Maybe, because you focus so much on wanting a man, which by the way there's nothing wrong with wanting a partner and a family lifestyle, that's what most of us want, I wonder if you have too generous standards. And because you want to give people a chance, (in the hope of finding "the one") perhaps you should be stricter with your filtering.
By no means am I suggesting you are interacting with anyone and everyone who contacts you, but on the basis that it's gone so badly, and it's not down to you, maybe you are giving "idiots" a chance that others dismiss very quickly. 3+ idiots in a row and I can imagine it must feel very deflating. But that's because they were idiots, who didn't deserve your chance. The only mistake you made was giving them one.
I imagine for each that you call a "headfuck" there are numerous other women they have interacted with on the dating site, who would describe them exactly the same. You know the guys, that all their ex's are crazy. Definitely nothing to do with them...
I think if and when you look to date again, you need to have a stronger mindset, and an "are you good enough for me?" approach. Lame texts? Block. Flaky dinner plans? Block. Because someone who has actual interest does none of those things. Don't see red flags and question yourself, or try and fix it. There should be no red flags. Even if he's really funny/smart/you really liked him, he's showing you that he's not for you. My ex is clever, funny, great job, charismatic. I'd have loved it to work out. But he's also a manipulative liar. All the positives will never change that. And this is where I feel you would look at the positives and think "I don't want to lose him". I didn't want too either. This is where you need to be stronger and not let things carry on. In reality, the negative is what overrules and breaks the relationship.
Don't waste a second more with someone who shows you who they are. All that does is keep you in a situation that will never work, when you could be meeting the right person.
How are you feeling today? I hope that loser is out of your headspace? Are you going to head out with your friends? Enjoy an evening in?