Dating Thread 220 - where we forget about pensions and get back to dating

[WeWantTheFinestWines]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

@SortingItOut all very family friendly, we went to winter wonderland then wandered around Mayfair and the like and then stopped for dinner. A lovely day!

@Dazedandconfused10 That sounds great, was the plan always to do all that or was it just going so well you did extra bits?

MrTesco has come back with the suggestion of a meet where we just hang out a bit 🤔 and don’t do anything too strenuous.

It’s like when your manager at work doesn’t let you text in with a sick excuse and has a conversation with you.

@Naimee87 would have LOVED to meet you for a bottle of champs before I headed back. Maybe one day we will 😁
@MizK it actually dents my ego! I get more attention IRL than I do on the apps, which tend to end up making me feel a bit worthless! I feel a lot more valuable when I avoid.

@Eesha that’s so lovely!! Bet you have stubble rash on the chin later 😅

@SortingItOut winter wonderland was planned then it would appear we just didn't want the day to end.

@SpringlikeBunk block and delete is your friend here!

@Dazedandconfused10 that sounds like the perfect date, id love to go on a date like that 🥰🥰

@SpringlikeBunk

MrTesco has come back with the suggestion of a meet where we just hang out a bit 🤔 and don’t do anything too strenuous.

It’s like when your manager at work doesn’t let you text in with a sick excuse and has a conversation with you.

I hear that but I'm also inclined to think that he's being more open to having a chilled situation than you thought?

@SortingItOut Lovely to hear from
you! I think you're right. Me asking is almost telling him what answer i want! Yep he lives in Italy so across the border and about 4hrs drive. He's visited once before a while ago... but he's pretty much on the road all week with two or three overnights in his truck either in Switzerland or Italy. Usually one sometimes we got lucky and two overnights are in cities near me so i get to go find him. But sometimes we do go a few weeks in between seeing each other if his routes are rubbish. I've spent a few whole nights with him but it's dangerous because we don't really sleep and he's got a full days driving the next day. And that arrangement only
works when my DS is at a sleepover or my parents are here and think i'm out with friends (mwahahahahah) He does usually come through on his promises but it does take a while. His weekends are precious he see's friends/family and his daughter. And mine are planned around my DS unless. Having my place to myself is really rare. We don't have relatives close as they are all in the UK and my parents/sister are about an 1.5hrs drive away. He know's i want a few days together but i'm actually thinking NewYear will be much easier on us both. As long as he is in contact i really like our arrangement and so far he's been amazing! But i can't forget he did 'disappear' for a good few weeks on me and i don't want to be stealthily moved into Fuck-Buddy territory. I'd have to find another trucker if that began to happen, maybe one whose base is here... but can't see that happening and not at all interested in seeing anyone/sleeping with anyone else. I kind of am addicted to the whole game we play! So much Anticipation, excitement, finding him, amazing sex... proper escape from my life as a very chaotic, working, single mum!

@Shayelle2009 that's how I felt about it too. I kept wondering what an earth was wrong with me why do I only ever attract weirdos if I attract anyone.

@SpringlikeBunk hang out a bit 🤔 and don’t do anything too strenuous

Is that code for 'I'm happy with a blow job'?
Or am I too cynical?

Yeah… being horizontal isn’t strenuous 🙄😵‍💫

@BelladiMamma

Yes, inclined to suggest we check in next week (when deadlines are met) and see how things pan out then.

It's so hard to tell really early on and so many nuances and we're all kind of flawed.

Even though MrHedgehog is nominally my favourite, he was still keeping up meeting and dating formally even though he knew he was moving away for sure (and wouldn't have let me know until I got a bit "wtf"?).

Then again, another meeting means "more commitment" and it's harder to back out the more meetings you have?

Yeh @SortingItOut and @Shayelle2009 it just sounds a bit too complicated (and let's face it if I can get a meet in with MrHedgehog I'm going to 100% prioritise that and cancel anything else?) so I might just leave it.

I've unBumbled but have lots of nice coffee meets etc booked in with new people I'm meeting through work so I'm not going to be short of company anyway.

@Naimee87 when he disappeared… do you know why? Did he have some stuff going on in his life? Or was he just being a guy and let things slip a bit?

@SpringlikeBunk do you think you might be giving mixed signals to hedgehog? I can imagine you're pretty good at playing it cool (not in a false way but you naturally highly independent and un-needy), he may be wondering if you are that interested in him as he knows you're still going on other dates and stuff and has no idea you like him a lot?

(I think part of me was probably wanting a random fling to stop myself getting too upset over MrHedgehog leaving but I'll just have to cry it out when it does happen!).

Apart from the disappearing act @Naimee87 I think that setup sounds perfect - an exciting, thrilling distraction from real life with a decent human being - so long as feelings don’t build up.

Its ok @SpringlikeBunk you recognise it, you’ve got to follow your heart, which you’re doing.. no harm done 💗

@SpringlikeBunk

(I think part of me was probably wanting a random fling to stop myself getting too upset over MrHedgehog leaving but I'll just have to cry it out when it does happen!).

I found myself having a big cry this morning. Probably because I'm home alone and upset about a multitude of things. Plus mid cycle. Big snotty crying fest together!!

@Shayelle2009 and @BelladiMamma

It is tough! I'll focus on self-care and work for next few days as snowed under anyway, and hopefully we can have a "proper closure FTF meet" before he goes.

Crying is good, it lets the boo-hoos out. Big hug though @BelladiMamma

Hugs to @BelladiMamma and @SpringlikeBunk today… sorry you aee not feeling super bright.. sending you some nice vibes to make you feel better ❤️❤️❤️ It’s cos we are nice people that we hurt sometimes! We will all be ok 💝💝