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Original poster

Married men!!!!

116 replies

Sonaftersonafterson · 02/11/2021 22:08

I'm right in the thick of dating at the moment, seeing someone semi regularly and chatting to a few other guys. Tonight though... I'm just blown away by the constant stream of married men who message me. I've been on the receiving end of adultery, I've dated married men in the past...so I know both sides of this coin but the sheer number shocked me tonight. Out of 11 messages, 8 were married and looking for a FWB. Not even discrete about it, happily sending pics. One guy tonight claiming to be getting divorced sent me a link to his podcast...which links directly to his Instagram, business contacts, wife and 3 kids! Wife is on Instagram saying she is "super proud" of him at some event he organised and all the while, he is sending me the filthiest of suggestions and asking to meet.

Unbelievable. I've seen the devastation this causes and I'm utterly shocked how brazen these guys are and how easily they could be caught out. Yet they dont care...

Is it just me? My profile says I want a FWB but does not say I want a married man!!!

What is wrong with people!!!?

OP posts:
DerbyshireMama · 02/11/2021 22:11

Er, well done? Loads of married men want to shag you, you must be super desirable, not sure what else you want us to say.

mylife8410 · 02/11/2021 22:14

Hi
What is FWB ?

RubyRedSlippers1 · 02/11/2021 22:17

FWB = friends with benefits!

Ah there are a lot of them out there. I believe you!

My male friend who is gay says he is frequently approached by married guys on online apps too. Obviously he tells them to fuck off.

Very annoying for you though. Would it look weird to put that you're looking looking a single guy to have a FWB arrangement with?

Original poster
Sonaftersonafterson · 02/11/2021 22:17

My point was married men seem to be like dogs on heat with ANYONE. Not just me. I get more messages from married men then I do single. Just pondering on this "discussion" forum @derbyshiremama no need to get all haughty Wink

OP posts:
coffeeschmoffee · 02/11/2021 22:23

I have found this. I'm 40 so it might be an age thing. I dont remember this when I was in my 20s! Which site / app are you on?

kittenkipping · 02/11/2021 22:27

I don't have personal experience but my best friend is inundated. She says 7/10 are openly married and 2/10 secretly so. She's so jaded that she's not even certain that last 1/10 isn't married. Online dating seems to be the absolute pits sorry op.

Purplebear37 · 02/11/2021 22:53

Absolutely agree, a high number of married men are contacting me across different sites, despite me SPECIFICALLY stating I'm not interested in entertaining anyone already attached. And they don't give up!!

youvegottenminuteslynn · 02/11/2021 23:05

I've dated married men in the past...

Knowingly or they lied to you and said they were single?

PleaseGoDontGoAgain · 02/11/2021 23:54

@coffeeschmoffee

I have found this. I'm 40 so it might be an age thing. I dont remember this when I was in my 20s! Which site / app are you on?
I'm a similar age, infidelity did happen in my world in my 20s BUT it had to be in person and involved more risk for everyone involved.

It's easy for them to sit on the loo and message 9/10 other women who will never cross paths with the Mrs, they tell themselves it's just harmless flirting with a total stranger or 10. Until they get a confirmation of a shag AND secrecy.

So that same shit that used to involve actually approaching a woman and 'feeling out' whether she would shag a married man before making a move and then arranging a tryst, all while worried it would be 'spotted' by a mutual acquaintance or colleague who knew the wife, back then the risk of someone grassing you up was much higher as there were IRL connections.
All that can now be done while taking a shit...with a stranger.

Depressing as fuck

FestiveFlavours · 02/11/2021 23:59

I've dated married men in the past...

And now you wonder why married men are interested?

Viviennemary · 03/11/2021 00:03

Not surprised married men are attracted to this FWB lark. Means they won't be nagged as to when they're going to leave their wife. Win win all round Id say,

Avarua · 03/11/2021 00:05

I'm just at the point now that I think the world would be a better place altogether without male sexuality. They've controlled women's sexuality for the last few thousand years; is it our turn now? Bye-bye to balls for rapists, cheaters, violent fuckers, men who exploit vulnerable women, child porn watchers, cat-callers and all other forms of sexual abusers.

Mermaidwaves · 03/11/2021 00:17

Yep I fully believe you, when I was OLD I would see them in my local town with their partners and kids, I would recognise them from their Godawful profile pics looking like something from Crimewatch Confused I used to wonder how they weren't scared of getting caught as some were prolific!

Animood · 03/11/2021 00:25

Yes my experience of online dating is a high percentage are married.

My married female friends are horrified when I tell them, then even more horrified when I show them the messages. But I think they need to know because it is a big problem. Checking a partners phone every now and then might not be such a bad thing.

My gay male friend says gay dating apps are full of "straight" guys in heterosexual relationships who want "fun" with other men.

I really do despair!

Onthedunes · 03/11/2021 03:06

Married men !!!

How exasperating, and you who has dated them in the past.

What's the problem if you've done it before ?

Can't see why your complaining to be honest, why the effrontery now ?

Sounds like buisness as usual to me.

SnowyPetals · 03/11/2021 06:00

Well the fact that you're advertising for casual sex could have something to do with it.

Andwander · 03/11/2021 06:15

You basically advertise yourself as: anybody up for a bit of sex when bored! No wonder you have men flogging to you and it is "perfect" set up for a married man.what do you expect if you want FWB?You get exactly that,but of course the "friends" thingy just make it sound better.Its sex for free for anybody who wishes,married or unmarried!

Idiot2021 · 03/11/2021 07:03

I’ve always thought an advert stating you’re looking for a FWB will always attract a lot of married/committed men, likewise it probably does women. For all of the reasons previously stated.
It does seem that there is an equal amount of those who are ok with this behaviour and will be on such apps and I guess the trick is to not be surprised by that, it seems to be the forum to go to.
Those who are looking for something more real maybe don’t go to such apps. Just my opinion.
I liken it to if you fancy a dirty kebab after a night in a pub you don’t go to a nice Greek restaurant and be surprised to be charged £20. You go where you find like minded people, being satisfied at the kebab van, by the side of the road paying a fiver!
What I do know, it is a minefield that you must be on totally on your guard about. As previous people have told me here before, trust no-one until you can and be resilient to those who will always try it on. It’s just easier to fool at both online.

Stillto · 03/11/2021 07:08

OP please ignore all the sexist shit you’re getting here.

Good luck with your FWB hunt, finding a decent one is everything! The married men are fuckers, the sheer number of them, the brazenness, the wives at home who swear blind their husbands would never cheat, I’m never getting married again.

Go get yours Wink

Hopingforabagofbuttons · 03/11/2021 07:12

Advertising you are looking for FWB is like a dog whistle to married men.
You’re there, you’re willing to fuck, they dont have to put in any ground work whatsoever. It really doesn’t matter, you can have the body and face of a supermodel or the exact opposite, they really aren’t bothered, sex is sex. I’m surprised you are surprised.

girlmom21 · 03/11/2021 07:15

You're not on a dating site if you're looking for a FWB.

You're on a site that says you're up for a shag.

anon12345678901 · 03/11/2021 07:19

OP it's not just the fact that you're after FWB, I'm on dating websites and made it clear I'm looking for a relationship and still get a fair amount of married men or those in relationships.
There's also nothing wrong with you wanting a casual hook up either.

MarshmallowSwede · 03/11/2021 07:21

I mean you posted FWB. That’s the bat signal for bottom feeders. Expect any and all men with a working penis or a prescription for viagra to come knocking. Married men included.

I can only hope that while these scumbags are out here cheating and looking to share their mediocre dicks with women not their wives, that their wives are out with their hotter, better endowed, boyfriends.

Joy69 · 03/11/2021 07:41

Marshmallow - This made me chuckle love it!

I can only hope that while these scumbags are out here cheating and looking to share their mediocre dicks with women not their wives, that their wives are out with their hotter, better endowed, boyfriends

brittleheadgirl · 03/11/2021 07:49

@DerbyshireMama

Er, well done? Loads of married men want to shag you, you must be super desirable, not sure what else you want us to say.
Wow, projecting there a bit aren't we?

Op isn't boasting at all, merely stating that she's shocked at how many sleazy married men are out there!!
Such a ridiculous and pointless response Hmm

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