Dating Thread 220 - where we forget about pensions and get back to dating

[WeWantTheFinestWines]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

Still snowed under (and it is snowing out there too, really pretty) but not managed to have a good read through yet!

@Heartbeats0708 i'm so sure you did wish me goodluck . I'm thinking about what you and sortingitout have said about going a while between getting to see MrD and MrK and 'losing interest.' I know i'm overinvested in magnet-man more than i should be but i really can't help it at this stage. But i'm wondering if i mention it to him that i miss him when we don't get to see each other because i'm curious to hear if he feels the same as you both do or whether he misses me too and get's more excited for when we'll next see each other. I suppose i'm not sure what i hope to gain though... likely he'll tell me what i want to hear. He is always very honest though. What do you think is it worth asking?
@MayEye it's not easy trying to keep your kids happy and 'indulge' in a little happiness of your own sometimes especially when they 'conflict with one another.' But the positive energy you will be able to bring to your family after seeing MrL(i think, sorry if i've mixed the name) is a huge positive. I know my parenting skills are being massively investigated by the school at the moment which is so worrying. But after my trips to find magnet-man i do feel a sense of calm and like a reset button has been hit (hahaaa) and i'm able to face these complicated issues more level-headed. Every adult needs a place to go or a person to see that makes you feel like you're 'OK' and doing your best. I love the sound of the shopping trip. I kitted my DS out with his winter clothes last weekend, his favourite outfit was a pair of matching 'gangsta-tiktok' trackies! Funny! He looked like a marshmellow!

@BelladiMamma not yet I will do some digging when I see him(we were talking on Tuesday about next week if he feels up to it and can wash). I don't really want to ask him in a message unless I don't see him until the New Year in which case I will. Even when he asked me to help him 'wash' he mentioned his Mum but not the girlfriend. When I messaged him last week cancelling I said next week you can tell me all about your new relationship and he didn't even say anything, he talked about work instead.

@SpringlikeBunk

starting the day with a song for all us thwarted lovers out there...

Oooh Chris Pratt in the morning😁

@Isitreallyme177

...or afternoon, or evening, or any time

@FabulousMrFifty, rant away , getting things off your chest really helps sometimes. And I imagine some of the frustration is actually that it was her actions that have put you in this position. Having been on the receiving end of someone totally ignoring me I would probably opt for one simple reply that said this is the last response you will get, give her a couple of succinct reasons why you chose to end things and say you won't be in touch again. I don't know if she 'deserves' this message, from memory she was difficult to pin down to see rather than having done something unacceptable. Obviously we are supportive of each other on here but there have been occasions where we have sympathised greatly with those being ghosted but the next day told someone to do the same to one of their irons.

@SpringlikeBunk
Yep situation sounds the same as mr military, everytime we failed to meet, she was the one who had to pull out for some reason, But somehow that’s now my fault…as apparently, “I wasn’t ‘flexible’ enough and I need to think about that for future relationships”. F’in ‘ell,
Almost lobbed my iPad across the room when that little meggage arrived yesterday, fortunately I really like my iPad, so didn’t do that.
Cheek of the woman!

Thanks for the offer but I can’t stick Hot Chocolate and any drink with the Xmas in front is a big No from me.

How I feel today

Fav ever song

Bollocks.

And where did 250 + posts suddenly come from?

And which one is Chris Pratt, (that can’t be his real name, )

@FabulousMrFifty I agree with @Onesmallstep67, just spell it out in one last message clearly about you being keen at one point but she wasn't available enough for you so you moved in.

@BelladiMamma I guess in a horrible way Mr A doesn't care enough to make more of an effort. It might just be an actor thing though but we all deserve someone who will make an effort with us.

@Isitreallyme177 so essentially sounds like he has split with gf (will no doubt tell you she was too intense etc) and wants some female attention from someone. He knows you like him so you are an option. But honestly keep your other options open as you risk putting all your eggs again into one basket.

@Shayelle2009 welcome home Missy

[quote FabulousMrFifty]@SpringlikeBunk
Yep situation sounds the same as mr military, everytime we failed to meet, she was the one who had to pull out for some reason, But somehow that’s now my fault…as apparently, “I wasn’t ‘flexible’ enough and I need to think about that for future relationships”. F’in ‘ell,
Almost lobbed my iPad across the room when that little meggage arrived yesterday, fortunately I really like my iPad, so didn’t do that.
Cheek of the woman!

Thanks for the offer but I can’t stick Hot Chocolate and any drink with the Xmas in front is a big No from me.

How I feel today

Fav ever song

Bollocks.[/quote]
Ugh that mentality is so all over the place and unhelpful. Agree with the final goodbye message

[quote Eesha]**@FabulousMrFifty* I agree with @Onesmallstep67*, just spell it out in one last message clearly about you being keen at one point but she wasn't available enough for you so you moved in.

@BelladiMamma I guess in a horrible way Mr A doesn't care enough to make more of an effort. It might just be an actor thing though but we all deserve someone who will make an effort with us.

@Isitreallyme177 so essentially sounds like he has split with gf (will no doubt tell you she was too intense etc) and wants some female attention from someone. He knows you like him so you are an option. But honestly keep your other options open as you risk putting all your eggs again into one basket.

@Shayelle2009 welcome home Missy [/quote]
That's absolutely it. I'm going to keep the chat and not delete it so that I can see just how bloody uninterested he is as we go from full on flirtatious 'remember when' to the sound of a needle being yanked across some vinyl as he says 'travel to you? Nah'. He doesn't even say, 'so sorry I've got so much going on with DC / work but I'd love to do xyz instead'.

I know it's an actor-y thing though, they travel so much when they have work and then when they don't they want to be close to the possibility of work and he has his own home studio for self tapes and voiceover work. But we all have constraints and if someone isn't even willing to suggest an alternative then what's the bloody point 🤷🏻‍♀️

@BelladiMamma well i'm still waiting on magnet-man to let me know when he's free to see me for a few days, he's not mentioned anything yet and i really don't want to bring it up. We're already in december and i know he's doing this 'mock-military' thing this weekend so it'll be a no-go. I had hoped i'd have at least been give a 'rough' idea, but nothing yet. Doesn't feel great as it makes me think he isn't as keen. He's promised it'll happen but so far these are just really really nice words to hear!

[quote Naimee87]@BelladiMamma well i'm still waiting on magnet-man to let me know when he's free to see me for a few days, he's not mentioned anything yet and i really don't want to bring it up. We're already in december and i know he's doing this 'mock-military' thing this weekend so it'll be a no-go. I had hoped i'd have at least been give a 'rough' idea, but nothing yet. Doesn't feel great as it makes me think he isn't as keen. He's promised it'll happen but so far these are just really really nice words to hear![/quote]
It seems like he does travel at least to see you though! I mean he literally drives a truck to meet you 😁

And I love what you said about everyone needing their own special place and time ❤️ that's lovely and so true!!

@BelladiMamma @Onesmallstep67 @Eesha

Thanks, I was just having a little fit of pique there, I’m generally quite relaxed 😌

@belladiMamma, that’s all sounds a bit crap with mr A , sorry to hear that.
As a contrast I’m off after work to see Ms Wales & we are meeting in the middle due to the distance, so we both making an effort

@Eesha think he's after sympathy this week 🤣. It all feels a bit weird if I'm honest, the past two weeks he has been so much more like the old Mr Cricket, before he went away (basically all of November) he was so distant.

@Eesha thanks! He's like he was back when we first started whatever it is that we're doing. And stepped up which is amazing but like i just posted i really want a few days together and so far he's only promised they'll happen. I don't want to ask again...i just want them to happen. In all honesty i'm not sure when we'd fit these days in given work is so busy and i'm way to busy procrastinating to actually get anything done. Then my DS is here with me full time as well. So logistically there is a lot to consider... but if you want something enough you do usually manage to make it happen. I wouldn't even mind too much if it was in the NewYear, just a rough time-frame would be so nice! How's things with MrMusic? Is it the wedding event this weekend... so nice you seem to have met a 'good' one. With little kids i can only imagine how much harder everything is to juggle!

@Isitreallyme177 so essentially he dropped you when he found someone then picked you up when that ended. Its a bit cliche right? Are you emotionally OK with this? I would honestly find other irons/distractions as he will no doubt drop you again once another iron comes through for him. I think he's another bozo.

@Naimee87 I really feel for you with the stressful school stuff currently going on. You really don't need it but I'm glad Magnet Man is proving he's a goodun.

Today is date 2 and we have probably chatted for 4hrs plus every night since date 1 2 weeks and ago and have struggled a bit with this time apart. I can't wait, the sun is shining and I'm feeling sexy so hoping this translates to how I look. I've picked a very sexy cutaway dress ....

Wedding stuff is all weekend but he's joining me Sunday to meet my best friend (the bride). I'm keen to see how he will be....

So lovely to be back! And thank you all for my nice messages 🥰 felt a bit lost yesterday on the journey home because I already miss them so much. My dad is quite frail thanks for asking @Isitreallyme177 and we always get choked up saying goodbye 💔 he’s always been my little rock in life and I miss him so much! IsIt cant wait to hear what your tree is like.

Hey @BelladiMamma if youre flying into Stanstead I HIGHLY recommend Randox. Absolutely amazing pcr service. I had an appt booked yesterday afternoon but they let me do it early as I was running to time. I had negative certificate at 8am this morning and could go and collect my kitty. Absolutely fantastic. PLEASE avoid ‘Covid Travel Clinics’ in Huddersfield- absolute scam of a company who take your money and dont send out tests 😡

@SpringlikeBunk feel sad about MrHedghog really, it sounded like it could have been nice with him but sounds like life circumstances for him will get in the way.. hopefully MrTesco will be a fun little distraction! Hope you’re ok 💗 Christmas is a funny old time isn’t it, think i’ll be on my tod on it so we can get through it together!

@FabulousMrFifty dont let that MsBusiness back in - she’s causing you yet more stress and angst! Whats happened to MissWales?

Thanks @Eesha lovely! You excited about tonight? Hope it’s a splendid romantic time 🥰🥰

@Eesha I will see how things are when I see him and what the story is with the GF, he's still firmly on my friend bench at this moment in time.

Aww @Shayelle2009 I'm sorry about your Dad, are you going to see him again soon?

I have been wondering if I should take another look on the apps. But I just can't bring myself to do it as I’m not in a bad place emotionally and just don’t want anyone puncturing my good vibes at the mo! Would be amazing to meet soneone great but I just can’t face the CRAPPS. 😣

Thanks @Isitreallyme177 they’re meant to be over at Christmas (not seeing me) so hope to see them before they go back 💗
How’s Angel doing??

@Shayelle2009 I am reclaiming my study this weekend and he can eat in the kitchen with Lucy. He has settled in perfectly although the first night he slept on the bed (Wednesday) he took Lucy's spot and she spent the night on me and last night he did the smelliest shit possible and the smell woke me up, there I was at 4am cleaning out the litter tray!🤦‍♀️

As for the apps I'm not going back on them. I can't do it to myself so I won't force it, if someone comes along then great.

I hope you get to see them before they go back it is so unpredictable at the moment though.

Haha poor you @Isitreallyme177!!! Men and their smelly poos 🤣🤣🤣

With you there Isit!! We will live our lives in a nun like fashion together 🤣