Well as the title states, I'm not yet ready.
My little one was completely unplanned the pregnancy was not what I wanted at that time in my life, we were newly married, I was 20, and I wasn't ready but love children and my husband absolutely adores them, so I grew to accept it and ended up enjoying my pregnancy. We both had issues during my pregnancy, he cheated on me, he was talking to other girls online, which took me a long time to forgive and then did it again.. makes me sound like a mug but I loved him and still do, I went for counselling and got through it with him.
For the last year or so (since my little one was around 10 months old) I've been feeling 'pressure' to put it lightly from my husband to TTC. I put it off and made it clear I wasn't ready, I had the nexplanon implant put in which was a nightmare. I had that in from September of 2020 to Feb of this year.
I've told him my reasons being I'm worried he will cheat like he did when I was pregnant the first time and he continues to show he's so sorry about his mistakes. I've told him the recovery after birth was horrible (it really was, a ventouse delivery with a huge episiotomy that broke down) he's reassuring to me that he will help me (he did after my first birth too) but the reality is, I just don't feel ready. I keep saying it's my body, it's my choice. But to me it seems he just wants to have the baby in summer so he can have his time off work and have a nice paternity leave with us, his reasons are genuine but I can't imagine being heavily pregnant about to pop in summer!!! I just don't want that.
He wants to TTC this month (dec) so baby would be born august/sept. But I've made it clear I don't want that, he went quiet, he was upset. He's reacted quite badly before, not respectful of my boundaries, and I know some people out there would love a partner who wants another child so badly but it's almost suffocating he keeps bringing it up everyday he jokes about it, he tries to push it on me so much and it's such a turn off. I've told him this too but he continues to do it. Maybe he thinks it will persuade me?
Idk anyone else really who has a problem like
Mine? I would like to ttc from Feb to have a baby in November of 2022 or anytime after that. To me that feels like a gap between the two I could deal with.
Idk why it's upsetting me, maybe I'm the one in the wrong here? I'd just like some advice really..
forgot to mention I'm 22 now.