Absolutely DO NOT have kids with him!
Gambling is by far the worst addiction but add in the coke and the utter uselessness? Why on EARTH would he make a good father?
I suspect the people saying so are immature, not parents themselves and don't know the full story? Right?
Good grief how long were you with him when you moved in together? 2 years is no time at all, it would be very early to even be moving in together let alone buying somewhere - let me guess that was his idea?
So the mortgage is in both our names. All bills come from his account so if he messes up its on him.
No it's not
You are now legally financially linked as far as credit backgrounds are concerned.
Honestly get rid, sell the property, disentangle yourself from him financially in EVERY way possible
Check your credit rating now - I would not be at all surprised if he already has applied for loans in your name
and nothing can come back to bite me in the ass.
You are so wrong!
You CANNOT help him, the only person who can change this is him and only if he wants to for himself - which it seems clear he doesn't
Addicts lie - very convincingly! Especially gamblers! They are essentially con artists
You're in your 30's? Very unlikely he will change - don't waste your fertile years on this loser
Sounds like he can't even go a day without using coke?
Addict!
Get rid!
The suspected adhd? More likely brain damage (it inhibits oxygen supply to the brain) from the coke general clumsiness, memory lapses, impulsive behaviour etc are the best known neuro effects of coke
He may have had tia's (small strokes) which he hasn't noticed/had treated which were caused by his drug use and are causing the symptoms you're attributing to ADHD
www.priorygroup.com/blog/the-short-and-long-term-effects-of-cocaine-on-the-body
Spend some time single - at least a year! Do the freedom programme or similar or get good therapy
You rushed into this relationship 2 years is no time at all.
Neurophysiologically the 1st 18 months in a relationship you have rose tinted glasses on and simultaneously both parties are on best behaviour. You can't imo properly know someone until you've been with them a few years and gone through tough times with them before making a commitment
If he genuinely had adhd ironically coke actually helps it not exacerbates it
All the symptoms you're describing are far more likely due to coke addiction and heavy use.
I reckon he's using a LOT more than he's telling you - daily too
I'm from a family that one side is full of addicts, mainly alcohol but also gambling and a couple it was coke - this is exactly what they were like just prior to getting to the point their lives were at risk due to how much they were taking. Both went into rehab and are now clean and sober BUT they did it because they wanted to not for anyone else and they didn't do it alone or by "willpower" alone because it cannot ime be done that way.
There is being kind...and there is being someone's mug! You need help to learn the difference I think that's what therapy and taking some space by being single will help you do
Coke is extremely physically addictive - from the beginning it ignites that part of the brain and the brain never recovers - ever! It's changed permanently.
And that's without god knows what crap mixed in with it by dealers to increase their profits!
Being a "rescuer" is not a positive thing it's a dysfunctional thing, you can be a good kind person without being a "rescuer"