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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

The One With The Vintage Dresses From Paris Geller Doesn’t Know About

998 replies

StuckInPollyannaMode · 26/10/2021 17:37

Previous thread here

I’ve lost count of how many threads I’ve had, so I bloody well hope this is the one where he signs!

I think whoever pointed out my mother gave me the dresses out of guilt is right. And don’t worry, I’m not handing them back.

I’m sure you will all enjoy this story. So, my grandmother left me various things in her will. To date I have received only one of them, which I have treasured and looked after for years. That’s why I’m so excited about the dresses.

The one I am particularly sore about is her engagement ring. It’s a diamond trilogy ring. I love it. I love it not because of what it is, but because of what it represents. She always promised it to me, and we were incredibly close (armchair psychologists, this is where you raise an eyebrow and look thoughtfully over the top of your glasses whilst going hmmm) not least because, when I was under a year old, my mother went into hospital to have my brother three months early. They managed to stop labour, but my mother stayed in hospital for nearly four months. I was only allowed to see her once a week, and got so upset at leaving her, that they decided it was best for me not to see her. My grandma moved in to look after me, and effectually became my second mum. I didn’t see my actual mum for nearly 3 months, and then she came home with a new born who needed all the usual attention. And Granny moved out again. When I was 8, she moved in with us and stayed with us until she died. I was the one who found her, when I was 13.

Any wonder I have deep seated issues?! Anyway. Back to the diamond story. She left me the ring. However, my mother has never handed it over. She wears it. I could understand not getting it til I was 21, 25, or 30 …nothing (she gave me half a dozen duck eggs for my 30th present, by the way), but then when my wedding day passed (and no, she didn’t hand it over for him to use as an engagement ring) and then my 40th…well, I’ve pretty much given up hope of getting it.

It was in a letter my grandmother left, not her actual will, and I’ve no idea where the letter is, or if she even still has it.

I have already told my brother that the ring is literally the only thing I will want when the time comes, as I can see her leaving it to my SIL just to spite me.

So, if you’re looking for a reason why I was fucked up enough to marry a loser like Geller, I think my therapist pretty much nailed it with the comment ‘do you think the way your mother replaced you with your brother might have something to do with your competitive relationship with him?’

As you were folks. I’m opening the gin and lighting the fire.

OP posts:
mama3bears · 20/01/2022 12:29

How lovely that they went with who they thought their dad would chose rather than the highest offer.
Congratulations and all the best with the house purchase and move ThanksGin

Mix56 · 20/01/2022 13:04

This has all the right omens, it sounds lovely, & so much better than a characterless new build box on a bare estate
Hoorah, & Hoorah for the Besties

AcrossthePond55 · 20/01/2022 14:56

@Fooshufflewickjbannanapants

Fuck yeah *@StuckInPollyannaMode* !!! I shall drink a glass for you tonight!! Oh the joy and peace of never having shitbagcuntyfeaturegellar in your space EVER is brilliant.

Tbh not signing is not a surprise I would just nice to sign or court before his stupid pre arranged controlling meeting.

Oh the joy and peace of never having shitbagcuntyfeaturegellar in your space EVER is brilliant.

This was one of my 1st thoughts. The idea of never looking at a room and thinking "Geller did this stupid thing there" or "I was sitting here when Geller said....".

One of my dear friend's main reasons for not wanting the 'family home' in the divorce (they sold it & split the money) was because she wanted to live in a place with no memory of her ex or his 'antics' in it. She never allowed her ex past the front porch of her own house for that very reason. Pick ups/drop offs were done at the porch until her DC were old enough to walk by themselves from the front door to and from his car.

DartmoorDoughnut · 20/01/2022 15:11

Argh! Doing the school run walk obvs with a massive smile on my face, congratulations Grin Wine

LostMyLastHatfulOfWords · 20/01/2022 16:08

Toasting you here too!
What a great start to this year.

Starbonnet123 · 20/01/2022 16:38

Absolutely wonderful news ,I'm so happy for you . Congratulations to you and the dollies 💖

SpellitwithaY · 20/01/2022 18:33

That's amazing news and absolutely lovely they sold to the nicest person 🥰

HeyUpits2022 · 20/01/2022 18:52

Woohoo!!

Such great news for you all.

Just out of interest....how many Pinterest boards have you set up today 😁

ByeByeMissAmericanPie · 20/01/2022 23:30

Brilliant @StuckInPollyannaMode… F’ing brilliant news! 🥂🥂🥂

Justilou1 · 21/01/2022 02:21

Just saying if I lived in UK, you’d be getting a visitor and lots of gin & bubbles for housewarming!

Mintyt · 21/01/2022 06:41

I want to say I have followed and followed and am so very please for you.

Mix56 · 21/01/2022 10:15

Ones. no need to let Gellar know just yet, He'll find a way to mess with it

Mix56 · 21/01/2022 10:15

OBVS.

Justilou1 · 21/01/2022 10:29

Absolutely agree with this… any hopes of financial agreements would be down the gurgler if he even heard a a whisper of a rumour.
So… FFS, don’t tell your DB or the Shark.

Justilou1 · 21/01/2022 10:30

Or your Maternal Genetic Unit.

OhCobblers · 21/01/2022 10:53

I want to say I have followed and followed and am so very pleased for you

me too!
i've been reading your threads since day 1 and have been silently willing you on. huge congrats on your new home xx

Monstertrucks · 21/01/2022 13:59

Fantastic news... All the very best for you dear Polly x

ImSoMagical · 21/01/2022 14:05

Ooh congrats! Looking forward to your house updates 😁

ShowMeTheSugar · 21/01/2022 14:49

So delighted for you Grin

Yarboosucks · 21/01/2022 16:56

Another silent follower here, great news. £20k worth of proof that it pays to be a nice person!

StuckInPollyannaMode · 22/01/2022 06:04

Thank you all so much! Fear not, my lovelies, I’ve even got the agent to take it off Rightmove etc so when he does eventually find out he won’t know how much it’s cost - he won’t think to look on land registry in a few months time.

He and I had a huge falling out yesterday. Well, he fell out with me, I maintained what some might call a dignified silence. Actually, I was just busy and couldn’t be bothered to reply. It’s so petty I can’t even be bothered to type it out here! And yes, he’s a floozy. You’re going to love this. He’s been talking to lots of friends about her, very pointedly, obviously hoping it’ll get back to me. Whatever. She’s older, has older children. She’s just out of an emotionally and financially abusive relationship so he’s having to be very cautious and supportive.

Poor woman. I feel like ringing her up to warn her. Honestly, you couldn’t make this shit up.

Re the house, I have told my friends but I haven’t told my family. They will know once I’ve exchanged. Which is hilarious as my parents have accepted an offer on their house and are full on waffling about solicitors and searches and packing etc 😂

Instead, I’m going to tell you about the Great Grandfather Clock War. So, SIL was left her family Grandfather clock. When they first emigrated, many years ago, they asked me to look after it, along with a few other pieces of furniture. Well, the furniture got reclaimed many moons ago - don’t ask, fucking nightmare, I had a thread on here about it at the time - but the clock somehow has just stayed and that’s been fine.

What with the impending move I really need to declutter as much as possible. So I message them to say that I would be grateful at some point in the next month or so if they could arrange to have it collected as I’m having a clear out. DB goes oh, don’t worry, send it home. To which mother says ahahahaha nope, we’re downsizing, nice try. So what do you want me to do with it says I? Bearing in mind she has family in the country and I’ve stored the flipping thing for them for ten years and they’ve barely shown any interest in it.

DB goes ‘why don’t you put it in the car and drop it off when you’re driving down for your ski trip?’

I HAVE SAID NO.

Westley hit the roof. He’s said there’s no way he is facilitating them having it back or seeing me on that trip given the way they have treated me, if they want to see me they’ll have to come to the resort, and if they didn’t want to see me when there was nothing in it for them as far as he is concerned they don’t get to see me when there is something in it for them.

It made my knees go weak, frankly. It was all masterful and protecting and just…wow.

And then he paused and said ‘I’m not trying to control you, I just don’t want you to get hurt or put yourself out for people who haven’t done the same for you so I’m not telling you what to do, I’m telling you that I’ll have no part in it’

Then he gave me the last segment of the last chocolate orange.

OP posts:
DifficultBloodyWoman · 22/01/2022 06:59

Polly, good for you for saying NO. It is the on'y correct answer.

I hope you said that before Westley hit the roof. I’m glad that he is being so supportive. And he gave you the last segment of the chocolate orange! Did it have the centre bit still attached? That is the best bit! It basically doubles the value of the last segment.

Anyway, it is great he is being so supportive but I do hope you said no first. Remember - DB said he didn’t want you to visit if you had a boyfriend with you. I’m assuming that hasn’t changed. And yet he wants you (and Westley) to deliver the clock? Hell, no!

DB is being a hypocrite and it really should be pointed out to him. Can you courier it cash on delivery? Rent a storage unit in his name? Send an official email saying arrange collection by (moving date) or it will donated to charity or used for firewood.

DifficultBloodyWoman · 22/01/2022 07:02

Actually, you should contact SIL, not DB about this. It’s her clock so she should be more motivated to collect it from (from the UK, not the resort!).

StuckInPollyannaMode · 22/01/2022 07:48

I emailed her and copied him in as I asked him a question on something else. Which he didn’t reply to.

And yes, I said a hard no before I told Westley anything about it - I’m my own woman these days! No more second guessing myself. I like his thoughts on things but it’s my show and I’m in charge.

He’d already let me have the middle, @DifficultBloodyWoman 😁

OP posts:
HeyUpits2022 · 22/01/2022 07:49

Then he gave me the last segment of the last chocolate orange.

**

Oh Westley...if ever there was a way to a woman's heart, that is it!
😊

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