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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Dating thread 215 we are over here!!!

955 replies

BelladiMamma · 14/10/2021 07:47

Ok folks new thread, hopefully everyone will find is!!

OP posts:
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Isitreallyme177 · 24/10/2021 09:58

@Shayelle2009 my dentist is private and expensive but he is worth every penny I pay him.

I love Sunday evening messages it is a nice way to end the weekend (and then they have you on their mind on Monday morningGrin).

Sugaspunsista · 24/10/2021 10:24

Hi All... just catching up with the thread. Nothing to report really ..i deleted all apps and im concentrating on my one long distance guy. It's hard but I think we are more aware and in agreement of the relationship status now. I'm determined not to go on apps just for an ego boost...its dishonest and unfair to other people too when my head is already full of someone else.
Good to hear so many happy stories lately!!

WeWantTheFinestWines · 24/10/2021 10:25

belladi your accident (I don't know what happened) sounds horrific and like it will stay with you for a long time. Time away to focus on yourself and recharging for the challenges of OLD and joys of Mr Actor sound perfect!

I haven't deleted or blocked Mr Gardener, but completely written him off. I don't expect to hear from him again, but the opportunities where I live are so dire, and he surprised me with his good looks and our comms had been easy and comfortable until he flaked, so if he ever gets on touch again, I will have a think then.

Re pre-meet sexting, I can't do that at all. I'm happy to get into it with someone I'm seeing but otherwise it's just cringey. I will stop chatting to any iron who wants to go down that road when we haven't even met. Yuk. 😆

Shayelle2009 · 24/10/2021 10:34

@BelladiMamma ❤️❤️❤️❤️
Smooth flight back x

Shayelle2009 · 24/10/2021 10:35

We could maybe do a central London mumsnet drink. Just an idea..

Shayelle2009 · 24/10/2021 10:36

Exactly @Isitreallyme177 i think it’s a perfect time to send/receive a cute little message! 💕

BelladiMamma · 24/10/2021 10:38

@Shayelle2009

We could maybe do a central London mumsnet drink. Just an idea..
Yes I'm up for that ♥️
OP posts:
Shayelle2009 · 24/10/2021 10:54

@BelladiMamma we can do coast one too. But was thinking for a more wider group one? ‘Widen our areas’… 😂😂

northernlight20 · 24/10/2021 11:49

hi everyone, i decided to go back to old, met mr slim, had date zero last night, hes lovely and im cautious due to past experience. when i got home last night, he text asking for a date tomorrow night and we chatted all night last night and its turning sexual, which i dont have a problem with, but its as tho thats all we have talked about since it did turn sexual. im new to dating and wondering if this is normal? or am i reading too much into this? we are going for lunch tomorrow and he says he loves chatting to me and i feel the same.

Dazedandconfused10 · 24/10/2021 12:18

I've got a 2nd date today with my iron from Friday, I'm travelling to his town this time. Should really start getting ready. I think I will cancel one of my dates this week. I'm shattered!

Eesha · 24/10/2021 13:12

@northernlight20 personally I find the sex talk off-putting because you forget about everything else, then are left with nothing post sex. I would try and dial it back a bit. That's me though but there have been loads on here where its stayed all positive!

ToastOnCheese · 24/10/2021 13:19

Hi all, just after some advice really...
I know there is no normal, but what would you all say is "normal" after 3 months of dating? Or what would you say is "right"? I've met someone I really like but I'm worried it's not progressing much...

Isitreallyme177 · 24/10/2021 13:29

I'm kind of the same, to me sex talk that early on means they want one thing. It also makes me uncomfortable so early. But that's just me and I'm very wary after a few dodgy experiences.

OnwardsEverStridingOnwards · 24/10/2021 13:44

@northernlight20 I agree with @Isitreallyme177. I would be weary of sex talk so early on ❤️

Eesha · 24/10/2021 13:53

@ToastOnCheese I don't think there is such thing as normal though. I guess i enjoyed meeting friends at that stage but then I liked the guy a lot. With others I liked less/more casual, I wasn't fussed about the pace.

Fashionistas, what should I wear to my date today? Weather looks decent and I'll be in flats. My legs are good but haven't a clue what to wear (for once!). Thinking brown leather mini skirt and cream cut out top or high necked victoriana smock top in maroon

Stayingstrongish · 24/10/2021 15:02

@eesha that sounds like a stunning combo whichever top you go for!

Languidleopard · 24/10/2021 15:10

@Eesha agree that both those options sound great. I've been adding a few long sleeve tops, scarves and boots to try and transition my numerous maxi skirts from summer to winter. Wish I had the confidence to wear a mini, as I think they look great!

Dancerinthemoonlight · 24/10/2021 15:11

Another zombie popped up today. Mr Dimples from February 2019. I read his message on preview so he doesn't know I have seen it. I will probabaly just delete without officially reading it. He hasn't gotten the message the times I have replied and told him no.
I have a few more matches on the apps and a few new conversations going but I'm just feeling a bit flat. I don't know if it's the combination of being months since I last went on a date and being single for 15 months which is the longest I have been single for since I started dating.
Wondering if I should just go out on a date with someone who seems attractive and can hold a conversation or if I should wait for the potential whos pictures give me the flutters (not sure if that will actually happen now)

dancemom · 24/10/2021 15:30

Advice please! I've been texting a guy for 6 weeks now, he was working away and I've of course, over invested 🙄
We were due to have date zero today but he was out last night for his friends birthday and now he's too hungover / over the limit to drive today. I kind of anticipated this and did reply to his cancellation message saying it's not cool to last minute cancel and he has apologised profusely so I'm not overly bothered. We already had a second date arranged for Tuesday as we had booked tickets for this event in advance. He's messaged saying reschedule to Tuesday but I've said no. I don't want a first date (date zero) at this event as it's not the kind of event where you can chat and it would be weird sitting there with someone I've not actually met before.
Is this unreasonable? Really only leaves tomorrow for a date zero and would mean 2 dates in 2 days? Or that I go to the event with someone else?
He's not responded to my message saying no to Tuesday as yet but he has read it.
Urgh why is dating so hard??

Eesha · 24/10/2021 15:32

@dancemom personally I would bin him and go with someone else. Cancelling last minute would piss me off considerably.

Languidleopard · 24/10/2021 15:40

Just caught up with you all after a crazy week at work. Sounds like you've all been busy 😁

@FireandBrimstone great news that your date went so well & nice to hear your waxing investment paid off 😆

@JustAnother0ldMan I am definitely in the more is more camp with male body hair but you should do what will make you feel most confident about your body. Good luck with Miss Wales!

@WeWantTheFinestWines sorry your fella turned out to be a flake. I agree keeping him on your bench is a good strategy. If he has a lot on at the moment he might reconnect when things quieten down for him. I've been a terrible flake with everyone recently and it's all down to work stresses.

@BelladiMamma hope you had a fabulous break☀️and are feeling rejuvenated. Mr Actor sounds very enticing, well done on sticking to your guns with keeping the other irons on the fire.

@SpringlikeBunk all sounding very positive with Mr Hedgehog so far🤞

As for me, I've been experiencing a period of insomia which has left me looking and feeling like shit. I think it be hormonal and that my hrt dose might need tinkering with. Not nice at all.

Nevertheless Mr Breadcrumbs returned from his break and we arranged to meet yesterday. He had a nice tan 😍 and was therefore even more irresistible than usual.

We had a very nice morning brunching and walking and talking in the park. Then spent the afternoon and evening in bed at his place, which despite me only having had about 2 hours sleep the night before was still very nice 🙂

The situation with my Dd staying over at her Dad's is no closer to resolution which is making me feel sad. Mr Breadcrumbs has said he will work around me and not to worry about it, but I can't help feeling like eventually he's going to get fed up of me doing a Cindarella rushing home from the ball every evening. But it is what it is and I'm working on accepting it rather than feeling down.

StartingAgain6369 · 24/10/2021 15:43

@dancemom, exactly what @Eesha said

Languidleopard · 24/10/2021 16:01

@dancemom Can you go to the Tuesday event with someone else and re-schedule your date zero for next week some time? If you don't connect you don't want to be stuck with him for 2 nights on the trot.

But yes, agree with others that this is rude and he better be pretty fricking amazing when you do meet to compensate!

SpringlikeBunk · 24/10/2021 16:27

MrHedgehog coming over soon (my idea not his Blush)

Not sure what the plan is (on paper a cup of tea) but have been trimming and shaving and have lingerie on

might change my name to HoeBunk tomorrow

Sugaspunsista · 24/10/2021 16:36

@SpringlikeBunk

MrHedgehog coming over soon (my idea not his Blush)

Not sure what the plan is (on paper a cup of tea) but have been trimming and shaving and have lingerie on

might change my name to HoeBunk tomorrow

I totally love this...i very much doubt a cup of tea will be on the agenda