Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

This is odd, isn't it?

109 replies

mycatisannoying · 12/11/2021 16:58

I've recently had a couple of dates with a guy I met online. It was going fairly well, and he certainly makes an effort, although his over-keenness was a slight red flag at the back of my mind. I'm an experienced online dater - and have strict boundaries - so I know the signs. Still, it was very early days, and I was happy to just take it easy and see how it went. He's good company.
He has just messaged me with a photo of a Christmas present to himself, which was some nice clothing. In the background of the photograph/room, I saw a woman's high heel shoe. Or actually, more like a heeled strappy sandal, the likes of which you probably wouldn't buy here at this time of year. Now I do know he's single, as he lives close to me. And they're not for his own usage, as he's big built and they'd never fit in a million years!

I jokingly questioned it, and he said that he's sending them as a special request to a female friend overseas (he lived in the same country for years). He bought them, I think, although I could be wrong on that. I guess it is possible that she's an ex who visited and left them behind.

I just feel slightly weirded out by this. Sending a woman shoes (and it was just the one, in the photo) seems like overstepping to me, but I don't know if OLD has made me naturally cynical. Or if I'm feeling this way because my spidey senses had been slightly tingling already.

What would you make of it? Confused

OP posts:
JSL52 · 12/11/2021 17:04

Strange. If true , why would they be out ?

anon12345anon · 12/11/2021 17:06

He's a player......
Sorry Flowers

Universeandeverything · 12/11/2021 17:09

Yes weird.

RaisedByPangolins · 12/11/2021 17:10

Sounds like bollocks to me tbh but then if I were him, I’d be sending you packing for scrutinising the background of my photo for things to pick me up on!

If he’d actually bought them for a friend they’d be sitting together in a pair, not strewn across the room.

Bit weird that he was calling clothes he bought in November a Christmas present and even weirder to send photos of them to a woman he’s been on a couple of dates with.

Not exactly dumping offences on their own but if you’re not feeling it just move on.

PromisesMeanNothingSue · 12/11/2021 17:12

Where/how was it in the photo? Standing up neatly at the edge of the frame (so could have been in a pair), with other presents/things to be wrapped? Or on it’s side on the floor like it’d been kicked off?

Have you had the exclusivity chat which seems to be necessary in OLD before you can expect someone not to be seeing/shagging others?

GoodnightGrandma · 12/11/2021 17:12

Yeah, he’s lying. Go with your gut.

samesign · 12/11/2021 17:13

Yes I would be weirded out by it, a guy doesn't send a female friend high heels, he's a player and not great at lying.

I think it probably would of been a better excuse to say an ex left them behind.

Leicat · 12/11/2021 17:15

Agree, never known anyone to buy their own Christmas presents and send pictures of them….that in itself is weird (and isn’t it mid November anyway?!). Having the shoe in shot is stranger still. Get rid.

Shedmistress · 12/11/2021 17:15

They might be his, just not for wearing.

Many men use them as accessories. For personal use. If you get my drift.

mycatisannoying · 12/11/2021 17:15

Thanks for your thoughts everyone.
We both described our approach to dating as monogamous.
I dunno. It just seems strange to me. The shoe was lying in its own on top of some paperwork.

OP posts:
girlmom21 · 12/11/2021 17:15

If they're not together as a pair he's lying

girlmom21 · 12/11/2021 17:16

Just saw about it lying on top of some paperwork - that's not like they've just been left behind so maybe he has sent his friend a photo

mycatisannoying · 12/11/2021 17:16

And I'll always ask about something that seems iffy or makes me uncomfortable. Without apology!

OP posts:
HollowTalk · 12/11/2021 17:17

On the off chance he bought them for someone then wouldn't they still be in a box or bag?

mycatisannoying · 12/11/2021 17:18

He'd treated himself to a nice pair of boots. Sending me a pic of those was the least questionable thing about this! Grin

OP posts:
GrowThroughWhatYouGoThrough · 12/11/2021 17:18

He probably sent his friend a photo

mycatisannoying · 12/11/2021 17:19

Nothing identifying in the photo, so here it is zoomed up.

This is odd, isn't it?
OP posts:
CouldThisReallyBe · 12/11/2021 17:21

Even if he's shagging someone else, you've only had a couple of dates. What are you expecting?

mycatisannoying · 12/11/2021 17:22

Absolutely fair enough not to be exclusive at this stage. So why then tell me he already was? It points to not being trustworthy.

OP posts:
Tinacollada · 12/11/2021 17:24

It's possible he is wanking on the shoes ...

TurnUpTurnip · 12/11/2021 17:27

Men use to buy my sisters shoes on eBay for “purposes” so could be that 😬

girlmom21 · 12/11/2021 17:28

Oh they're quite generic shoes. I don't see why he'd need to buy them for someone in another country.

Leicat · 12/11/2021 17:28

It certainly looks uncomfortable to wear

Notmoresugar · 12/11/2021 17:32

He's lying.
They would be in a box.

immersivereader · 12/11/2021 17:36

The shit these men try and pull

Swipe left for the next trending thread