Dating Thread 217: Is it burning bright or fizzling out?

[Heartbeats0708]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

Awww @BelladiMamma! You will be fine. Deep breaths!

So weekend of 5th/6th February (ish) looks good for most so guess we all just aim to save the date and explore our transport options!

Going with @WeWantTheFinestWines of having an organised drinks and a meal out and a daytime brunch/lunch thing sounds good to me?

No idea about restaurants but expect that can be sorted as long as we're all vaguely in the right place at the right time.

Expect some might be staying longer/or peeling off earlier/just wanting to drop in for a drink/coffee according to their schedule.

I'll hope to be last woman at the bar (if work doesn't throw something at me )

All you on the bench bring your phones and we can swipe for you I might be at that stage then lol.

Sorry to hear about your daughter and your twat ex @BelladiMamma 😔 just read back through the thread. Hope youre both ok x

Noooo @SpringlikeBunk! Have faith in the Hog!! 😬

@Shayelle2009

Sorry to hear about your daughter and your twat ex *@BelladiMamma* 😔 just read back through the thread. Hope youre both ok x

Thanks love. As you say, just trying to breathe through it.

@Shayelle2009

I like him a LOT lol but I guess it's just the "sussing out compatibility" stage now

one of the issues with being emotionally quite happy with one's life all over is it's harder to then "compromise to meet someone in the middle", doing all the "teamwork" involved being serious about someone

So seeing if we can just get through a couple more enjoyable dates before coming to any conclusions!

So excited we have decided on a weekend! 😊
Really excited about meeting you all. If there are any Londoners on the thread they may be able to suggest a suitable venue for drinks and dinner, where you can actually hear each other! Fairly central is probably more likely to make it easily accessible and also not too far from a budget hotel?

@BelladiMamma I'm sorry about your daughter. It's tough being a parent at times. I get on OK with my ex though he's an alcoholic (off booze for a while) but yesterday he snapped at me and memories came flooding back and I was so grateful for being alone! Mr A has introduced you to his friends so I hardly think he's going to disappear. The thread is here for you to vent.

@Shayelle2009 I quite like just chit chatting to prospective irons, almost like interview practice. The chats rarely go anywhere though so I'd definitely class myself as on the bench.

Very jealous about the London meet up plans
@Alexandradream happy to chat - I can see your swiping strategy working well on Tinder too but with a bigger pool - especially as you are near Dublin. I do give people a chance if I like their profile and they look nice - eg Mr L is not that tall - If he had listed his height I might have swiped left on him but obviously so glad I didn’t now!
I wouldn’t say how many kids you have, just that you have them or Mum to teens as suggested. I have 3 and I don’t think it’s been a barrier to dating anyone - 2 of the 4 people I have dated had 3 kids also.

@WeWantTheFinestWines I'm a Londoner

www.bodeganegracafe.com/ is buzzing

thepregnantman.co.uk/ nice pub

Wow @Eesha

They look so good.

I'm not a venue snob and pretty much of the "no fuss as long as we can get everyone there and easy to travel in and comfy and talking"

but would also be nice to "check out somewhere cool" as a bonus, so you Londoners are the info source here! Or we'll all end up in Pizza express lol.

@SpringlikeBunk Bodega will need bookings I'm sure. I doubt I'll get childcare so might be last minute for me. Pregnant Man is more a city pub place, quieter.

Thanks everyone for the virtual hugs. Really nice of you all. Another friend just called to check in and she is so reassuring. It's just you want to make everything better for the kids don't you ♥️

'Cap-fishing' that sooo funny! Happened to me once! The man took his hat off only on date three and looked like megamind 😂

Wow the meet-up is coming together this is so good! Will be a great 'start' to the New Year... this threads got me through a lot this past year! @SpringlikeBunk we can prop up the bar together... although with London prices that could get expensive.

@Shayelle2009 i'd like to think i'd strike up a conversation these days with someone i liked the look of but likely i wouldn't. You're coming to the meet-up right? We can 'wing-man' each other. Although i'll be eye-ing up the Asda and Morrison's delivery drivers and tracking down Eddie Stobart drivers 🤩👏🏻

A lot of words for "pretentious twat"

I come down to London for work sometimes so hoping I can combine a work trip with the meet up

@VanGoghsDog I think I’m reasonably well educated but still had to look up half of those words! Could’ve just said he loves flowers.

I go to London quite a lot but not sure my places are the right sort of places.😬🤣🙈 they're okay if you want to dance till 6am

Adding to the hugs @BelladiMamma I'm having ex/DC issues also and it's so overwhelming. You do just want the kids to be happy no matter what.
Saved the date thanks @SpringlikeBunk will see how childcare/work/budget looks nearer the time!
I try and swipe with an open mind. I think it was @VanGoghsDog that said unless there's something that's an immediate 'no' then maybe give it a chance, have a chat and see. Just have to ruthlessly screen then.
I'm not so bothered about height. One outright lied about it which was a shame, like you say @Shayelle2009 it's not like you won't notice.. Mr D was completely upfront about being the same height as me!

God that is sick-making, @VanGoghsDog, I actually feel quite angry that anyone can be SUCH a pretentious twat!

@BelladiMamma I’m sorry your DD and you are going through this. My youngest DD had a hard time with my XH from about 14 onwards, we were still together but definitely derailing and he seemed to take his feelings about this out on her rather than me. I desperately wanted them to retain a relationship, as you do, but after a couple of years I did say to her that she could consider telling him just to get lost if that would help her (she did and still does deserve a much better father than him…). I think my quiet support for that possible strategy did help her cope with her feelings, though in the end she didn’t have the conversation with him, she just quietly backed off. She’s now 26 and they have a fairly good relationship, considering he’s a twat, the backing off lasted just a couple of years. I suppose what I’m saying is that what happens between them now won’t necessarily end their relationship. I don’t know if that helps (probably not, sorry!)

I can make 5/6 February in London, if you’re still taking ayes @SpringlikeBunk?

@JustThisLastLittleBit

Great more the merrier!

@MizK - thank you, I’ll keep everyone updated
@BelladiMamma - sending you a very big mahoosive hug
@SpringlikeBunk - thank you for starting to get the Feb weekend together

Busy day at work, really interesting to read everyone’s views on height, I’m 6-2 tall. Never really thought about height until Ms YM1, she was nearly 5-2 tall, our first trip out she said I’ve the highest wedges I can find on, I’m trying to get a little bit closer in height to you. After a while she gave up on the heels, mentioned a few times about me towering over her and I said it doesn’t worry me at all, I like you just the way you are and that reassured her.

Ms Sunglasses is the tallest lady I’ve dated, she’s 5-10, yesterday in heels not far off my height, she also mentioned in text exchanges men have got to be taller than her.

@BelladiMamma I'm glad you and DD have made it through the day🤗
I know Mr A hasnt been in contact today but the one positive is that you didnt have to make excuses about your lack of time to message or your low mood!!

I hope DD is feeling much better tomorrow goes to school 🤞

@VanGoghsDog there are no words, what a tool ! Did it come as text or with the background image as well ?

[quote StartingAgain6369]@VanGoghsDog there are no words, what a tool ! Did it come as text or with the background image as well ?[/quote]
It's his Tinder biog, with his photo behind it.

He has a lot of photos and looks reasonably ordinary, though a bit of jumping off mountains going on.

@VanGoghsDog

A lot of words for "pretentious twat"

Ha, what a bell end !