Dating Thread 217: Is it burning bright or fizzling out?

[Heartbeats0708]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

@Shayelle2009 Friday, but its a real faff to sort out the old childcare. Here's hoping its not a waste of time!

Hope not for you too @Eesha! At least you’ll look good though! 😬

[quote Hehx3]@SortingItOut yeah i had counselling, quite extensive and long as my ex was abusive and leaving was hard. I am past that in a sense that I know I wasn't at fault but I just don't want make same mistakes again and I kind of felt shit. Yes I know what you mean, in me talking this way however I do have a self worth but I was taught that my feelings don't matter so while I know they do I keep questioning myself and well I do really want to be fair and a good person.
I guess I think when bond is created and you can be sure of other person then its more okay to "leave them to it" as you can trust its just not going to disappear so it felt he is not too worried about that and Im just convenient when I am there.
@BelladiMamma that made me smile, I cant date others if I went to bed with him and i dont have mental capacity. Im not worried about that time in a sense Im quite happy on my own and can fill it eith other stuff. I just thought it just dont feel like he is that bothered.
@FabulousMrFifty no chance for zoom as im homeschooling my younger (he has ASD) and I dont want him to hear him as its waaaaay to early for them to be involved in any shape or form. [/quote]
I'm an appalling human, unless someone has stated quite clearly that they want us to be exclusive I can't really deal with waiting. I guess that might resonate with you! Plus MrA is - for me - sex on legs and I am an impatient lady 🤣

But honestly this is all a bit of fantasy flirting really as I don't have the time to deal with too many ongoing situations

[quote Eesha]@Shayelle2009 Friday, but its a real faff to sort out the old childcare. Here's hoping its not a waste of time![/quote]
Wish we lived nearer, we could have our very own babysitting circle for the thread

Yes @Eesha this excitement that I would like to feel from him, obviously not too much as of evening and good mornings msgs at this stage but sort of "come and see my world to see if you see yourself there" attitude on the beginning especially. I hate love bombing though so I do feel that maybe guys cant win...🤷‍♀️ anyway I do not want to hijack the thread so I will shut up and while im not in a rush to be in a relationship hate to think Im perhaps wasting my time. Eh a joy... or not...

[quote SpringlikeBunk]@WeWantTheFinestWines

YY 100% agree

its ages to organise yet but I think first priority is just to get everyone somewhere we can all "introduce and check-in with each other" in a relaxed way, as it can be a bit daunting otherwise just walking into somewhere especially if it's noisy or a sit-down meal!

plus its nicer if everyone is sitting in a circle and can see and talk to everyone initially.

if we do a whatsapp group closer to the time we can see what times everyone is coming in and go from there.[/quote]

Aah wish I could come to the meet up (would probably stay with my sister in Highbury) but that's the weekend I'll be having forced fun celebrating my 40th! Apparently it's illegal to just want to gloss over the whole event and treat it as any other birthday 😑 please do share the funny stories on here (especially the 6am crew!)

@MizK

We'll aim to do final roll call closer to the time so if you're free for a bit do come along.

@MizK I wasn't keen on a 40th birthday bash myself (was a few years ago now) but to be honest it was a complete hoot and all family and friends enjoyed themselves

I went to the Harry Potter studio tour for my 40th. I wasn't one for parties really, not when married at least.

I’m turning 40 next year but can’t see anyone being likely to organise something for me. Think I’ll just try to ignore it.

Mr Beard has asked to meet up twice this week, so that’s nice. It’s been a difficult week with the kids (one’s a toddler, the elder one is awaiting ASD assessment) so am craving some time being affectionate with someone.

Oh god I've got more chats going again. I think I'm just building up my defences for when MrA's show is done and he's hundreds of miles away again. Just the worst sort of avoidant. I'll avoid feeling sad about losing him with the sticking plaster of other dates and chats.

Aaaargh

@Stayingstrongish

I’m turning 40 next year but can’t see anyone being likely to organise something for me. Think I’ll just try to ignore it.

Mr Beard has asked to meet up twice this week, so that’s nice. It’s been a difficult week with the kids (one’s a toddler, the elder one is awaiting ASD assessment) so am craving some time being affectionate with someone.

It's when you're going through those times that you really miss another adult ♥️

Ms Sunglasses update

Had a long WA exchange this evening just general chit chat etc and trying to sort another date out

I offered to meet and take out Ms Sunglasses to a purveyor of fine foods but she has declined and said she would like to come and visit me at home

So I said only if you are sure which she replied I'm very sure, so I said I would cook properly (not open any packets) which she replied I don't care and quickly followed up with I'll bring the desert with 2 smiling winking emojis

Does that mean it's a dangerous pudding which could go in your eyes?

@StartingAgain6369

Ms Sunglasses update

Had a long WA exchange this evening just general chit chat etc and trying to sort another date out

I offered to meet and take out Ms Sunglasses to a purveyor of fine foods but she has declined and said she would like to come and visit me at home

So I said only if you are sure which she replied I'm very sure, so I said I would cook properly (not open any packets) which she replied I don't care and quickly followed up with I'll bring the desert with 2 smiling winking emojis

Does that mean it's a dangerous pudding which could go in your eyes?

🤣🤣🤣

A very dangerous pudding. Which could go on many places, not just your eyes. But be prepared to be dazzled 😁

Just got an email to ask me to fill out a survey about the film I should have been going to tonight with Mr Cricket(it was a special free preview showing). I didn't finish working until 6.00pm tonight (after a very late lunch at 3.30pm) so it would have been out regardless.

Eurgh Baywatch and The Hoff it will have to be. I never realised what nice eyes David Hasselhoff has.

@Isitreallyme177

Just got an email to ask me to fill out a survey about the film I should have been going to tonight with Mr Cricket(it was a special free preview showing). I didn't finish working until 6.00pm tonight (after a very late lunch at 3.30pm) so it would have been out regardless.

Eurgh Baywatch and The Hoff it will have to be. I never realised what nice eyes David Hasselhoff has.

Oh no, did you have to cancel? Sorry to hear that

@BelladiMamma Yep, he moves next week so is really busy but was also asked to run a training course at work today, but as I was playing catch up all afternoon it kind of worked in my favour. I sat through 4.5 hours of project management training this morning, then an hour meeting straight after, then another meeting, then a call with my manager, then a meeting with an agency for half an hour. All online, I didn't leave the house until 4pm when I went for a walk, got back and started working again. I didn't even make the gym😫.

@Isitreallyme177

Just got an email to ask me to fill out a survey about the film I should have been going to tonight with Mr Cricket(it was a special free preview showing). I didn't finish working until 6.00pm tonight (after a very late lunch at 3.30pm) so it would have been out regardless.

Eurgh Baywatch and The Hoff it will have to be. I never realised what nice eyes David Hasselhoff has.

What happened? Why no cinema date with Mr Cricket 😥

Sorry, crossed mails. How disappointing Isitreally

@SpringlikeBunk thanks 😊

@Stayingstrongish you've certainly got a lot going on so don't blame you for craving some love!

@Isitreallyme177 sounds like you have tons on with work. Make sure you get some time to have fun/relax too.

@StartingAgain6369 I'd go for dessert straight away if I were in your position 😆

@BellaDiMamma the chats are a distraction at least but I don't envy you having your yummy actor on the brink of leaving. Must be very muddling - seems like you have such a strong connection while knowing it's finite.

Had a few messages from MrTeacher who I had drinks with last night. He was quite shy which threw me as I'm used to being around quite alpha assertive men. But I liked enough things about him (beautiful white teeth, in good shape, quite funny) to think its worth another date. Maybe. Its all such a graft 😴

I don't think I should be allowed to tinder after a rubbish day at work. Matched with a very unsuitable local iron and exchanged numbers. He texts far too much and is getting on my nerves so I have sent him a nice I'm going to improve my mood before I start dating again text.
I had a very promising potential send me a message on bumble looking to exchange numbers and when I go to answer he has deleted his profile.

My mood is pretty low today after a rubbish interview at the weekend and just work being work this week. Hopefully there will be better job prospects soon and better dating prospects. I also need to get myself out of the funk I am in and get into the Christmas spirit

@Dancerinthemoonlight, sending hugs !

I had to get settled in a job before dating, my mind mentally and financially was all over the place.

The pressure of Christmas doesn't help either, is your current job fairly settled ?

hi everyone, I'm popping into the world of online dating again I think

I just don't really like online dating, but I would love to meet someone for dates and I really really need some action. The problem is I don't seem to like anyone, I get bored so easily when messaging and when I do meet people from online I just never really like them.

I then wonder why I am always alone

Is anyone else like this? I think I connect better with people I meet in person, but these days I don't go out alot and when I do I don't think people are mixing as much maybe due to covid.

@StartingAgain6369 my job is safe but I really don't like the company, it's a very toxic place and its not in the area of my sector I want to be in anyway. At least I have a job while I look for a new one