Dating Thread 218: The one where we're respectfully selfish

[WeWantTheFinestWines]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

[quote Bangheadhere40]@BelladiMamma - I'm pretty sure he is single, when we had a chat he said his last g/f was a few years ago and she sadly passed away :-( he was asking what my xmas plans were etc

His FB profile also says single, so I'm pretty certain he is single.[/quote]
Wahey!! Hope that works out. Why not casually mention there's a film you'd like to go see and ask him if he wants to come?

@Bluecrescent I'm sorry that happened to you, it's been such a tough time for everyone.

@Isitreallyme177 great 😊

Also my ex PT is staying in touch with flirty messages about our FWB arrangement

Who knows, I may get a sausage fest before Christmas despite Covid and lack of money!! As I'm self employed even though I've been offered more work it's highly unlikely to happen now before Christmas!!

@BelladiMamma it just seems a bit much, he might just be a helpful shop person and I've got it completely wrong :-)

I'm so jealous of all these meet-ups that might be happening! I'm really wondering now if making it to the UK even in the NewYear will work for me. It's mental over here. Just got the 'strong WFH' email again from the ' Corporate COVID Taskforce.' Suits me fine with my DS here there and everywhere during the week. But this vaccine is having little to no impact. I hope not to ruffle feathers here or change to a COVID thread, just a little vent/rant given i may be stuck here and not make the meetup, which i'm so looking forward to! Checked out travel and people to visit/places to stay!

Trying to take magnet-man stuff day by day! He's part of a airsoft rifle squad and sent some quite good photo's over the weekend. Kind of like him in his camouflage fatigues. Hoping to see him this week.

@Bangheadhere40 what is you next purchase i'm intrigued? But 1) you know he is single (yay) 2) he's keen to text maybe he doesn't know how to change the subject, can't you suggest a drink to discuss this imfermous thing you need to by? Or casually text you'd love a bit of action and would he as well? 😂

@Naimee87

Boo to covid shit!

Yeh I've got some bookings in for London but all 100% refundable and I won't do anything non-refundable or set in stone till close to the date.

Plus imagine there's all the extra testing stuff if you're coming in from away - I liked my trip away in October but it was a nightmare getting all the paperwork sorted!

"Or casually text you'd love a bit of action and would he as well?"

Hahahahahaha @Naimee87

@Naimee87 I will pm you re the item.

I can't just drop in the action ha! It seems to have come to a halt now on the messaging whilst he looks into the item for me.

@Bangheadhere40, is there anything local happening that you could find a way to suggest going to together and not make it sound like a date ? or talk about being single and enjoying the cinema/theatre/farmers market( delete where applicable , I know you have said you are pretty rural/remote) and see if he suggests you go together ? Nothing ventured nothing gained. I can be quite brave with people, I can be good at throwing out random compliments, tell him you are really glad you started going to his shop, it's been lovely getting to know him. Even if he doesn't instantly respond it might just permeate his subconscious , sow the seeds.

@Isitreallyme177 PM’d you x

And yes up for meeting-ups 👍👍

That's a good idea onestep I would prefer if it didn't sound like a date! At the moment though the chat is just about the purchase. I've complimented him and said thanks so much for his help.

I think I really need to go in again, might be easier that way

So fed up of it here! We are 'voting' on keeping certificates! People are going round with stickers on their cars/houses 'protesting' them! It's ludicrous.. i'm keeping waaaaay out of it all.

Do people give out their numbers to people they just want to be friends with though? Isn't there usually some 'keenness' to this or interest from both sides. I would have thought so. But @Bangheadhere40 once he's let you know it's 'in stock' ask if he'll personally deliver it as 'it'll be worth his while' this could range from anything be it a 'brew and a biscuit' to 'some full on action' you never know! As onesmallstep said 'nothing ventured, nothing gained' that saying makes me feel very old and wise.

@Shayelle2009 thank you 😊 I've just replied xxx

[quote Isitreallyme177]**@BelladiMamma As an ex public prison like boarding school girl floppy haired ex public school boys are kind of up my street and kindred spirits. If they like Rugby even better.[/quote]
Goodness me, I turn my back on the thread for a few hours and there's some appalling man-thievery going on! Back off, ladies - I was front of the queue for these gents!

@BelladiMamma we should totally arrange something like this. South coast might be slightly too far away for me, but I love the idea. Kind of like a bring-and-buy sale
(But if the first rule of the thread is that we don't talk about the thread, we'll need to think of some very elaborate story about how we all know each other...)

[quote Shayelle2009]@StartingAgain6369 mine is Persian and requires a LOT of attention. You have to keep on top of the coats, grooming twice a day and always trimming out any knots that appear otherwise you have a nightmare matted coat on your hands![/quote]
@Shayelle2009
I'm use to big fluffy things and plenty of grooming as I did have a Newfoundland, she's was a very big girl and took a lot of brushing

Is yours a house cat or do you allow them to wander outside ?

@StartingAgain6369 oh my god Newfoundlands are like big cuddly bears😍

@Naimee87 hope you’re ok where you are!! Europe is going to pieces!! Meant to be going to France in a couple of weeks, who knows if that is going to happen 🥺

@BelladiMamma how you feeling? Hope the ‘Rona isnt too bad.

@Bangheadhere40 MrShop the non flop!! 😬 any more messages?? Hope he asks you questions to keep the convo going.

I’m always up for more the merrier at gathering so feel free to bring the x 3 Hugh Grants along Bella! I am feeling very anti-wanting to meet anyone lately but always up for socialising and having a giggle 🥳

Oh that’s good @StartingAgain6369 I dont think people realise how much effort it takes to maintain the coat! You should defo get a Persian, they are the best! 💗 She’s an indoor girl but sits in the garden occasionally. They’re the most gentle little creatures, much more docile than normal cats. My cats the best pet I’ve had 💗 we are very co-dependent 🤣🤣

@Bangheadhere40 how long have you had your kitty and what’s it like?? 🙂

[quote Onesmallstep67]@Bangheadhere40, is there anything local happening that you could find a way to suggest going to together and not make it sound like a date ? or talk about being single and enjoying the cinema/theatre/farmers market( delete where applicable , I know you have said you are pretty rural/remote) and see if he suggests you go together ? Nothing ventured nothing gained. I can be quite brave with people, I can be good at throwing out random compliments, tell him you are really glad you started going to his shop, it's been lovely getting to know him. Even if he doesn't instantly respond it might just permeate his subconscious , sow the seeds.[/quote]
Love this @Onesmallstep67 you always give the best advice 💕💕
I agree too about getting into his subconscious! It works!

My Kitty is now 6 months and was a rescue kitten, love her to bits and she sleeps on my head 😄

Still intermittently messaging, he actually asked about my kids so I've sent a reply trying to keep the convo going.

A non flop shop 🤣

Or a one stop flop / non flop.

onestep does - always lovely advice ❤

@StartingAgain6369

she's was a very big girl and took a lot of brushing

Sounds like a girl I used to date, she was definitely built for comfort not speed, 🥰