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Original poster

Where to find friends aged 50-60?

111 replies

OverTheHill50 · 14/10/2021 12:43

OK, they don't have to be exactly 50-60, but I mean my age group (55) and stage of life.

My youngest has gone to uni and DH and I are rattling around. Although we've lived in the same town over 20 years I suddenly feel really lonely and lacking in friends! I've realised how much of our social life revolved around the DC's school and events/ concerts/ other parents etc.
Covid has kiboshed a lot of those friendships/ relationships with hardly anyone socialising over the last 18 months.

I have good friends dotted around up to an hour away, but seeing them always requires advance organisation and planning.

I already do a few hobby things - a music group, book group and an ad hoc walking group, but it seems that most of the people in these are older than me (65+) and although lovely, haven't developed into strong friendships/connections.

Where are all the other 55 year olds? What are they doing?
Are they working and caring for elderly parents with no time for socialising?
I'm not working and sadly lost my remaining parent years ago, so I wonder if perhaps I have more time than others of my age? I don't have any other family except a sibling I don't see much 400 miles away.

OP posts:
Sakurami · 14/10/2021 15:55

How about joining a netball/badminton/hockey type team sport? Or a gym? Dance class? Whatever you enjoy doing that also gets you out of the house and meeting people.

Sakurami · 14/10/2021 15:56

Also if you are interested, join environmental groups - lots of lovely interesting friendly people and there is always lots going on

OldTinHat · 14/10/2021 15:56

Are there any Meetup groups near you? I'm 50 and joined one when I moved to a new area three years ago. The ages range from 30 to 90, I've made wonderful friends around my age and we have lots of fun events that we attend.

TorchFire · 14/10/2021 16:05

A lot of the 50 year olds I know still have children in primary school, and are still in the thick of parenting, juggling work and children etc, and probably have less time for hobbies than you do.

Finfintytint · 14/10/2021 16:05

I relocated to a town a few hundred miles away from my friends and family. I had retired but found a temporary job and there is suddenly instant access to new friends. The type of job means we were all retired, 50/ 60 plus and happy to socialise with coffees, drinks, sports, etc.

MrsPelligrinoPetrichor · 14/10/2021 16:06

Evening / day classes and WI. The WI I got to is a range of ages, I'm 51 and there are older and younger women than me and there are loads of WI clubs - ours has walking, reading, craft, cookery plus the monthly meetings plus days out and events through the year. I've met loads of people and wish I'd done it years ago.

Opaljewel · 14/10/2021 16:19

Try app platook. It is purely for platonic friendships. You can set your area or parameter and age range I think? Good luck!

TeamRick · 14/10/2021 16:19

@Elefant1

Where are all the other 55 year olds? I the case of my friends around that age, in the local pub, that's where I first met them and where we still meet 😁 If you run, what about joining a running group, there will usually be a wide range of ages and abilities.
Me & my 55 year olds friends are usually in the local pub too!

Saturday afternoon is peak time, so that you're not out too late! 🤣

BigSandyBalls2015 · 14/10/2021 16:20

I think the vast majority of mid 50s are still working. There seem to be a lot of jobs about OP, at least where I live (SE), would that be an option?

Opaljewel · 14/10/2021 16:21

I mean patook sorry! I spelt it wrong

litterbird · 14/10/2021 16:24

Firstly you said you worked part time for your DH. I suggest you find a nice little job outside of your DHs company to get to know more people. I live in a village that has a mountain of clubs to attend, it has coffee shops that are looking for staff, my local gym is great to meet new people and they are looking for staff too. I am active in the village theatre group and the social side of it is great. At 53 I started learning the drums, I am 57 now and the amount of new friends I have of all ages through this endeavour is amazing. I can be at several gigs a week if I could as I have connected with so many musicians young and old. Get out there and find stuff to do and you will meet some great people.

yossell · 14/10/2021 16:27

I've found book clubs and film clubs through meetup which have a wide spread of age groups. Though the average is 40, the spread is 25-60+. I've found them pretty welcoming places (I'm 50+).

Washeduponthebeach · 14/10/2021 16:33

I think it’s a difficult stage. Many women are still working full time. Or they have established friendships and family around. I moved three years ago and have joined a couple of groups but members are mostly older. That’s fine , but sometimes I would like to meet people my own age. I should be doing more and joining more things but it seems like such an effort, especially at the moment when most activities have not resumed properly or require mask wearing.

Original poster
OverTheHill50 · 14/10/2021 16:41

I understand the thinking behind 'get a little job' but that's not really what I want to do right now. The small amount of work I do for DH is marketing/PR related and in recent years I've been doing a lot of creative writing which doesn't get me out of the house much (apart from book groups and the odd course!).

At the moment I feel like I'm spending a disproportionate amount of time organising 'one-off' events and inviting people to come to things with me (cinema, theatre, shows, festivals etc) but while they are always happy to come they never organise anything themselves. I just want some friends who will msg saying 'fancy doing x tomorrow?'

OP posts:
Original poster
OverTheHill50 · 14/10/2021 16:46

I should be doing more and joining more things but it seems like such an effort, especially at the moment when most activities have not resumed properly or require mask wearing.

Yes - this exactly. Everything seems more difficult and time-consuming to organise.

OP posts:
EdmontinaDonsAutumnalHues · 14/10/2021 16:56

Aha! Well … Fill the time somehow and look forward to your MA starting next year. After a term you won’t recognise yourself, and there won’t be enough time in the day for all the new and developing conversations with new people.

Will you be studying creative writing or something related to that? (Really curious about which university /institution you’re going to!)

Washeduponthebeach · 14/10/2021 16:59

Also it’s actually really difficult to just’ get a job’ over 50, especially if you haven’t worked for a while or been self employed. I have tried and it’s a thankless task.

Washeduponthebeach · 14/10/2021 17:00

Could you say roughly where you live @OverTheHill50? It might help.

Original poster
OverTheHill50 · 14/10/2021 17:04

@Washeduponthebeach

Also it’s actually really difficult to just’ get a job’ over 50, especially if you haven’t worked for a while or been self employed. I have tried and it’s a thankless task.
Yes, I agree. I left a fairly senior job to care for one of my parents about 6 years ago and I can't imagine getting back in again now, even if I wanted to!
OP posts:
Original poster
OverTheHill50 · 14/10/2021 17:05

@Washeduponthebeach

Could you say roughly where you live *@OverTheHill50*? It might help.
Surrey/Kent borders
OP posts:
stillcrazyafterall · 14/10/2021 17:05

The thing is most 55 year olds are working. I will be working until 67 so that Is the age you expect to find at groups. Voluntary work?

crackofdoom · 14/10/2021 17:05

Extinction Rebellion. Not a joke- that’s where all the old arty lefty intellectuals hang out in these parts. As a bonus, you get to help save the planet too.

rumred · 14/10/2021 17:07

I've met a few really lovely decent people through my dog. Obviously it's a big commitment and there's a lot to consider but it has a range of uses health and friend wise. Or borrow a dog/help with cinnamon Trust or similar.

rumred · 14/10/2021 17:08

Ignore my post if you don't like dogs 😁

WaterAndTheWild · 14/10/2021 17:11

I was just wondering how people in their 40s make friends!

I'm 44 and have done the usual volunteering and classes - most people are 10-20 years older. I've met some lovely people but no one to really hang out with.. Meetup in my area seems mostly to do with networking - I think I need something more. . . friendly?

The school gate doesn't really work for me either - I can't relax around them for some reason.. I'd love to meet people at the pub but I wasn't sure if women did that?! It heartening to hear they do..