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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Dating thread 216 ... spooky fun in cuffing season

988 replies

BelladiMamma · 26/10/2021 22:22

Hi everyone

Can someone else please copy and paste the rules as my screenshot is crap 💩

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BelladiMamma · 29/10/2021 12:20

Happy birthday to @JustAnother0ldMan and @Isitreallyme177 😁👻🎃

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Moopyhereagain · 29/10/2021 12:36

So date zero for tonight has just cancelled for undisclosed ‘family emergency’… to rearrange for next week. What do you reckon? One cancel then that’s it if won’t firm up alternative? I do like him but he’s super vague and breadcrumby

Onemorego2021 · 29/10/2021 12:41

Hi I’m new, have been reading this thread with interest 😀. learning as I go! Am a complete old novice. Late 40s married for 20+ years very long divorce… only one Dc at home still. Finally feel like I would like someone to go out with/ fwb? Definitely not looking for marriage.
So I took plunge and signed up to match but I’m clueless…. Have been messaging someone for a couple of weeks seems lovely but messages are spaced usually by a couple of days , long interesting messages, but my question is what point do you suggest WhatsApp (why WhatsApp and not text?) no mention of meeting as yet. We live quite far apart but I’m fine with that. Other than that I guess I’m quite passive, have had a couple of weird messages and that’s about it. Any advice appreciated 🤦🏼‍♀️

Isitreallyme177 · 29/10/2021 12:45

@BelladiMamma thanks you're right it's best said sober.

@Shayelle2009 thank you. I've just been to the hairdressers as well. I'm supposed to be going out tonight but my friend has been complaining all week that she is ill and I haven't heard from her yet so it's not looking good.

Isitreallyme177 · 29/10/2021 12:46

@JustAnother0ldMan happy birthday🍁🍾🎂🥳

Moopyhereagain · 29/10/2021 12:51

@Onemorego2021 hi am in similar boat, 20 yr marriage, one dc left still at home just getting going with OLD. What’s app def seems to be the way - think mix of phones android/apple and sms more complicated. I know virtually nothing but the ones I’ve connected with we would def move to what’s app after 2 weeks. If you want to can’t hurt to suggest?

VanGoghsDog · 29/10/2021 13:05

WhatsApp is just easier I think, better functionality. But if you want to stop contact you just block and delete, I don't find it intrusive.

If they text too much I just mute them and check when I feel like it.

I find messaging via dating apps irritating for various reasons. And annoying to have to check different apps all the time (I'll always be checking WA anyway) or have several different notifications popping up.

I don't think "moving to WA" is an an indicator of anything in particular though.

Naimee87 · 29/10/2021 13:23

I move to WA really quickly as i hate checking the apps again and really sometimes forget about the app chats. I've never read into it as meaning things are 'progressing' ...

Happy Birthday to @Isitreallyme177 hope you're friend comes through for you, shame we're in different countries i've a bottle of prosecco chilling which i'd have happily shared with you to celebrate! and to you too @JustAnother0ldMan enjoy your weekend i hope it's it's super Spectacluar Grin

Shayelle2009 · 29/10/2021 13:39

Yeah hope your friend rocks up!! Glass of bubbly will perk her up!

MizK · 29/10/2021 13:39

@Isitreallyme177 @JustAnother0ldMan happy birthday!

@Shayelle2009 haircut sounds chic! Have a fab, mischief filled time!

@Moopyhereagain I'd say give another chance if you're feeling he might be worth it but it's so annoying to be cancelled on the day of. Things truly come up in life unexpectedly though so, if genuine, he deserves another go.

@onemorego2021 I usually go to WhatsApp at the point meeting up has been suggested- i just use WhatsApp more than text but no reason text wouldn't work. WhatsApp also gives more opportunity to overanalyse last seen etc if you're that way inclined (guilty!).

MrBody messaged to cancel tomorrow 😑 what confuses me is that in his message he was saying how hot my new WhatsApp pic is and that he hopes I don't go on another bumble date tomorrow. Now his vibe was completely genuine, warm and lovely in person but my gut was telling me this would happen so I wonder whether it's just flannel! Now the scramble to make plans for my precious child free time begins 😭

JustAnother0ldMan · 29/10/2021 14:27

Thanks all, I’m absolutely sure it’s going to be great Smile

BelladiMamma · 29/10/2021 14:32

Is it your birthday and the dirty weekend this very weekend...?

I have MrSardinia tonight, gig with my only bi girlfriend tomorrow night, MrActor Sunday (if he doesn't cancel)

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Slothmomma · 29/10/2021 14:43

Happy birthday @Isitreallyme177 and @justanotheroldman - hope you have fab bday weekends!

I'm just waiting for kids to be collected for weekend and then I need to get my ass into gear and get ready for mr m's arrival as we are heading into city early for dinner and cocktails before the show. I'm feeling pretty meh in myself though and bloaty as period due 😖

SpringlikeBunk · 29/10/2021 14:47

Happy birthday @Isitreallyme177 and @JustAnother0ldMan

Shops and city centre feeling all “buzzy” now

BelladiMamma · 29/10/2021 15:07

@Slothmomma

Happy birthday *@Isitreallyme177 and @justanotheroldman* - hope you have fab bday weekends!

I'm just waiting for kids to be collected for weekend and then I need to get my ass into gear and get ready for mr m's arrival as we are heading into city early for dinner and cocktails before the show. I'm feeling pretty meh in myself though and bloaty as period due 😖

Ugh I'm due on too. Drink lots of water. Avoid sugar!
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JustAnother0ldMan · 29/10/2021 15:10

@BelladiMamma

Is it your birthday and the dirty weekend this very weekend...?

I have MrSardinia tonight, gig with my only bi girlfriend tomorrow night, MrActor Sunday (if he doesn't cancel)

It sure is Smile
BelladiMamma · 29/10/2021 15:15

@JustAnother0ldMan excellent! Enjoy 😊

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WeWantTheFinestWines · 29/10/2021 15:16

@BelladiMamma

My living arrangements are far from ideal. DC are 13 and 15 so this will be an issue for some time. I would prefer it if we could sell the house and do what everyone else does, but there is now way we could both buy 3-bed properties with what we would get and as we have kids 50/50 we would really need that. We're in quite an expensive part of the country and my ex is on UC.

Upsides are stability for DC who don't have to move back and forth + ex and I get on quite well - as long as we are not living together. And the house is nice. Massive downside is our alternative accommodation is expensive and not available all the time so there are periods when we will not be able to stay there so will be stuck in the house together. We can be civil and make it work but it's not ideal.

Re your friend and memoir - I work with people at the end of their lives often, and they sometimes ask me if I can help them die. Assisted dying is a hugely important subject - I hope your friend isn't experiencing the issue first hand, but presumably is very close to it. Can't think of many worse places to be.

On a separate note - @Isitreallyme177, you really need to find out where he's at in his head, don't you? You are so invested and hopeful and while he clearly enjoys your company, I can't help but think you are on completely different pages and you could be headed for heartbreak if he meets someone else? As I've said before - ime, words matter more than actions in situations where someone says "I don't want a girlfriend" or "I just see us as friends" and then acts like you're the best thing since sliced bread. I've been there and I regretted bitterly not believing him when he told me he didn't want a relationship, rather than think that introducing me to his parents and taking me to fancy restaurants and away for weekends must mean that he wanted a relationship with me. He really didn't. This is obviously not the same situation, but your feelings for him seem to be so all consuming that I can't help but worry about you. I am willing him to be falling for you!!!

WeWantTheFinestWines · 29/10/2021 15:17

Oh, and well jel of you lot meeting up irl. I wish there was more of us down here in the middle of the south...

StartingAgain6369 · 29/10/2021 15:46

Happy birthday @Isitreallyme177 and @JustAnother0ldMan

Have a great day and a lovely weekend

StartingAgain6369 · 29/10/2021 15:49

Hello @Onemorego2021 & @Moopyhereagain welcome aboard

SpringlikeBunk · 29/10/2021 15:52

Welcome new people!

When are we doing weekend roll call as I’ve lost track of everyone’s dating?

Isitreallyme177 · 29/10/2021 16:03

Thanks everyone for the birthday wishes.

I've put plan B into action as I called my friend and got no answer so I messaged and said I'm happy to cancel if she isn't feeling up to it. She appeared online on WhatsApp but still hasn't replied. I'm a bit disappointed but that's life.

Plan B is reliable and has just confirmed. No birthday meal out tonight though. Now I just hope Sunday doesn't get cancelled (different people mind you).

BelladiMamma · 29/10/2021 16:23

Well so far MrActor has confirmed and MrSardinia has had to slightly change arrangements but all good so far 🤞🏽

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SpringlikeBunk · 29/10/2021 16:33

Whoop whoop on confirmation @BelladiMamma

Bet you have butterflies! 🥰