Dating Thread 218: The one where we're respectfully selfish

[WeWantTheFinestWines]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

@BelladiMamma
Your mind is in 'what if mode' don't over think

@SpringlikeBunk

Dating advice now is democratic surreal post modernist *@FabulousMrFifty*

as opposed to the advice gems of yesterday. (I might try some myself).

Well, that’s just brilliant I really like ‘make a lot of money’, You could have a dress made of tenner’s, bound to get you some attention

just popping in to mark my place, I need to catch up on the thread

"Well, that’s just brilliant
I really like ‘make a lot of money’,
You could have a dress made of tenner’s, bound to get you some attention"

@FabulousMrFifty

Yeh tried that still single

I'm going to start carrying a hat box.

I'd missed the second page. 'Men don't like girls who are ill'. 🤣🤣🤣

I’m going to practice drinking by drinking

Next time I see a girl stumble as she enters a room, I know what that really means.. 😂

[quote StartingAgain6369]@BelladiMamma
Your mind is in 'what if mode' don't over think[/quote]
Thank you, it's true

@MizK

Checking in! I've only really got MrTeacher ongoing - the third date ended up being absolutely more physical than I'd expected! Not slept together yet but a nice time was had...I don't think we're that compatible in many ways but the chemistry is certainly there so will enjoy his company for as long as it lasts. Chatting to one other on bumble but finding time for a date with him is going to be tricky. MrTattoo still around as a friend but there's the odd thing that makes me wonder if he sees me as more. I'm keeping an eye as I basically don't want to be like Mr Cricket and others who end up hurting people. I like MrTattoo so much, never want to make him feel bad. *@OnwardsEverStridingOnwards* sorry to hear things aren't great right now, but good news if someone who makes you happy is around. *@BellaDiMamma* has MrA responded? How are you feeling about him now? *@PurpleStripyScarf* sounds ideal, no pressure and just the nice bits of being with someone without pressure. I think that's the dream for many of us! Hello to everybody else and have happy Fridays!

@MizK thanks. 🥰 Am suffering with really bad body pain (especially in my hands) I'm a student who has to type a lot of assignments, so it's been a bit of a nightmare.

@MizK I'm attracted to teachers very much as well. ❤️

The good news is that I've got my level 3 CIPD certificate in HR practice now, and I'm now an associate member of the CIPD 🙂❤️

Congratulations @OnwardsEverStridingOnwards 🤩 that's a good way to ease into Christmas 🎄

Have switched off FB and Instagram so that I don't have to be tortured by MrA's lovely face on my feed. I managed not to contact him at all yesterday after our work related exchange. If the work thing comes off I will be absolutely on cloud 9. But I'll probably be on the parenting boards trying to deal with my guilt!!!

After my wierd Feeld incident I had a lovely evening chatting filth to BeardFlake who thinks he's keen to try things again.

We'll see - but @Naimee87 I'll keep you up to speed with my magnet man! As the feelings you describe are exactly why I had to step away from MrA. I just couldn't go there with him as he represents too great a potential loss to me, if you see what I mean. Not sure BeardFlake represents the same 'aspirationally' to me but his personality is right up my alley. I just love sad alpha males who need me to cheer them up.

In other news the bastard mice 🐁 have got into my cereal cupboard and my porridge was full of MDF cut offs from their nibbling through the bloody unit. Have asked my local handyman to put a vent over the entrance points

@BelladiMamma yep i'm in a dodgy situation here! Not ready to walk away but not entirely sure keeping what's going on will serve me well in the future. I just really don't want anyone else and love having sex with him in his truck at random rest-stops. Not sure if i'll find this 'very romantic set-up' 😂 so easily, and i'm
really not keen on anyone else or on the apps. Are you still in touch with MrA? Not easy walking away from something you don't want to...

@OnwardsEverStridingOnwards that's tremendous news! I'm so pleased for you! You worked so hard for this 🤩 so if i can channel some of your dedication to my Truck tests in December perhaps we can celebrate our success together. I got to do them in German which should be a laugh. German's make words extra long by sticking smaller words together, it's such a beautiful language haha NOT! Anyway super pleased for you! 🍀✌🏻💪🏻

@onwardseverstridingonwards have you looked into speech to text software? I used it while I was at uni and although it's not 100% accurate it could save you some pain from typing all the essays and only needing to type in a little

[quote Naimee87]@BelladiMamma yep i'm in a dodgy situation here! Not ready to walk away but not entirely sure keeping what's going on will serve me well in the future. I just really don't want anyone else and love having sex with him in his truck at random rest-stops. Not sure if i'll find this 'very romantic set-up' 😂 so easily, and i'm
really not keen on anyone else or on the apps. Are you still in touch with MrA? Not easy walking away from something you don't want to... [/quote]
Yeah I feel your pain. I've now got two magnet men 🤣🤣🤣 but I knew I was catching feelings for MrA in a way that was potentially going to blow up in my face. He's a bloke, he knows how it works, up to him to pick things up now. I've noticed blocked off anything cos he wasn't a dick, I just need to pull back.

BeardFlake makes me laugh. He's the worst most emotionally unavailable bloke I've ever had anything to do with. Let's see if he actually gets his act together and we ever meet. This has been a virtual relationship since March!!!

I'm so hungover today 🙈
However date was fun, a million laughs and I think I'm glad I missed all the nonsense on here last night! 😆

Morning.

So I'm still so confused and all over the place. I can't work out how I'm feeling. One minute I'm sad, next I'm not bothered. I think the fact he genuinely wants to see me when he gets back kind of helps. Not because I hope I can change his mind but just so I can see how he is with me. If he is the same as before then he obviously didn't/doesn't know that I started to like him more than friends and I was misreading things. If that's the case I think we could be great friends, it feels so comfortable and easy with him and I don't want to lose him from my life.

I do want to ask him where that leaves us/me but would that come across as needy and weird? I don't have this problem with the men in my life as they are well established and I know where I stand and they're not going to drop me.

Well done @OnwardsEverStridingOnwards 👏💃🏻

@OnwardsEverStridingOnwards
Well done, that's great news

@dancemom
Stay tucked up under the duvet and sleep it off

@Isitreallyme177 there is absolutely nothing needy or weird about asking where you are. Being yourself and true to your feelings is actually the best thing you can do here. He's an adult embarking on single life after a long break and he should learn how to deal with other adults with respect who are in the same situation.

And I'm not surprised that you're confused. fwiw I woke up yesterday morning convinced that I was in love with MrA and had thrown away my last chance at happiness. Emotions are strong and strange beasts but we do ourselves and our friends / connections no favours at all if we hide them and don't acknowledge them.

Thanks for coming to Ted talk number 2 🤣♥️🤣

@dancemom

I'm so hungover today 🙈 However date was fun, a million laughs and I think I'm glad I missed all the nonsense on here last night! 😆

🤣🤣🤣

Whatever do you mean it was an absolutely vintage night on the thread for us stay at homers ♥️🤣♥️

@BelladiMamma
@dancemom

This is why I don’t push for dates it’s much more fun staying in (with a recalcitrant jar of honey ) chatting on this thread!

@OnwardsEverStridingOnwards

Congratulations! What’s the next step now?