Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Where to find friends aged 50-60?

111 replies

OverTheHill50 · 14/10/2021 12:43

OK, they don't have to be exactly 50-60, but I mean my age group (55) and stage of life.

My youngest has gone to uni and DH and I are rattling around. Although we've lived in the same town over 20 years I suddenly feel really lonely and lacking in friends! I've realised how much of our social life revolved around the DC's school and events/ concerts/ other parents etc.
Covid has kiboshed a lot of those friendships/ relationships with hardly anyone socialising over the last 18 months.

I have good friends dotted around up to an hour away, but seeing them always requires advance organisation and planning.

I already do a few hobby things - a music group, book group and an ad hoc walking group, but it seems that most of the people in these are older than me (65+) and although lovely, haven't developed into strong friendships/connections.

Where are all the other 55 year olds? What are they doing?
Are they working and caring for elderly parents with no time for socialising?
I'm not working and sadly lost my remaining parent years ago, so I wonder if perhaps I have more time than others of my age? I don't have any other family except a sibling I don't see much 400 miles away.

OP posts:
TheUnbearable · 14/10/2021 17:18

I’m your age and retired early through ill health. I tried U3A and really thought it would be for me, this was pre lockdown but they were a bit too over friendly, I also tried yoga but again found them a bit intrusive. Possibly what your looking for, I take a while to warm up.

I have become really good mates with a neighbour and the local Vicar as the vicarage backs on to my house. I also have two mates I met through a project I was involved with before I became ill and retired. Obviously we had a mutual interest in that voluntary work.

Where my DS works a couple of bored retirees do a couple of shifts a week. They are around 60 so there are jobs to be had but area dependant I suppose.

TorchFire · 14/10/2021 17:19

@WaterAndTheWild

I was just wondering how people in their 40s make friends!

I'm 44 and have done the usual volunteering and classes - most people are 10-20 years older. I've met some lovely people but no one to really hang out with.. Meetup in my area seems mostly to do with networking - I think I need something more. . . friendly?

The school gate doesn't really work for me either - I can't relax around them for some reason.. I'd love to meet people at the pub but I wasn't sure if women did that?! It heartening to hear they do..

I moved countries last year, just before Covid hit, and have made some new friends despite it — some via DS’s school, one I just met in an art gallery, a couple I met in a pub so small you’re almost sitting on one another’s’ knees, also an artist I bought a print from..
RB68 · 14/10/2021 17:36

Urgh I fall in this category and I am sure I have a different mindset. But I get the everyone at different life stages and struggle to find "like minded" people rather than people my age as such. Have been in the area nigh on 20 yrs but lots and lots of acquaintances and connections but few friends that stick - can have a really convo with or go to places, meet up etc. Its quite frustrating

EdmontinaDonsAutumnalHues · 14/10/2021 17:47

bored retirees …

Gosh. I’m in the stated age group and just starting out on my second career. Don’t expect to be retiring while I’m actually alive …

#LouiseBourgeoisismyrolemodel

thesandwich · 14/10/2021 17:51

Have you had a look at the website restless? Lots of ideas/ events and info.

beautifulview · 14/10/2021 17:59

What area do you live in OP? Maybe you could meet friends from here!

VerveClique · 14/10/2021 18:00

To get what to what, try to actively give what you have. So time, space, companionship, skills. You will be rewarded.

cosmosforall · 14/10/2021 18:16

Hi there @OverTheHill50. You are me, I can't find any either!!!! I'm still working though but as it's all hybrid still have lots of time on my hands.

I am Kent too. DM me and maybe we can start something up???!!!!?!!!

Onelifeonly · 14/10/2021 18:22

I'm older than you but pretty much everyone I know of my age still works, part time if not full time. Some were planning to retire pre covid but decided not to bother when that hit.

overthethamesfromyou · 14/10/2021 18:36

I've still got the friends I met when my kids were at school. We go walking, pub lunches, cinema etc. I do work part time, so I just make sure I book up at least one thing a week so I don't lose contact

Ragwort · 14/10/2021 18:42

I suggest concentrating on hobbies and interests you enjoy and you will meet like minded folk ..... ,don't worry about the 'age' too much, I am early 60s but have friends of all ages, some a lot older, some a lot younger. But you do need to get out and about .. I made friends with a census collector this year, we got chatting and it turned out we went to the same school despite both having moved a long way. Grin. I really recommend the WI as well.

Focalpoint · 14/10/2021 19:24

Golf!

SparklingLime · 14/10/2021 20:01

@Finfintytint

I relocated to a town a few hundred miles away from my friends and family. I had retired but found a temporary job and there is suddenly instant access to new friends. The type of job means we were all retired, 50/ 60 plus and happy to socialise with coffees, drinks, sports, etc.
Can I ask what sort of job, @Finfintytint?
Finfintytint · 14/10/2021 20:09

It’s a temporary Covid related job that started this March and will go on until next March. We are all ex Police, Fire, Prison, Social Services, Teachers etc. We’re Mobile Covid Testers. Great bunch of people. Instant like minded pals.

DameMaureen · 14/10/2021 20:16

@Sakurami

Also if you are interested, join environmental groups - lots of lovely interesting friendly people and there is always lots going on
You can be out every morning gluing your hand to the M25 . 😂😂😂 Sorry I couldn't resist .
SparklingLime · 14/10/2021 20:30

Ah, thanks, @Finfintytint. Sounds great!

MalcolmTuckersBollockingface · 14/10/2021 21:39

@WaterAndTheWild

I was just wondering how people in their 40s make friends!

I'm 44 and have done the usual volunteering and classes - most people are 10-20 years older. I've met some lovely people but no one to really hang out with.. Meetup in my area seems mostly to do with networking - I think I need something more. . . friendly?

The school gate doesn't really work for me either - I can't relax around them for some reason.. I'd love to meet people at the pub but I wasn't sure if women did that?! It heartening to hear they do..

I’ve had a similar experience and would love to know too. I don’t live in the friendliest of areas, mind you. Everyone seems to have known each other since childhood (I’m new to the area).
Cakecrumbsinmybra · 14/10/2021 21:40

Take up tennis? Loads of middle aged women play, I've met lots!

crackofdoom · 15/10/2021 12:30

DameMaureen you may jest, but if you look at the demographic of the majority of those people out glued to the M25….sometimes the photos show a whole row of grey haired heads 😆

TheMagiciansNiece · 15/10/2021 12:36

I would second volunteering, but try to pick an area where there are some like-minded people. I volunteer at my local library and have made some very good friends there (I'm mid 50s)

BlueSlate · 15/10/2021 13:11

It depends what interests you

I'm mid 40s.

I play in a gigging band (pubs and local fesitivals) and I'm the youngest by about 10 years. Everyone has more time for it now the children are older.

My youngest female friend is 35 and my eldest is 64. I've met them mainly through a community choir, swing dance classes and the local live music pub scene.

I did recently go to a women's social group from meetup. They seemed like lovely people but I realised I don't have the time for it!

The women I've met in choir, at gigs, in the pub and at dance lessons have all been in their 50s.

I started doing all of those things alone because I had no one to go with. Perfect really.

Washeduponthebeach · 15/10/2021 17:25

@BlueSlate

It depends what interests you

I'm mid 40s.

I play in a gigging band (pubs and local fesitivals) and I'm the youngest by about 10 years. Everyone has more time for it now the children are older.

My youngest female friend is 35 and my eldest is 64. I've met them mainly through a community choir, swing dance classes and the local live music pub scene.

I did recently go to a women's social group from meetup. They seemed like lovely people but I realised I don't have the time for it!

The women I've met in choir, at gigs, in the pub and at dance lessons have all been in their 50s.

I started doing all of those things alone because I had no one to go with. Perfect really.

You sound like a lot of fun!
BlueSlate · 15/10/2021 18:04

You sound like a lot of fun!

Not as much fun as the 50somethings - I've still got a teenager at home and theirs are all older and independent 😉

TheOrigRights · 15/10/2021 18:48

I'm 51 and my social life involves the people it has done for many years.
Book club, running club, sports classes etc.

I have good friends made though my children.

My point is that I don't think anyone in my social network is doing anything different at 50/55 than they were at 40. I also have lots of younger friends as my younger son is 12.

Ori3 · 15/10/2021 19:28

Most 55 yr olds are working their asses off

Swipe left for the next trending thread