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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

To assume I've been dumped?

159 replies

WheatlandTerrier · 06/11/2021 10:09

Seeing a guy since July. He's more open to relationships than me but we decided to make a go off it. Met each others families etc. We both had covid 2 weeks ago. He was worse than me so i didn't mind making most of the contact etc. However we've both been back out in the world for a week and it's me making most of the effort. I facetimed him last night to discuss it but he was with his daughter. I spoke to her quickly and he said he'd ring me once they were home and didn't. Am I dumped?

OP posts:
WheatlandTerrier · 08/11/2021 12:10

That'd awful. You know I've got a happy life with an amazing child, a good job and great friends and family so there's no way I'm wasting time feeling down.

OP posts:
WheatlandTerrier · 08/11/2021 16:02

He wants to come round tomorrow night.

OP posts:
Glassofshloer · 08/11/2021 16:05

Ooooo he’s surprised you’re not begging!

WheatlandTerrier · 08/11/2021 16:05

I don't want him to beg

OP posts:
WheatlandTerrier · 08/11/2021 16:05

And i won't beg

OP posts:
ChargingBuck · 08/11/2021 16:09

@WheatlandTerrier

He wants to come round tomorrow night.
& you don't have to comply.

What's the point?
It's over.

Just - NO! Don't expose yourself to any further "hot & cold" bullshit.
You've been seeing this guy for 4 months. Way too much drama.

Your safest & easiest bet is to just send a short text along the lines of -
"Can't see the point in meeting up, it was fun, but now it's over let's just wish each other well & go our separate ways. All the best."

And ... BLOCK.

NotExactlyOptimistic · 08/11/2021 16:11

More drama here than a Hollywood blockbuster. Tell him to fuck off!

Theunamedcat · 08/11/2021 16:17

@NotExactlyOptimistic

More drama here than a Hollywood blockbuster. Tell him to fuck off!
This ^

Its just too much dramatic behaviour

altmember · 08/11/2021 16:40

@NotExactlyOptimistic

More drama here than a Hollywood blockbuster. Tell him to fuck off!
The drama seems to be coming from both sides.
OverweightPidgeon · 08/11/2021 16:42

If you’d asked him to come over he would have said no.

Missmissmiiiiiiiiisss · 08/11/2021 16:44

I genuinely don’t understand. You both had covid, got better, saw each other, then you rang once and he had his DD with him and forgot to call you back.. the next day he tried to make plans to see you in person?

Where is this fading? This all seems normal to me. Am I missing something?

TinnedPotatoesRock · 08/11/2021 16:53

The drama seems to be coming from both sides

No it doesn't

WheatlandTerrier · 08/11/2021 18:20

I told him we had nothing to talk about so thats that. I feel all this 'I'm not dumping you but etc etc' is playing a stupid game and it's backfired

OP posts:
CompetitiveMumming · 08/11/2021 18:34

So have you said "I don't want to go out with you any more"?
Or "Do you want to continue this relationship"?

I still think all this "He hasn't said he isn't dumping me and he wants to come round but I don't know what he wants to say" is all really unclear.

WheatlandTerrier · 08/11/2021 18:36

No I've told him with have nothing to discuss. Why would I want to talk to him?

OP posts:
Honeyroar · 08/11/2021 19:53

Well done- stay strong.

OverweightPidgeon · 08/11/2021 20:58

I think this is refreshing, a woman who won’t stand any nonsense, there’s so many threads where women are agonising over whether to stay with an absolute loser or not.

Branleuse · 08/11/2021 21:09

Good for you OP. Your intuition was right. He was going a bit cold, maybe someone caught his eye, you sensed it. Now youve pretty much dumped him and hes gonna try and chase you. Till the next time. Too much drama.

BruiserWoods · 08/11/2021 21:18

Nicely handled. He probably thought he he held all the cards.

Dont think you're hard work for getting turned off by somebody going cold on you. That is healthy.

Vigg1984 · 08/11/2021 21:24

@BruiserWoods

Nicely handled. He probably thought he he held all the cards.

Dont think you're hard work for getting turned off by somebody going cold on you. That is healthy.

Yes, probably thought you would go chasing and give him a confidence boost and some attention 😂
starskey80 · 08/11/2021 21:28

OP you are my hero, I'm going to remember this thread for next time some headfuck starts messing me around.
Fair fucks to you.

Vigg1984 · 08/11/2021 21:32

Keep us updated OP 🙌🏼🙌🏼

WheatlandTerrier · 08/11/2021 21:36

He said he wants to explain where his head is at. I told him it's all good and good luck back on the field

OP posts:
Ema52 · 08/11/2021 21:45

@WheatlandTerrier

He said he wants to explain where his head is at. I told him it's all good and good luck back on the field
I love that you don't mess around with a loser.. umming and ahhing and debating if you should stay with a toss pot or not. 99% of the time on here it's frustrating when posters are obviously being abused or with toss pots but are to scared to go it alone. I love your thread. His loss. Strong women are to be admired.
Thatsplentyjack · 08/11/2021 21:48

You definitely don't sound like hard work, or exhausting OP Hmm. J think it's brilliant your not wallowing around playing his games. Why wait around for him to dump you when you can just move on.