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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Confused, gambling, cocaine partner

149 replies

TetherEnd2021 · 02/11/2021 18:30

k, I'm not really sure where to start but just feel I need to reach out for advice or support of some sort.
I have been with my partner 2 years and this year we bought a house with a joint mortgage. For the 1st year I knew he enjoyed gambling a bit but it took me a while to recognise the 100 he said he spent a month gambling was actually 600.
He gets paid very well but still runs out every month and I end up paying for bread, milk, little bits and bobs at the end of the month on half his wage. It took a while to realise as it was quite subtle. At the same time he has been taking coke most weekends, usually with me and a group of friends and even though it's not something I'm particuarly bothered about I have joined in but can say no. Recently it's become apparent he is doing it on his own when I'm in bed, being completely irresponsible with money and I can't trust him to be honest with me.
I'm trying hard to lead a healthier life and he doesn't seem to want to change. It feels like now I'm aware of the truth he just does it blatantly as much as he likes. There have been lots of occassions where I have said please can you not do it around your family or my friends, or its a school night, Im not joining in etc etc and he will have a few drinks and them just start saying lets get some coke in to whoever is there.
I recognise I have enabled the situation but he has been doing it for years before I met him and I have only done it once or twice before we met and I know I can go without and he will just lie and get it once Im in bed on his own.
We don't have children but talk about it in the future, I suppose Im writing because I can't believe he will ever change or be able to, he just says what I want to hear then goes behind my back.
For most of you reading it's an obvious choice to leave him but I worry about him and care for his wellfare. He has a lot of behviours which are eccentric, loud, amusing, charismatic but also forgetful, disorganised, can't do any household chores without breaking something, doesnt pay attention when I listen to him and often zones out, leaves door wide open, hob on, just dangerous stuff.....hence why I worry, but Im also wondering if he has ADHD and this is causing his impulsive behaviours with addiction and gambling.
He can be very kind and loving and I feel like he means well and can be supportive if Im really upset...if only for a short while. Im confused because everyone seems to think hes great and will make a good dad and I just worry too much. I feel like I worry for good reason and they just dont live with him and can't see him for who he is.
Also he gambles on one sport a year and he tends to win alot more than he loses. (From what I know) so am I being over dramatic or is this a sign of something else e.g ADHD or is he just an ass.

OP posts:
stopblowingyournose · 02/11/2021 21:13

You are already wiping this guy's arse far too much. If you have children with him at best you will have to do everything and at worst he will be a liability if not a risk to the kid.

You are attempting to pathologies his behaviour and I get that - because it's less painful than just leaving him. But honestly just rip the plaster off - by new year you will be euphoric with the freedom of not having to parent an adult.

TetherEnd2021 · 02/11/2021 21:13

@Dery again a very good insight, yes I suppose from my chilhood experiences I want to see the best in people and help them and have become a rescuer. So thats great to recognise and lets say I leave him....how do I prevent this again I have had counselling etc but I lead a sucessful life and can be very independant however I naturally have looked to careers in care and therapy as well as having partners and friends who need looking after. It may be a resulr of upbringing but I have helped a lot of people in other aspects of life, i wont stop being who I am ai just need to protect myself. The rescuer thing is not always a negative

OP posts:
DismantledKing · 02/11/2021 21:15

Being a ‘rescuer’ is always a negative.

Watchingyou2sleezes · 02/11/2021 21:20

I lost interest half way through your first post

Anyone snorting coke in the house on their own is a total fucking loser.

As for your joint coke taking - unless he's sniffing off of your quim- get a grip.

Get out now.

userxx · 02/11/2021 21:22

@Watchingyou2sleezes

I lost interest half way through your first post

Anyone snorting coke in the house on their own is a total fucking loser.

As for your joint coke taking - unless he's sniffing off of your quim- get a grip.

Get out now.

Spot on.

TetherEnd2021 · 02/11/2021 21:22

@spotcheck I am tryley sorry to hear that and I do worry, i need to stop joining in I agree, I cant prevent his behaviour but I can my own and my own life is not worth it. I really need to just get away from this. Its making me so depressed

OP posts:
TetherEnd2021 · 02/11/2021 21:23

@Watchingyou2sleezes you need help yourself, what an odd thing to write

OP posts:
TetherEnd2021 · 02/11/2021 21:25

@stopblowingyournose thankyou again very kind words and helpful. I came on here for support and advice. Im not adverse to changing I just wanted to collect my thoughts and come to a conclusion. Some people on here are very hateful and need to look in the mirror

OP posts:
ModMajGeneral · 02/11/2021 21:36

So the mortgage is in both our names. All bills come from his account so if he messes up its on him. I send him money for bills and mirtgage each month

How do you know that he is paying the mortgage? Do you have the statement?

SparklyDino · 02/11/2021 21:53

You can't fix him. You can care about him and still leave him. If I was you I'd be checking that the mortgage has actually been paid. :(

QuestionNumberOne · 02/11/2021 21:56

Absolute insanity to do anything other than leave him immediately.

Never have children with this man - it would be very wrong of you, cruel and irresponsible of both of you.

You can do this.

EarthSight · 02/11/2021 21:56

My advice, from seeing the same patterns over and over again here on Mumsnet, is don't have children with him. Often behaviours like this don't get better, they get worse, because sometimes they can be indicative of future mental health problems. They go from spending a little here and there on gambling to spending huge amounts on wild things. You need someone who's stable and someone you can really trust with money if you want to have a baby and lasting relationship with them.

Maybe he's really lovely and charming in other ways, but here are the sorts of things that are never far away with cocaine and this type of personality -

Prostitutes (seriously, it's so common for cocaine, partying and prostitutes to go hand in hand and you've currently got a possible gambling issue to deal with before you even get to the rest of it)

Dangerous driving - they promise their wives they'll never take coke and drive, and then their wives discover one day that the father has driven their little toddler somewhere when he was high or drunk.

Do you think he could change a nappy or handle a baby safely whilst high on drugs? Because that's very well the position you could be in in a few years if he decides to come home from a night out and wants to see his kid. How would you ever trust him if you needed to be away from home for some reason??

AngelicaElizaAndPeggy · 02/11/2021 22:03

You can't stay with this man because you think he's a danger to himself and will struggle without you.

There should be equity in a relationship and it sounds like he brings you nothing but worry and anxiety.

I don't say this often, but you're best off without him. Please don't have a child with this man.

TeeTotaller1 · 02/11/2021 22:16

You sound like a Mother describing their manchild

Seriously
Do
Not
Have
Kids
With
Him

Graphista · 02/11/2021 22:37

Absolutely DO NOT have kids with him!

Gambling is by far the worst addiction but add in the coke and the utter uselessness? Why on EARTH would he make a good father?

I suspect the people saying so are immature, not parents themselves and don't know the full story? Right?

Good grief how long were you with him when you moved in together? 2 years is no time at all, it would be very early to even be moving in together let alone buying somewhere - let me guess that was his idea?

So the mortgage is in both our names. All bills come from his account so if he messes up its on him.

No it's not

You are now legally financially linked as far as credit backgrounds are concerned.

Honestly get rid, sell the property, disentangle yourself from him financially in EVERY way possible

Check your credit rating now - I would not be at all surprised if he already has applied for loans in your name

and nothing can come back to bite me in the ass.

You are so wrong!

You CANNOT help him, the only person who can change this is him and only if he wants to for himself - which it seems clear he doesn't

Addicts lie - very convincingly! Especially gamblers! They are essentially con artists

You're in your 30's? Very unlikely he will change - don't waste your fertile years on this loser

Sounds like he can't even go a day without using coke?

Addict!

Get rid!

The suspected adhd? More likely brain damage (it inhibits oxygen supply to the brain) from the coke general clumsiness, memory lapses, impulsive behaviour etc are the best known neuro effects of coke

He may have had tia's (small strokes) which he hasn't noticed/had treated which were caused by his drug use and are causing the symptoms you're attributing to ADHD

www.priorygroup.com/blog/the-short-and-long-term-effects-of-cocaine-on-the-body

Spend some time single - at least a year! Do the freedom programme or similar or get good therapy

You rushed into this relationship 2 years is no time at all.

Neurophysiologically the 1st 18 months in a relationship you have rose tinted glasses on and simultaneously both parties are on best behaviour. You can't imo properly know someone until you've been with them a few years and gone through tough times with them before making a commitment

If he genuinely had adhd ironically coke actually helps it not exacerbates it

All the symptoms you're describing are far more likely due to coke addiction and heavy use.

I reckon he's using a LOT more than he's telling you - daily too

I'm from a family that one side is full of addicts, mainly alcohol but also gambling and a couple it was coke - this is exactly what they were like just prior to getting to the point their lives were at risk due to how much they were taking. Both went into rehab and are now clean and sober BUT they did it because they wanted to not for anyone else and they didn't do it alone or by "willpower" alone because it cannot ime be done that way.

There is being kind...and there is being someone's mug! You need help to learn the difference I think that's what therapy and taking some space by being single will help you do

Coke is extremely physically addictive - from the beginning it ignites that part of the brain and the brain never recovers - ever! It's changed permanently.

And that's without god knows what crap mixed in with it by dealers to increase their profits!

Being a "rescuer" is not a positive thing it's a dysfunctional thing, you can be a good kind person without being a "rescuer"

altmember · 02/11/2021 23:06

You're living in a 1 bed apartment and want kids. Covering the mortgage on that should be easy between 2 of you. Most normal people would be over paying and saving like crazy to move up the ladder. But instead, your husband is snorting and gambling it away. Transferring your wages to him and having the bills come out of his account is highly risky in the circumstances too - you won't know he's spent you money on his vices until you start missing payments. And by then your credit rating will be fucked.

And I've not even mentioned the addiction problems themselves, but I expect there's 4 pages of posts telling you to kick him to the kerb. This won't get better, certainly at least not until he's hit rock bottom. And at the moment he's nowhere near there. You won't be able to change him, only he can do that, and only if he really really wants to.

Amortentia · 02/11/2021 23:36

Speaking as the child of a gambler, run while you can. Gamblers can't be saved, they just escalate and hone their ability to lie and justify to themselves that the can control it.

Don't end up like my mum, with a house full of children with no food in the cupboards, no heating and threats of repossession. But a highly paid husband who didn't care about anything but gambling.

ModMajGeneral · 02/11/2021 23:40

Gamblers don’t pay the mortgage - they gamble it.

Peach01 · 03/11/2021 00:03

This sounds like a past relationship of mine.
I supported him to stop gambling, smoking and taking cocaine. The support I gave ended up enabling him because he had nothing to lose. I was sticking around to hold it together and make him better. I helped him emotionally and financially. I latched on to the good qualities that dwindled over time. The relationship changed, he lied often and I didn't recognise him or myself. He manipulated me and I couldn't see it. After years of this he dumped me on a cocaine binge. I never took him back.

He's now married with children and is a worse version of the person I knew.

Do not have children with him. Look after yourself. He's heading down a rocky road where he's leading the way and you'll get dragged along. His gambling and drug taking is already having a serious impact on your life. He's taking cocaine while sitting on his own, he's far gone. These aren't problems that are easily fixed without proper help. You don't need to put yourself through all of this.

Bananalanacake · 03/11/2021 07:12

900 a month on gambling and coke, is that a typo. What a waste of money.

cooldarkroom · 03/11/2021 07:15

I know someone who got into a rage whilst needing his next line, he was in the car with his wife & toddlers, he got into a rage & kicked out the car radio as she was driving...
The point being you will never be able to let him alone with your child.
Will he take kid along to pick up his next packet?
Will he end up partying with mates & get high when in charge of DC?
What happens when you are sick?
What happens when he forgets to collect DC
Having a child alone is hard, & harder hiding the fathers addiction from school, & social services

Theuniverseandeverything · 03/11/2021 07:29

I would be very wary about all the money you are giving him.

Whydidimarryhim · 03/11/2021 07:31

Hi op - may seem a bit odd but have a look at CODA - codependents anonymous re your traits of rescuer and or Adult children of alcoholics and or dysfunctional families. You may find these helpful going forward.

Sadly your partner is an addict. The honey moon bubble has burst and this is who he is.
You do need to end it as this will be your miserable life.
He pays the bills. - all well and good until bailiffs are knocking on the door or the house is being repossessed.
He needs to seek help for himself. He’s an addict.
If you bring children into the world with him as the father they maybe damaged.
Look up the two fellowships - the traits we carry from having a neglected childhood - how we can end up being an addict or marrying one - how we have an over developed sense of responsibility - how we put others needs before our own - many many more.
It’s tough I’m sure -

Atla · 03/11/2021 07:52

Your post is ringing a lot of bells with me as he sounds a lot like my ex. I know for me there was a 'sunk costs' equation going on in my head - we had been together a long time, it was so good at the start and the feeling that if he would only be different we could get back to that.

But, you need to be honest with yourself and really recognise who he is, not who you want him to be. Look at all you are doing for him, managing his finances, being his 'conscience' on a night out. You say you feel like his mum - I know what a turn off that is (for both of you). It's easy to focus so much on him and his needs and his mental health - but what about you? What do you want? What do you deserve? Can he give it to you? Look at his actions not his words.

I thank my lucky stars every day that I didn't have children with my ex - he went on to treat his now-partner exactly the same, worse, getting arrested, in and out of rehab for years, huge debts. Keep an eye on your credit rating (voice of experience!)

TetherEnd2021 · 03/11/2021 08:13

A lot of these comments arent helpful. As I have said I check his bank statements when they come through, I also have access to his bank account whenever Ive asked and I keep hold of money from him every month to cover extra costs. Ive checked my credit rating just now and as I suspected its fine. I also have 10k of his savings in my savings account so he doesnt blow it. Therefore if he did fuck up on a months or twos mortgage the house would be on the market and I would take the money from his savings to pay for it. You're all acting like Im really stupid and havent thought anything through. I understand what gamblers and addicts can be like and I do love him. The rescuer thing maybe partly true but I came here thinking I should leave him and not 100 per cent sure that he would change in the future. You all telling me a mug is just disrespectful. Its none of you that have just started fresh away from friends family and a new job etc and now have to reverse it all. Its a big decision and not one I take lightly

OP posts: