Dating Thread 217: Is it burning bright or fizzling out?

[Heartbeats0708]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

@FabulousMrFifty I don't even feel middle aged and I'm 44.🤣

@Shayelle2009 i know loads of djs and have had some interesting times with them. For me though when you hear the likes of Ferry Corsten and Tiesto are too big to play the clubs that helped them when they were virtually unknown(their fees are ridiculous now), it makes me sad. Although I wouldn't want to listen to the crap their producing these days anyway.

@Shayelle2009

Thing is *@FabulousMrFifty if @dancemom* calls him on it likely he’ll get aggressive and abusive. Welcome to the world of OLD for women.

Yeah, some men are real dicks ( embarrassing to to be male sometimes)

When I was on the apps (taking a break at the mo), there was normally no response from women.

I didn't reply to an iron once last summer when I was watching a film and the abuse he sent via message was unbelievable.

Mr Engineer already trying to turn every chat towards sex 🙄

^^ it's soo cringe but I like to think they do me a favour by showing their true colours early on

That is such an interesting and depressing article fabulous. I am reasonably well educated and I'm looking for someone similar, which makes my dating pool quite small out here in the sticks. In addition, politics are important to me and I can't be with a Tory, which narrows the options considerably in my neck of the woods. And I'm in my 50s, so I guess there's no hope for me 😊

At what point would you ask a guy about a date? We've been on two and all went well. Third was arranged for last Friday but I had to cancel due to childcare. I'm child free this Friday but he's not once asked am I free again, yet messages me every day 🤷🏽‍♀️

@inmyslippers

At what point would you ask a guy about a date? We've been on two and all went well. Third was arranged for last Friday but I had to cancel due to childcare. I'm child free this Friday but he's not once asked am I free again, yet messages me every day 🤷🏽‍♀️

Does he know you are going to be child free ? I’ve had dates cancel on me and sometimes you don’t want to ask in case the answer is No

If not maybe just put if out there “ I’m free this weekend if you’re up for a date”, in your own words

@WeWantTheFinestWines
One of my key take aways was the gap between males & females going into higher education.

On this forum I see threads from women in their 30s finding it hard to met men, and think this just get worse and less men go in to HE.

As a country I think we really need to invest in male education and good male roles for young men ( but that’s just what I think).

@inmyslippers ask him! Life's to short to wait about ...

Loved all the music chat! I feel like it helps me understand people more when I learn their music tastes! (Probably doesn't but I also believe in astrology!)
I have such a weakness for hip hop ( all types and probably stuff that some might think I'm too old to like eg Young Thug and Megan) but also have a love for indie, some dance and some cheesy pop 😆

I'm on my third date with MrTeacher tonight. No fireworks yet but I like him a lot as a person and he smells amazing.

@FabulousMrFifty I've read similar versions of that article over the years and it's no surprise. As an oxbridge PhD with above average finances, the only thing I can say is that guys are also attracted to women that they don't need to support financially, whatever their education status. Cuts both ways.

@inmyslippers I agree, don't ask, don't get!

[quote BelladiMamma]@FabulousMrFifty I've read similar versions of that article over the years and it's no surprise. As an oxbridge PhD with above average finances, the only thing I can say is that guys are also attracted to women that they don't need to support financially, whatever their education status. Cuts both ways. [/quote]
Cool, What did you do your thesis in ?

I know your 100% right that we (men) are attracted to successfull / educate women ( who wouldn’t be, right? ),

But I also feel that men are more likely to ( or are less disconcerting if you like), date people less established/ not as educated than themselves.

And that seems to be a theme on this site, I read about women with good jobs / careers saying there are no “decent” men about, and men are all low quality,
I (personally), think this goes right back to education and how boys and young men are being left behind by girls and young women in the education stakes, just look at Universities and the women coming out with good degrees compared to men.
As a man it makes me sad that young men are not striving to achieve more in that young women do.

I agree @inmyslippers if you had to cancel then its nice if you suggest the next meet? If he cancelled it would be up to him (if you hadn’t deleted him for it!)

@MizK there is NOTHING better than a guy who smells devine 😆😆its 100% a chemistry thing!!

Quite looking forward to tomorrow night as off out for cocktails after work in city, nice group of us. Doubt I’ll chat to any men though. I’ve been out a fair bit lately - not chatted to ONE bloke whatsoever.

[quote FabulousMrFifty]@WeWantTheFinestWines
One of my key take aways was the gap between males & females going into higher education.

On this forum I see threads from women in their 30s finding it hard to met men, and think this just get worse and less men go in to HE.

As a country I think we really need to invest in male education and good male roles for young men ( but that’s just what I think).[/quote]
I totally agree and made sure I read with my DS early on, hoping they might end up as interested in books and learning as I was at their age and still am. Both parents graduates. They hate school, they hate reading, learning is boring but they don't need to know anything anyway because they're going to be professional footballers or gamers. Their friends are the same. Friends' girls tell me how hard they work at school and how motivated they are by getting good results. It's not that they're not interesting in anything academic, it's that they're not interested in anything at all. They're stil only teenagers so hopefully they'll discover the thing they enjoy at some point. But I think they're a good example of the boys vs girls issue in HE.

@FabulousMrFifty i work in higher education, at an Undergraduate level the male/female ratio is pretty even, in fact at PhD it is (where I work anyway). If you go into Executive Education MBA/DBA/Leadership there is far more male students. I've come across some amazing young men over the past 15 years, they work bloody hard and achieve so much.

There is also a massive push to get more females into academia especially into the top jobs.

We definitely need more male teachers starting at Primary level and we need to look why men aren't going into that profession.

On my way for my date zero. Will he show? Places your bets people! If he doesn't I have one more iron then that's it tol the new year

@Dazedandconfused10

On my way for my date zero. Will he show? Places your bets people! If he doesn't I have one more iron then that's it tol the new year

Good luck 🤞🏽

@Isitreallyme177

I have previously read the boys to men report and it’s a sorry read to be honest, and does about the lack of male teachers as an issue

www.hepi.ac.uk/wp-content/uploads/2016/05/Boys-to-Men.pdf

The gender gap report is also interesting, with females nearly 10% ahead in universe numbers

www.hepi.ac.uk/2020/03/07/mind-the-gap-gender-differences-in-higher-education/

I went out on a limb and asked..he has his son on the Friday sadly

@Shayelle2009

Quite looking forward to tomorrow night as off out for cocktails after work in city, nice group of us. Doubt I’ll chat to any men though. I’ve been out a fair bit lately - not chatted to ONE bloke whatsoever.

Good luck, fine a nice looking guy and say hello 👋

@inmyslippers

I went out on a limb and asked..he has his son on the Friday sadly

Oh dear, all weekend I assume?

I’ll try 😁 @FabulousMrFifty

Good luck @Dazedandconfused10