Dating Thread 220 - where we forget about pensions and get back to dating

[WeWantTheFinestWines]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

You’re not causing problems at all @SpringlikeBunk, Saturday doesn’t work for you and is quite a full on night to go for a date, I think Sunday afternoon is much nicer. Nothing wrong with being wary.

Shagged in the forest once. That was really cool actually. I love nature 😅

Ahh, many years ago... pub pool table, tennis courts, car bonnet, forest floor....

Think those days are behind me!! 😂 Will be in what looks like quite a cozy bedroom tomorrow - not sure if I'm scared or excited 😅

Yes Saturday night seems too "intense" @Shayelle2009

I do think sometimes I'm a bit "avoidant" as in I like my long distance men (then I don't have to shift my introverted arse too much).

But I'm generally 100% reliable and communicate/make time for people - I just don't like being pushed into doing things against my own schedule?

@InABetterPlaceNow

Ahh, many years ago... pub pool table, tennis courts, car bonnet, forest floor....

Think those days are behind me!! 😂 Will be in what looks like quite a cozy bedroom tomorrow - not sure if I'm scared or excited 😅

Well, I have the same (bedroom) , and I’m excited for the weekend..

I’d be the same Spring, trying to ‘herd’ me into a day I don’t feel like would just put me off.

Yes it's just annoying @Shayelle2009 - pushiness is not a compliment it just pisses me off.

(but then again when MrHedgehog suggested an earlier time to meet than I wanted I was like "ooh of course, I'll make time").

So I'm mindful this is my own "one-itis" working here a bit, and I do need to slowly open up to others/

One-itis definition

(slang) Attraction towards a single potential partner to the exclusion of other possible partners.

Hope you have a great time @FabulousMrFifty ! I'm sure I'll be fine once I'm there, just been bloody ages. Hopefully I remember how it all works 😅

@SpringlikeBunk

(He's dead attractive - I'm just more in a place where I want to pace things a bit, and I'm just not accepting the "sex people" guys who show no interest unless "the likely sex date" is offered early on?

One thing I did (do) like about MrHedgehog was he was (is) great in bed but not pushy at all and asks about fifty times if he's putting too much pressure on, before displaying a lot of technical competency).

So German 😊

@Shayelle2009

Shagged in the forest once. That was really cool actually. I love nature 😅

Oooh me too we were both very drunk and it was on our route home from a party that we were staggering home from ...

@InABetterPlaceNow @FabulousMrFifty have amazing hot dates tomorrow!

LOL @BelladiMamma seriously I'm never going to look at a guy who wears a beige Mountain Warehouse fleece to a fairly trendy restaurant the same way again.

Shall I just tell him I have very strong feelings for him (whilst also recognising the impracticality of the situation) before he goes?

@SpringlikeBunk

Shall I just tell him I have very strong feelings for him (whilst also recognising the impracticality of the situation) before he goes?

Hmmm. What's the next trip for and to and for how long ...? I kinda did that with MrA and at least it means I'm not seriously entertaining any LDR hopes as he was just so flummoxed by the whole 'I like you enough to make an effort - what about you?'

So, it could burst the Igel bubble or it could plunge you into the horror of actually making yourself available and then the effort of trying to fit in times to see him and wondering where he is and sexting and naked video calls and aaaargh ... feelings ...

As you can see, I'm not sure 😁

@BelladiMamma

There is no Igel bubble sadly

he's actively pursuing applications abroad and I know this, not going to offer him advice or wish him luck or "overfunction" so just letting things pan out as they will, and back on the apps?

Not sure about the sexting etc.

Neither of us are big messagers - I sent him a message before I went away telling him to let me know if he fancied "£$$£%$£$£" or the Xmas markets when I got back.

Guess which suggestion he picked up on and mentioned and suggested doing?

(I think if he got into sexting he'd feel he had to bring me an engagement ring next time we met )

@SpringlikeBunk 😁 yes I get it, I was just sketching out the horror of a LDR. But, what would you hope to achieve from telling him. There's nothing saying you shouldn't or can't. Sometimes telling the truth is very liberating, on many levels

Aye, I'm just letting off thoughts really thanks @BelladiMamma

I expect it's just a case of wait and see if there's even time to meet much before he goes, and one day at a time.

It was great when he came over last, but it was very intense and would like to have a more "chilled out meet" really just because I want to.

@SpringlikeBunk

It was great when he came over last, but it was very intense and would like to have a more "chilled out meet" really just because I want to.

Do you have any thing planned?

No he's interviewing somewhere else and does consultancy away so not in town this week and possibly next, sent a quick message updating.

Prefer to just let things pan out as they will rather than coming up with suggestions/over-functioning?

I know how challenging/mental these interviews can be so I'm not going to try to get myself into his headspace right now.

@SpringlikeBunk

No he's interviewing somewhere else and does consultancy away so not in town this week and possibly next, sent a quick message updating.

Prefer to just let things pan out as they will rather than coming up with suggestions/over-functioning?

I know how challenging/mental these interviews can be so I'm not going to try to get myself into his headspace right now.

Do you think you have strong feelings for him? Would it be helpful to get them out of your head?