This is odd, isn't it?

[mycatisannoying]

I've recently had a couple of dates with a guy I met online. It was going fairly well, and he certainly makes an effort, although his over-keenness was a slight red flag at the back of my mind. I'm an experienced online dater - and have strict boundaries - so I know the signs. Still, it was very early days, and I was happy to just take it easy and see how it went. He's good company.
He has just messaged me with a photo of a Christmas present to himself, which was some nice clothing. In the background of the photograph/room, I saw a woman's high heel shoe. Or actually, more like a heeled strappy sandal, the likes of which you probably wouldn't buy here at this time of year. Now I do know he's single, as he lives close to me. And they're not for his own usage, as he's big built and they'd never fit in a million years!

I jokingly questioned it, and he said that he's sending them as a special request to a female friend overseas (he lived in the same country for years). He bought them, I think, although I could be wrong on that. I guess it is possible that she's an ex who visited and left them behind.

I just feel slightly weirded out by this. Sending a woman shoes (and it was just the one, in the photo) seems like overstepping to me, but I don't know if OLD has made me naturally cynical. Or if I'm feeling this way because my spidey senses had been slightly tingling already.

What would you make of it?

I’m in NZ and you can buy Ian Rankin novels, After Eight mints and high street shoes here. I’m assuming Australia is even better equipped!

He sounds a bit mad op. If he insists on contacting you or leaving you random Christmas gifts then it might be worth reporting him

I hope you do get the present because I am desperate to know if it is black strappy sandals, after eights and an ian ranking novel...and he gives the same gift every year to every woman he ever went on a date with.

These little enclaves where you can't access shoes like Nimm's island?

There was a poster on here a while ago who blogs about living on an Island off the west coast of Ireland. I hadn't heard of the island and yet it still had good internet. She can get anything delivered to her, 3x week island delivery service. She said Tesco also deliver but again, only on reduced days. But still! How remote do you have to be before you can't get shoes?

more apologies for derailing OP and glad you've sorted things to your satisfaction .
@TheFoundations and @mycatisannoying,sorry my last post was directed at Suprima whose
"two dates, two dates!
Women don’t owe anyone anything "
sounded harsh to me . As does the "binning" mentioned by others - not you ,OP .

@TheFoundations - a lot of what you say I agree with ,it's the black and whiteness of some of your comments I disagree with .

But ,as you say - we disagree ,that's ok .

For what it's worth I think you've done the right thing, bit weird sending exes presents, I wouldn't like it. I think you were right in listening to your spidey senses - doesn't matter what anyone else thinks x

Thanks for your insight @TheFoundations as always. Plenty for me to think on. I like the analogy and will hang on to it.

I am in counselling as it happens so I'm learning and exploring my feelings all the time.

Right. Anyone been on the Next website to see if the shoes are current? I'm curious now!

Shoe fetish?!

Fwiw I'm with PP who thought the explanation plausible enough.

However, sending exes gifts like this is inappropriate - it shows an unwillingness to let go which is being repeated with you. You did the right thing OP.

Being alert to our instincts is good. But if the only thing that had seemed odd was the picture and let's say he said he'd bought it as a Christmas present for his sister who had requested them, then all would have been innocent despite suspicions being aroused.