we have made lots of other plans to catch up together. They're such brilliant mates, always put a smile on my face.

@BelladiMamma i LOVE your new piercing! Looks pretty 🤩

[quote Shayelle2009]@BelladiMamma i LOVE your new piercing! Looks pretty 🤩[/quote]
Thank you 🥰 I just thought what the hell, let's do this!

I loved reading your post @Naimee87 dont say sorry, I asked 😬 the more you say about him the nicer I think he sounds. Why do you feel like there nay not be a future? Is it the distance? Is he soneone you could see yourself with? Does sound like hes more of a slow burner but the thing is with that kind of man his feelings would just get deeper over time. He does sound really lovely you know 🙂 and you seem like an amazing lady so I bet he is sound as a pound or you wouldn’t be this into him 🙂hope you don’t mind me asking and stuff.. I’m just interested.. I like knowing people and feelings.. and life 🥰

@BelladiMamma why the fuck not 😀

Oh and @Naimee87 no my dad and his wife moved out there a number of years ago. But they are planning to move back now. It will be lovely to have them nearer. But ive always felt like a bit of an outsider looking in, as her son is the golden child and I’m just the little shit 🤣 which used to upset me, but now I'm older im pretty cool with everything really. I’ve got myself, and that's what matters!

@Shayelle2009 No no i'm a really open-book, i don't mind you asking! Sometimes writing down things helps for me to put things in perspective too. I've no idea what i really want for my future anymore. I'd like him in it. But this would mean drastic changes on both sides which neither of us can make at the moment. He's also really concerned about our age difference, not a big deal to me but he seem's scared i'll run off with someone my own age. Cannot think of anything worse than men in their 30's. The ones i met are either proper player-bachelor's that claim their ready to settle down until they've had their fun or their still raging-party animals and pretty much 20yr olds but wrinklier and with thinning hair! Haha!

@Shayelle2009 No way are you a little shit! Never think that. Although having said that it'd be my role in my family! Very deviant, mad partier and now loooong time single parent(with school issues)! Now looking to change a stable office job with excellent benefits and pay to be a truck driver! My poor parents

I saw my iron from last night again today, we went for some food and then he came back to mine and we watched a movie. Its been the kind of weekend I needed. This is what I have missed being single.

I've sent him home now as I'm not going to rush this one too much. We said we would do something on the weekend.

How did second date zero go @BelladiMamma?

😊

Was definitely overthinking it all.

Was interrupted a few times by a million phone calls from my kids, plus me getting in my head more than a few times but gaps were filled in by chats and laughs and fun. I like this one.

Also met his Mum*

• I knew this was likely - She's in her 70s and needs caring for so lives with him. She asked me if I'm sure I want to put up with him. I said I'm still thinking about it 😂