Married men!!!!

[Sonaftersonafterson]

I'm right in the thick of dating at the moment, seeing someone semi regularly and chatting to a few other guys. Tonight though... I'm just blown away by the constant stream of married men who message me. I've been on the receiving end of adultery, I've dated married men in the past...so I know both sides of this coin but the sheer number shocked me tonight. Out of 11 messages, 8 were married and looking for a FWB. Not even discrete about it, happily sending pics. One guy tonight claiming to be getting divorced sent me a link to his podcast...which links directly to his Instagram, business contacts, wife and 3 kids! Wife is on Instagram saying she is "super proud" of him at some event he organised and all the while, he is sending me the filthiest of suggestions and asking to meet.

Unbelievable. I've seen the devastation this causes and I'm utterly shocked how brazen these guys are and how easily they could be caught out. Yet they dont care...

Is it just me? My profile says I want a FWB but does not say I want a married man!!!

What is wrong with people!!!?

Hehe

I'm meeting mine on Tuesday and my loins are already aflame at the mere thought of him approaching my pantaloons.

And get this, there is another suitor too!

Get me the shame bell, I'll ring the bloody thing myself.

@Journeyofthedragons

They are washed and pressed in anticipation of the disrespect I am about to show myself.

Love your work

Married men will message you because your profile says FWB

Married men want FWB

because they aren't going to leave their wife and if you turn around and say you like them or have feelings they are guilt free because YOU originally said you wanted a FWB situation

You are giving married men a free pass to cheat on their wives and get you for free

Maybe put on your profile NO MARRIED MEN

@Strangevipers

Married men will message you because your profile says FWB

Married men want FWB

because they aren't going to leave their wife and if you turn around and say you like them or have feelings they are guilt free because YOU originally said you wanted a FWB situation

You are giving married men a free pass to cheat on their wives and get you for free

Maybe put on your profile NO MARRIED MEN

Not that stating NO MARRIED MEN will stop them it just covers your defence of feelings get tangled up at some point

Well, yeah. You're looking a long-term relationship that is limited to sex, that's going to be appealing to married men for very obvious reasons.
I imagine most single men will either want to have short-term relationships with a variety of women or to meet a potential partner.
A purely sexual obligation to one woman is sort of the worst of both worlds.

Not really surprised when you put FWB on your profile.

Take that off and then see what happens.

It's completely lost on OP. She tries to twist it into "look at these bitter harpies because I'm a daring to be a woman with a libido". No one cares you want to have string free sex. Good for you. Have it. Don't have it.

Tonnes of us have literally spelled out to her: "You offer string free sex. Cheating married men want that. That's the answer why lots have contacted you. They want a shag they don't have to pay for, with the least chance of getting caught"

OP quite rightly sees herself not as a prostitute. But refuses to see how aligned her sexual preference is, to what a prostitute/escort offers.
The cheating married man does not distinguish. One is string free with no charge. The other he has to fork out for. And still she can't get why they're queuing up. She might not like that this is how they see her. It doesn't change that's what they see.

OP just continues "but there's sooooo many, why would they risk everything just for a shag". Again, OP states she used to sleep with married men. Apparently at that previous point, them risking everything was somehow understandable. But baffling to her now...

This is not about people fearing how shitty their husbands are. This is OP trying to make a mountain of out a very basic concept. No one cares if you shag about. No one's calling you a slag (regarding your weird post letting us know you don't have your tits out, literally no one's said that). No one is stuck in the dark ages. Literally shag what you like, and enjoy. But the "I just can't believe how many married men contact someone just after a shag as well" is tedious.

‘And get this, there is another suitor too!

Get me the shame bell, I'll ring the bloody thing myself.’

@Getbehindme

You ring the shame bell and someone get me a priest.

I have a nice rotation of 4 between the ages of 28 and 57 😊🥰

Why are you acting like you're being shamed? No one's said that. It's very immature and lacking of understanding of the rest of the posters.

@BreadPita

Well, yeah. You're looking a long-term relationship that is limited to sex, that's going to be appealing to married men for very obvious reasons. I imagine most single men will either want to have short-term relationships with a variety of women or to meet a potential partner. A purely sexual obligation to one woman is sort of the worst of both worlds.

I agree.

I suppose it is useful for the men who do not wish to have multiple sex partners.

Lets them know.

Everyone does it if they can get away with it. Married, single etc doesn't come into it.

That does seem like a lot and the one you talk about is clearly brazen AF, but advertising that you want a FWB is bound to send you a high volume of chancers.

Not suggesting there is anything wrong with wanting an FWB, have been there myself...but this is a side effect of being upfront about it that you just have to shrug your shoulders and wade through.

@MintyCedric

That does seem like a lot and the one you talk about is clearly brazen AF, but advertising that you want a FWB is bound to send you a high volume of chancers.

Not suggesting there is anything wrong with wanting an FWB, have been there myself...but this is a side effect of being upfront about it that you just have to shrug your shoulders and wade through.

Think this is the most sensible reply. Not that OP wanting a FWB means she is facilitating affairs, but that messages from married men is a side effect of that unfortunately.

The point that the op is trying to make is that she's amazed that so many married men are out there wanting string-free sex from other women.

The thread has been completely derailed by the FWB detail and I think perhaps if she were a sex worker saying 'I'm amazed at how many married men out there blah blah...' we would all be nodding our heads sagely in agreement and acknowledging the actual point of the thread. Instead, posters are being almost apologist to the men by saying that if the op is going to flout her no-strings sexual preferences all over the internet then what did she expect? These men can't help it you know! And this is a form of slut shaming the op, and turning the very real issue that the op is trying to make on its head.

Op, I'm very sorry to hear that this is going on and I think it's a really sad indictment of men's general attitude towards women today, not helped by the easy porn, throw away culture that we seem to have slid into.

There are obviously some people on here who are anti FWB and have very strong feelings about cheating, understandably.

But honestly, it's just realism. No-one wants to think their partner would cheat, and we all like to think we'd take the moral high ground 100% of the time, but sometimes human beings give I to their baser instincts.

It may not be pretty, or wise or admirable but that's human nature.

As for the OP...that does seem a very high number. But tbh even if you weren't looking for FWB, you'll always get the occasional MM...what is it they say? God loves a trier!

From OPs pov at least they are being upfront with her so she can can bin them off as is her preference and doesn't unknowingly get involved with someone who isn't available.