Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Team Ioan Gruffudd or Alice Evans?

1000 replies

BabyBearRus · 30/10/2021 00:47

I've been following the story around the breakup of Ioan and Alice. I haven't been a great fan of Alice in the past, but I do feel for her and her children right now. Who else thinks that Ioan has behaved atrociously to his family? According to his wife, he has been having an affair for a long while, and making her feel as though she was in the wrong for months.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
28
LoekMa · 04/11/2021 21:37
Confused Confused Confused
sunglassesonthetable · 04/11/2021 21:38

Is it that obvious? I thought she would be more stealth and undercover. Maybe with sunglassesonherface instead

Am I Alice? Fucks sake. You are obsessed.
You can search me all over MN. I haven't name changed for years.

But crack on. 🙄

sunglassesonthetable · 04/11/2021 21:46

@Bluntness100 @LoekMa

Here you are accusing people of 'being unwell" or drunk. By way of 'faux concern'
And yes Totally weaponising mental health.

And why? because they disagreed with you? On an internet forum? Talking about people you don't even know.

Jeez guys, get a bloody grip.

You're coming across as complete weirdos.
( Never mind the bile you're spouting about this person you seem to hate so much)

AllTheUsernamesAreAlreadyTaken · 04/11/2021 21:47

It’s so strange how posters think a woman who has been left by her husband of 20 years, the father of her children, is completely out of order for lashing out online;
Yet these same posters, are being abusive to another poster who is a complete stranger because she simply disagrees with them.

mylovelydd · 04/11/2021 21:48

It’s so strange how posters think a woman who has been left by her husband of 20 years, the father of her children, is completely out of order for lashing out online;
Yet these same posters, are being abusive to another poster who is a complete stranger because she simply disagrees with them

100% this.

mylovelydd · 04/11/2021 21:49

Bold fail yet again 😩

LoekMa · 04/11/2021 21:59

@AllTheUsernamesAreAlreadyTaken

It’s so strange how posters think a woman who has been left by her husband of 20 years, the father of her children, is completely out of order for lashing out online; Yet these same posters, are being abusive to another poster who is a complete stranger because she simply disagrees with them.
Uhm..we are all strangers here so...Confused

And my posts are in accordance with MN Guidelines. Weaponising the word "abusive" is a moot point as I know its not the case.
Just because I am not part of your echo chamber doesnt make my opinions less valid than yours. ;)

Bluntness100 · 04/11/2021 22:01

I was just looking at twitter again and noticed the comments from this morning have been deleted, where someone commented she was drunk and slurring and she attacked them for it. So defintely some social media management going on,

AllTheUsernamesAreAlreadyTaken · 04/11/2021 22:02

Oh @LoekMa

I hope you’re happier than this is real life

LoekMa · 04/11/2021 22:14

@Bluntness100

I was just looking at twitter again and noticed the comments from this morning have been deleted, where someone commented she was drunk and slurring and she attacked them for it. So defintely some social media management going on,
Yesss @Bluntness100 she has definitely been doing some damage control.
LoekMa · 04/11/2021 22:15

@AllTheUsernamesAreAlreadyTaken

Oh *@LoekMa*

I hope you’re happier than this is real life

🤭 yawn.
2ndMrsdeWinter · 04/11/2021 22:29

She is fucking mad as hell and why should she not say so?

It isn’t what I’d personally do in this situation but I don’t think there are wrong or right ways to grieve the end of a relationship, just personal preferences.

I hope her outpouring helps her to come to terms with her situation. I

Autumnleavesfalling · 04/11/2021 22:44

She seems like a woman on the edge to me. If it were me I would hope a friend would step in, gently remove my phone and hold me while I ugly cried.

It's distasteful that the media are encouraging this voyeurism at a woman who is clearly very distressed at the breakdown of her marriage.

It isn't inspirational, it's very sad.

KosherDill · 04/11/2021 23:01

@CecilieRose

You know, I agree with her. People will say things about keeping your dignity and not airing dirty laundry but why should she do that? Why shouldn't she be honest about how hurt she is and how this has destroyed her family? She's not lying, is she?
I agree.

Where is his effort to preserve a stable environment for his daughters? He leaves town and then acts the out-upon martyr? Letting media imply Alice is crazy rather than justifiably outraged.

He chose her as mother of his children. It's a little late to kick that life to the curb and take up with someone young enough to be his daughter.

MyDogLovesBiscuits · 04/11/2021 23:08

When there are children involved I would argue that there are right ways to grieve.
Making a public showcase of various things that could be easily used against you in a case of parental alienation, I would say, is the wrong way.

Nobody who reads what Alice Evans has written herself can come away without knowing how damaging stuff like that is to children right? You don't need special safeguarding training or a degree in child psychology and development to know that. It's plain as the nose on your face.

She has stated that she is directly drawing one into damaging emotionally pressurised situations eg the having her eldest "talk her down".
She's made derogatory comparisons about her eldest and her exH.
She's made a slew of, at times quite extreme, accusations and personal comments about her exH.
She seems to be inebriated or otherwise compromised a lot.
She gets into quite aggressive arguments with people.

Apart from the fact that the children are either seeing all this directly now or will be able to access everything at some point online, even the really nasty stuff she had deleted - people are quick with screenshots etc, she isn't modelling great behaviour in general.

I totally understand the want to have your say when you are the harmed party - and it's very clear this is how Alice feels - but when you have children, going scorched earth regardless of how it will negatively impact the children completely disregarding the certainty that it is negatively impacting the children is not the way to go.

Does she have any family of her own? I wonder if even if she does have people like family or a friend IRL, is she the sort of person to recognise she is in serious emotional trouble here and that she needs help? Would she accept it if it were offered?

If she does have someone IRL I really hope that they are there as a safety net, the children definitely need extra support right now and Alice could really do with it too.

I do feel sorry for her because I'm absolutely sure she is hurting, however I found myself agreeing with @Bluntness100 a lot over this thread and it bears repeating that even if she is really in pain, it's no excuse for abuse.
What she's doing is wrong ultimately because it will damage the children. Agree with PP who said reverse the sexes and people would not be so gentle.

Alice if you are on here, I'm not trying to kick you while you're down.

But please, come away from the social media. Write it in a journal as a PP said instead.
Seek therapy, what you are doing is not healthy.
You are damaging your children with your behaviour, I'm sure you don't mean to but you have to stop burying your head in the sand and face the fact that you are. Stop it. Support your children, talk to them in age appropriate ways. Don't encourage bad behaviour or otherwise alienate them from their father.
If you are dependent on any substances or alcohol, don't be ashamed, please seek help, you can do it.
Find real life friends who don't encourage the dark, the doom and the gloom. Find friends who will commiserate but encourage you to keep on keeping on, find the lighter side and not let you fall into this cycle of hurt you seem to be in.
Start a thread, change details obvs, and get some positive support from people here in the relationships board.

LoekMa · 05/11/2021 06:06

Well atleast she finally admitted what her main motivation is to drag out the divorce as long as possible.

Team Ioan Gruffudd or Alice Evans?
Team Ioan Gruffudd or Alice Evans?
ButYouGottaHaveASkillJeff · 05/11/2021 06:50

[quote sunglassesonthetable]**@Bluntness100* @LoekMa*

Here you are accusing people of 'being unwell" or drunk. By way of 'faux concern'
And yes Totally weaponising mental health.

And why? because they disagreed with you? On an internet forum? Talking about people you don't even know.

Jeez guys, get a bloody grip.

You're coming across as complete weirdos.
( Never mind the bile you're spouting about this person you seem to hate so much)

[/quote]

Their posts are toe curling.

HattieHottoe · 05/11/2021 08:09

I wish Ioan every happiness.

It sounds like he's been enduring an abusive relationship for many years and I bet his family have been deeply concerned about him.

It sounds like the kids would be better off with him in the long run. I hope he goes for full custody.

I hope Alice gets some real life support and starts the healing process soon. She needs to get off social media, it really can't be good for her mental health.

Glassofshloer · 05/11/2021 09:23

Me too @HattieHottoe

I went into this assuming her as the victim and him as the creep who left a loyal wife for a younger model.

I’m really not so sure any more. I have human empathy for her as a person who has been dumped, but if I’m being very honest, if her behaviour has been like this all these years - histrionic, hysterical, emotional blackmail - he must be absolutely exhausted and probably needs somebody to show him some enjoyment & light again.

sunglassesonthetable · 05/11/2021 09:35

Well atleast she finally admitted what her main motivation is to drag out the divorce as long as possible.

Well, it's not really that is it. Grow up.

You're still coming across as obsessed tbh

*@LoekMa *

ooo it's Alice! 🙄

Glassofshloer · 05/11/2021 09:41

Sunglasses, do you really not find it unedifying or even selfish to:

  1. Demand spousal support for life
  2. Admit you’re refusing a divorce so they can never marry anyone else
  3. Post rants on the internet for your kids to see not just in the immediate aftermath but a year later?!
  4. Try to stop your partner from speaking their native language to their own family
  5. Leave comments about their new partner online including comments about the way they look, how they should watch out etc
  6. Share the details of your kid’s emotional upset online for the world to see

I could go on, there’s more.

Do you?

sunglassesonthetable · 05/11/2021 10:11

*Sunglasses, do you really not find it

  1. Demand spousal support for life
  2. Admit you’re refusing a divorce so they can never marry anyone else
  3. Post rants on the internet for your kids to see not just in the immediate aftermath but a year later?!
  4. Try to stop your partner from speaking their native language to their own family
  5. Leave comments about their new partner online including comments about the way they look, how they should watch out etc
  6. Share the details of your kid’s emotional upset online for the world to see

I could go on, there’s more.

Do you?*

  1. Has she really? She's mad tweeting ( or have you seen lawyers papers? )❌
  2. where is that 'admitted'. ? ❌
  3. Agree. Very Poor Decision.✅
  4. Umm really? You KNOW that?❌
  5. Nope I wouldn't do it.✅
  6. No should not do it. ✅

I see she is behaving in a really self destructive way. And I feel so sorry for the kids because of it. And I feel incredibly sorry for her.

But I can not buy into this whole black and white he = right, she = wrong, nonsense . With posters claiming to 'know' what is going on, rather than just admitting full speculation from behind their computers.

Taking emotional 'tweets' and reading them as "admissions". WTF And declaring this or that is happening.

It's embarrassing for them really.

Are YOU going to tell me I'm "unwell" or "drunk" now like those two last night?
Obsessive or what?

oh and by the way I'm Alice

sunglassesonthetable · 05/11/2021 10:13

@Glassofshloer

Sorry I can not seem to bold to save my life.

LoekMa · 05/11/2021 10:27

@sunglassesonthetable

Well atleast she finally admitted what her main motivation is to drag out the divorce as long as possible.

Well, it's not really that is it. Grow up.

You're still coming across as obsessed tbh

@LoekMa

ooo it's Alice! 🙄

Alice, this too shall pass. Eventually
sunglassesonthetable · 05/11/2021 11:07

Alice, this too shall pass. Eventually

If only there was an ounce of genuine kindness in that.

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

This thread is not accepting new messages.
Swipe left for the next trending thread