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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Falling for a married man

119 replies

PeelFrog · 06/12/2021 20:48

Been single for a few years now after end of 23yr marriage. Been chatting to a guy for almost 3 years, found out he was married about a year ago so tried to back off. But I'm absolutely infatuated with him, he's the most perfect guy, huge turn on, recently started to meet and the inevitable happened.... he says his marriage is on the rocks, says its his fault, he cannot stop thinking about me. I feel the same. I know it's not going to end well, I just cannot stop thinking about him and cannot wait to see him, we've been meeting about once a month, until now, seen him twice this week and seeing him again tomorrow. He says he can't get enough of me, I feel the same

OP posts:
Mummaganoush · 06/12/2021 20:48

Pull the other one its got bells on

Yogaandcocoa · 06/12/2021 20:49

@Mummaganoush

Pull the other one its got bells on
What do you mean?
Lux523 · 06/12/2021 20:50

I dropped my toe nail clippings, has anyone seen them?

Yogaandcocoa · 06/12/2021 20:50

Do you have a question OP or do you just want Mumsnet to tell you to stop it?

Blue4YOU · 06/12/2021 20:50

Yep. This happened

wtfisthatspiderdoing · 06/12/2021 20:51

His marriage is on the rocks but you've been chatting for 3 years, the first 2 of those he didn't even mention he was married? You are a fool and he is a lying cheating arsehole.

WandaVision2 · 06/12/2021 20:52
Confused
LizzieSiddal · 06/12/2021 20:53

Crack on. He’s a liar and a cheat and you seem to suit each other.

Didimum · 06/12/2021 20:54

The most perfect guy is a guy who cheats on his wife for 3yrs? OK. What a sad day for humanity this is.

Sunshinesky1981 · 06/12/2021 20:56

Seriously ??? Do you honestly believe that if he truly couldn't get enough of you he would still be spending 98% of his evenings slipping into bed with his wife rather than you?

DoctorManhattan · 06/12/2021 20:56

“Marriage on the rocks”.

There’s a line I would say no married man having an affair has ever, ever used . . . .

Waken up and smell the roses OP, threads like this are almost cliched now such is the obvious pattern.

Now - His marriage is on the rocks
Next - he’s getting things together to leave
Then - he’s ready to leave but his wife has a sudden illness or something and the time just isn’t right
Followed by - look, this has been fun, but I’ve decided to make another go of it with my wife - cheerio

NeedsCharging · 06/12/2021 20:57

What do you want want this post?

Hes married. He will give them 98% of his time you get 2% if your lucky.
He won't leave. He has his cake. Stop bring a doormat.

Wokahontas · 06/12/2021 21:00

You are massively naive OP and he is not a perfect man. He is lying to his wife and he is lying to and using you, probably others too.

He is a lying scumbag.

Marineboy67 · 06/12/2021 21:00

The Old chestnut 'his marriage is on the rocks' easing his and your conscience. What's your point? where's your question? Your having sex with a married man are you looking for approval and understanding?

Sunshinesky1981 · 06/12/2021 21:04

And also OP, of all the people I have ever known to have affairs, the only ones who walked away from their marriages did it within the first 6 months , all the rest stayed with their wife/husband

wtfisthatspiderdoing · 06/12/2021 21:05

Aaah silly me posting too soon. Op is just getting off on outraging posters. It's a school night op. Go to bed.

Libertaire · 06/12/2021 21:08

Go for it, OP. You only live once, so you may as well enjoy it.

His marriage vows are his problem, not yours. His wife isn’t your friend and you don’t owe her anything so crack on & have fun.

ItsMeantToBe · 06/12/2021 21:14

You are ruining his wife and family's life. Your husband cheating on you is something that mentally effects you for the rest of your life. He's not perfect, he's a cheating pig.

ItsMeantToBe · 06/12/2021 21:16

@Libertaire

Go for it, OP. You only live once, so you may as well enjoy it.

His marriage vows are his problem, not yours. His wife isn’t your friend and you don’t owe her anything so crack on & have fun.

🙄
Original poster
PeelFrog · 06/12/2021 21:19

My Husband cheated on me after 20 years of marriage, I know what it does. But I cannot help how I feel. I've never had butterflies or been so excited about meeting someone before. My ex was only my 3rd relationship ever. He's in touch with me everyday, tells me I'm beautiful, says he can't stop thinking about me can't wait to be with me. I've never had that with anyone I'm nearly 52, I think this is the first time I've felt like this about anyone, I'm not getting any younger, I know it's wrong but I just feel alive when I'm with him

OP posts:
Double3xposure · 06/12/2021 21:22

I don’t think I’ve ever read so many clichés in one post.

Offside · 06/12/2021 21:22

Someone who cheats on his wife is not ‘perfect’ OP. I suggest you probably need to work on your self esteem and improve your expectations. It seems your ex cheating on you has, unsurprisingly, impacted your self worth.

Offside · 06/12/2021 21:23

@PeelFrog

My Husband cheated on me after 20 years of marriage, I know what it does. But I cannot help how I feel. I've never had butterflies or been so excited about meeting someone before. My ex was only my 3rd relationship ever. He's in touch with me everyday, tells me I'm beautiful, says he can't stop thinking about me can't wait to be with me. I've never had that with anyone I'm nearly 52, I think this is the first time I've felt like this about anyone, I'm not getting any younger, I know it's wrong but I just feel alive when I'm with him
And this is probably what your exH said to his affair partner.
Tiredofbs123 · 06/12/2021 21:25

The cliches are strong with this one.,,

DeliaOwens · 06/12/2021 21:25

You are an easy target.

You are permitting and taking part in these bad behaviours. Do you think he is going to have a conscience transplant if he leaves his wife and kids?

Don't expect his 'Rocky' relationship to end and for him to dash in to commit to you.
He is a liar (so are you- even if you are just lying to yourself) and a cheat.

If he does leave her for you...you will always carry doubt and have a little voice in the back of your head.

Give him up. Turn around and don't look back,
Get a bit of self esteem and realise, you are no one's bit on the side!

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