Dating thread 215 we are over here!!!

[BelladiMamma]

Ok folks new thread, hopefully everyone will find is!!

@Isitreallyme177

Hey *@OnwardsEverStridingOnwards* hope you're doing well? How's the course going?

@Shayelle2009 I make myself go because as the poster in the dentists says, you only get one set of teeth. My last one was a freaky tooth and had an extra root.

Thank you. Yeah he should be back today (that's if my 4 days is right 🤣).

@Isitreallyme177 hey! I'm very well, thank you. 🙂 the course is going fine!

Hope you're well too ❤️

Shayelle love the handsome surgeon - I had a very dishy anaesthetist give me an epidural for an emergency c-section with DS2 and was all flustered between contractions! You must be relieved it's all over.

onesmallstep it's great that you were able to have a healthy conversation about your relationship; it bodes well for the future.

dumpee what a nerve saying he misses you... he'll never be right for you. Sorry, it is so painful to go through 💐

Hey @OnwardsEverStridingOnwards 👋

Typical isn't it @WeWantTheFinestWines you don’t meet them when you’re all dressed up in a bar. You meet them when you’re in the worst situation possible. It makes the situation so much more embarrassing. I was clutching a plastic bag tightly the entire time in case I was sick. How seductive! 🙈

@Shayelle2009

Is that it done for now, so you can just relax having got through the worst of the treatment?

@Shayelle2009 how is your tooth now? I love the idea of a handsome Greys Anatomy style surgeon. The consultant who delivered my children was a charming, dreamy sort but I was like swoon when it was all happening!

@Onesmallstep67 I think it's so great that you can both have a mature chat about things and you feel your thoughts are being heard.

Can't remember who said the lack of sex would make them lose interest but I feel a bit the same, if I can't see them for ages, I feel distant and forget.

I have my date this evening and I'm not feeling bothered at all. Bizarre as this sounds, the conversation is very polite and unflirty apart from him saying 'I'm really looking forward to it' so I feel he's disinterested. I'm used to a bit more flirting/charm pre date. As I type that, I know how ridiculous it sounds as I think he's very conscious he doesn't know me and he doesn't want to start off on the wrong foot and offend. Also I'm quite big on grammar etc and it's not brilliant here. I'm half expecting to be ghosted or this to be a dud.

@Eesha It was me that mentioned the lack of sex loses my interest.
I'm still feeling meh about Mr K (due to not seeing him much in 2 weeks) but we have a family wedding today with an overnight hotel stay so I'm hoping by tomorrow I'll be feeling better about things.

I hope your date goes well, its hard when they don't do much flirting but I agree that it is respectful. Hopefully he'll be lovely in person.
I laughed at your grammar comment, I'm the same. I also can't abide text speak in messages, even when I was only looking for casual the guy had to have good messaging otherwise he was out😂

@SortingItOut hope you have fun at the wedding, was it Mr K who wasn't doing the family thing much? Its great things are moving along. I'm the same and just feel forgotten about if I don't have that contact.

Thank god my iron doesn't use 'lol' but his sentences don't seem to flow, a bit robotic. I'm half expecting a note from him later wanting to sell me his lung ie a catfish. I think he's had a few dates where it hasn't worked and he's just being cool about it.

@Eesha It was Mr K's family who I haven't met except his mum, he is fully integrated into my family. Its my brother's wedding today (the one who had the fishing trip 'stag do' that then meant Mr K didn't cone to a party with me).
Although we messsge every day, seeing him is so different and keeps the connection going, I'm really trying to notice my feelings around him since I've started counselling/we had a talk about priorities and it's scary how quickly I go 'meh' when I don't see him.

Is english his first language?
Are you in the market for a lung or any other organ😂

@SortingItOut I think the wedding will be a good test. I'm interested in what your counsellor said about you losing interest so quickly and why? Is it 'out of sight, out of mind'?

Yes, English is his first language in that he was born here and he's fine on the phone despite being Italian. He's just really polite/formal on messaging but I think he's actually being normal as he doesn't know me and doesn't want to overstep any mark. I'm a bit overfriendly myself assuming everyone gets me!

Not that i should be posting tooo much about magnet-man but i can relate to the formal messaging from him. Often his texts (when they aren't flirty) have a more 'serious' tone to them. But for him as his english isn't the best he translates some of what he wants to say. It's funny that many if you get the 'meh' feeling when you don't see/hear from your guys. I'm the opposite as i tend to 'miss' them more. But i'm a fan of the chase!

@Shayelle2009 yep been back a while now. DS is back from his school trip
so back to reality next week. Sort of apprehensive as i know it'll be chaotic and as much as i try to bring routine/structure into our lives i was born scatty so its tough! Well done for surviving the dentist! Awful having work done on your teeth! But best as no one likes a gappy smile!

@Eesha I think the polite and respectful and "I'm really looking forward to it" sounds perfect! I think nowadays we can be very quick to skip straight to flirting etc and it can be a bit meaningless if you've not actually met the person - imo flirting is better and more real when you've actually met the person and felt a human connection. Appreciate everyone's different though! Hope the date goes well.

I think some men are just like that over messages. Mr Cricket is polite and respectful (he is also that in person) and I like it. It made a nice change from the ones who wanted to sext before even meeting or who clumsily flirted with someone they had never met.

As for not seeing them, I've not seen Mr Cricket in 2.5 weeks and I'm itching to see him. So much so I might message him later and see if he is free this week (yes I know that's me 'chasing' and I shouldn't but I want to see that handsome Cricket playing pilot before my birthday🤣).

Hey @Eesha how was it? I hope you had a great time and he was better than you expected. Where did you go in the end?
Oh the surgeon was insanely handsome. I think he was greek, do you remember David Duchovny from the x-files, he kind of looked like him! It was all a bit ungainly though, trying to admire his face through the anxiety! The tooth is gone now so hopefully all done and dusted. I can’t go to the gym today as it said no heavy activities, so won’t get to see Al Pacino. Hopefully next week.

@Naimee87 it’s a struggle getting back into the routine isn’t it especially when you’ve been away.

@Onesmallstep67 how you feeling today? Hope everything is a bit better since you had that chat.

I’m with you @Isitreallyme177 I just can’t do the flirting before I’ve ever met them. It just seems so fake and cringey. Different story once you’ve met them and know there’s a spark!

@Naimee87 what’s going on with you and magnet man? Are you messaging and stuff, are you going to meet up?

@Isitreallyme177 good point, perhaps I've been conditioned to believe flirting in advance is a thing! Definitely ask Mr Cricket if he's free, there's no pressure there and you enjoy spending time together.

@Shayelle2009 I love David Duchovny, always a cool character (apart from in Beethoven). Date is this evening. He's very polite and has made points that he will check in but didn't want to bother me too much. I guess dating etiquette is a minefield really these days. Too much and you get scared off, too little and you think disinterest!

@Eesha We didn't go into it too much as so much other stuff to discuss that day but it boils down to intimacy and feeling connected, the less contact, the less intimacy, the less connection and so I go off him. There is no missing him stage, I'm either in or out.

@Eesha ahh nice… I remember noticing how many men were clearly really jaded by internet dating, it’s definitely not just us who don’t want to get our hopes up is it. You got your outfit sorted?
I’m out with one of my besties in Shoreditch next weekend. Can’t bluddy wait 👯‍♀️🥂

@Eesha I remember Mr Cricket said he didn't message much before meeting as it can create a false sense of things and things can be misconstrued. I thought whoa what do I do, I'm not used to this. So I didn't message at all except to confirm we were still meeting. Apparently, according to my male friend, i took the not messaging too literally 🤦‍♀️😬. As you say such a minefield.

I might message him this evening if he doesn't beat me to it, just in case I got my days wrong and he doesn't get back until today.

@Shayelle2009 oh definitely I get the odd flirty message from Mr Cricket and they always make me grin😁.

@Shayelle2009, I'm feeling good thank you - and to the others who have checked in with me. I had a good day yesterday and a relaxed evening out with my friend, having a few drinks and a gossip. I discovered Espresso martinis- they're a revelation ! Slightly drunk I got the barman to play guess the age and although he was no doubt being extra kind I'll take 41 all day long haha !
Mr V checked in with me via whatsapp several times, sent a pic with his friends and told me he was thinking of me and missing me, and then at 2am that he was safely back at the hotel.
I've been reading the dental updates with interest. On Tuesday I am having to see a surgeon to discuss the removal of one of my eye teeth that never came into position in my teens but appeared in my palate at the start of the year. I'm having to go privately as there could be up to a 2 year wait on the NHS ( having already been in the system for 8 months) Dentures might be a cheaper option

@Onesmallstep67 I love an espresso martini on a night out. As they give you that perfect balance of wrecked, yet alert! The perfect combo! Glad you’re feeling a lot better and Mr V is being attentive and lovely! He obviously really into you, it sounds like you have a great relationship 😊

@Isitreallyme177 Sunday evening texts are lovely to receive aren’t they! I bet he will be pleased to hear from you.

@Onesmallstep67 I went private for the removal. I didn’t want to wait 8 months (!) for NHS and risk it flaring up, over Christmas and when I’m abroad, seeing my dad. I thought just get it out the way now. Pricey but worth it x

Last day here today and looking forward to getting back.

The amazing thing is that whilst I'm not 100% healed from my accident I was able to swim, walk, do yoga etc & feel the pain but not be completely pole axed by it. I am definitely still suffering from PTSD as literally as soon as my back or my neck twinges I'm rerunning everything that I can remember about the accident, it's like I'm looking to find out something which I forgot about it, like the key to the mystery of why the fuck it happened in the first place. And then that triggers all the guilt about selling my horse etc.

Anyway, that's all to say that the holiday has done its job - I'm rested, relaxed and refreshed so that I can come back and face the British winter & plan some more trips eg to see my Dad plus the trip to Scotland I cancelled.

And I'm on tenterhooks about MrActor but unlike the flakes I know that if we never meet we will actually discuss why we are not meeting and that also I have got something out of this short lived but intense thing because it's been totally equal on both sides. At bloody last. It can happen again!!

@Shayelle2009 glad to hear you have a big night out planned next weekend. It might be time to revive the SE get together in Brighton!

@Onesmallstep67 also good to read your updates and yes that whole out of sight out of mind thing is a strange one. What does it mean? Does it matter? Are we looking for our soul mate / someone to 'complete' us who we feel we can't live without ...? We aren't so maybe this is healthy? IDK 🤷🏻‍♀️

@Eesha if there's a text spark I'll flirt all day long before meeting. Hopefully his comms style is just because he's been there done that and he might warm up a bit afterwards ...?

@WeWantTheFinestWines I thought you'd binned MrGardener due to lack of decisiveness and a full portion of apathy?

@SpringlikeBunk who's next on the date zero / one / two roster 😄 ... hope it's all going well still 💜

@OnwardsEverStridingOnwards hope the course is going well!

@Dumpee hope you're feeling better today, or at least well enough to feel like you merit a name change?

@ everyone else hiiiii