Dating thread 215 we are over here!!!

[BelladiMamma]

Ok folks new thread, hopefully everyone will find is!!

@VanGoghsDog 😁😁😁 great roll call

Roll call ... mine are the same as before:

MrActor: taking up loads of headspace and actual time. We have a free flowing ongoing always in touch thing going on that covers politics, food, music, literature, gossip, filth and planning our escape to live off grid. Fuck knows what's really going on other than we both love to chat 🤣. Had 36 hours when there were no messages and I think he cracked first.

MrSardinia: cute as f, does shift work so hard to arrange stuff. Nice level of comms, speak in Italian so that's fun and a nice change

MrItaly: hard to know really. I like him a lot but he's in that awful post divorce zone where he's feeling his way. Not going to lose any sleep over him

MrChef: cute as f, shift work issue. Let's see where this one goes

MrDrummer: cute as f but a bit lost. Gigs at short notice and making up for lost time work wise. Let's see

MissBrazil: definitely going to check in with her when I get back

MrBig: comms started in a promising way but a couple of off 'jokes' made me tell him to improve his sense of humour or we weren't going anywhere ...

3-4 more chats going on but none worth giving a name to. All on Feeld

Just deleted the last of the Bumble crop that were date zero's with no chance of a second one. Blocked all of them because frankly who wants a zombie 🧟‍♀️ you had no spark ⚡️ with?

Roll call
Zero on chats
Meeting with Ms Wales next weekend, which I suspect is a booty call (is that what the cool kids say these days ) ?

@JustAnother0ldMan

Roll call Zero on chats Meeting with Ms Wales next weekend, which I suspect is a booty call (is that what the cool kids say these days ) ?

Who needs a chat when you're off to have a dirty weekend (which is what I still call it 😁🙊)

Go you and msWales 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿

Hope it works out 😊

@JustAnother0ldMan

Roll call Zero on chats Meeting with Ms Wales next weekend, which I suspect is a booty call (is that what the cool kids say these days ) ?

No. They say hook up.

I mean, to me it sounds like something you do to a caravan that needs electricity, but there you go.

Or, "Netflix and chill"! Though that might be a bit five years ago.

Booty call is when they call you at midnight to "come over". Don't bother taking a toothbrush.

@VanGoghsDog
Yep, hook-up is something I would associate with a touring caravan, must be an age thing

Will go with good old fashioned dirty weekend, hopefully 🙏

@Onesmallstep67

Hi I remember your wobble and the discomfort re blending finances. I wonder if this is just him and this laid back ness has contributed to him not being as financially secure. Sorry if I’ve made 2+ 2 =22. I just remember how kind you were to me looking at my hinge photos at the time etc and general advice on dating when widowed.

It can be very frustrating when you’re the one constantly giving and organising, I hope he improves after your chat. X

Weekend roll call:

Am exhausted tbh! Just want to get into a nice routine with exercise and water and decent food I've managed and made myself and getting into some of the fun creative aspects of work.

All seems chuntering along nicely on the dating front, seems to have automatically reduced to MrHedgehog, MrWhatsApp and a chilled out geeky guy who we've spoken on the phone but is a train journey away.

Little bit wary of changing my own schedule too much to suit my suitors - mindful I've got myself into a very good position for moving to the life I want, so it's not about being "caught up in some ambitious guys" lifestyle and schedule.

Don't really believe in the dichotomy between "career woman" and "romantic relationship woman" as it's not that clear-cut, but I don't want to spend too much energy trying to be MrsPilot or MrsProfessorWhoIsLike ChrisWhittyInHisField, etc.

So there's enough romantic interest to keep me interested and interesting (it's like MrHedgehog was very careful not to push for sex but fuck me he knows what he's doing with his hands all ABOVE clothes of course).

But also am not going to hugely change stuff and keep on with my own life which I am lucky to have.

I think at times like this my introversion and ASD really come out - I just feel "peopled out" a bit right now!

My nicish date zero from last week (he did mention he thought I looked great in his message after we met ) has messaged to ask what I'm up to and he has said he's also getting takeaway and wine and Netflix in.

Can "see where this is going" so just won't reply

I have gone a little bit mad and have two dates tomorrow - a coffee date zero with Mr Sci-Fi followed by a meal out with Mr Single Dad a few hours later. I’m thinking about whether I should give up dating and try to do a relationship with Mr Single Dad, but there’s a distance issue and also possibly personality issues long-term, as he is very much a chatty extrovert and I’m an introvert. He has been very patient about me wanting to keep it a casual thing between us and see how it goes, but he’s also said he’d like a relationship. I’m kind of afraid he’d go off me if we tried that though.

@Stayingstrongish

Good luck on your coffee date and dinner

@Stayingstrongish

I have gone a little bit mad and have two dates tomorrow - a coffee date zero with Mr Sci-Fi followed by a meal out with Mr Single Dad a few hours later. I’m thinking about whether I should give up dating and try to do a relationship with Mr Single Dad, but there’s a distance issue and also possibly personality issues long-term, as he is very much a chatty extrovert and I’m an introvert. He has been very patient about me wanting to keep it a casual thing between us and see how it goes, but he’s also said he’d like a relationship. I’m kind of afraid he’d go off me if we tried that though.

Why are you afraid he'll go off you?

Other than that I think that's a splendid and very efficient way to date 😊

@SpringlikeBunk - thanks :)

@BelladiMamma - thank you, I’m learning lots from this thread! I guess I think he’ll go off me because my husband left earlier in the year and said lots of quite cruel things, so I’m in a space where I don’t believe anyone will really like me once they get to know me. It feels safer not to let anyone in too much emotionally rather than risk being hurt again.

My roll call is Mr Italy 3 who I'm meeting on Sunday. He has checked in every day and seems decent but my gut feels like he will ghost me, not sure why I feel that way. Not sure what to wear or even do on a Saturday evening. I've eaten loads of rubbish the last few days and have a belly overhang. Wahhhh.

[quote Stayingstrongish]@SpringlikeBunk - thanks :)

@BelladiMamma - thank you, I’m learning lots from this thread! I guess I think he’ll go off me because my husband left earlier in the year and said lots of quite cruel things, so I’m in a space where I don’t believe anyone will really like me once they get to know me. It feels safer not to let anyone in too much emotionally rather than risk being hurt again.[/quote]
It's early days for dating ... so just go and don't expect anything, make sure it's fun and it's safe and then just take the evening at face value ♥️

Good luck @Eesha

@Eesha

My roll call is Mr Italy 3 who I'm meeting on Sunday. He has checked in every day and seems decent but my gut feels like he will ghost me, not sure why I feel that way. Not sure what to wear or even do on a Saturday evening. I've eaten loads of rubbish the last few days and have a belly overhang. Wahhhh.

You don't have a belly overhang. You just have clothes that weren't made for a real woman with HOT CURVES ♥️🔥♥️

Just on my way home from date zero with iron, and he was lovely. Absolutely lovely. Nearly bailed and so glad I didn't. Still keeping expectations low but also quietly optimistic

@BelladiMamma thank you, that made me smile! Unfortunately two late work nights meant Mcdonalds for the family and I don't look my best! We are out on Sunday evening but what should we do?! I don't know much about bars and would ideally like a coffee shop etc.

@Eesha there's an art house cinema near me that keeps its cafe open while films are showing, if you have something similar? Also you can wear something that lets you feel comfortable despite the MaccyD emergencies.... like some soft knitwear and a skirt ... boots ...

@Dazedandconfused10 that sounds promising! Tell us more!

Sorry am just going to go on an excitable rant ...
I do wish MrActor would have an off day. He's just ridiculously charming and constantly being in touch and has new things to talk to me about. Grrrr 👿
🤣🤣🤣🙈🙈🙈 oh well, he's better than your average casual FWB in terms of chat that's for sure. And the F is most definitely for friends at the moment, we've not got anywhere near the 'FB' only yet. It's been like this for 4 weeks too. He's nothing but unrelentingly interesting, keeps the conversation at a really good intellectual level then drops it into filth. Never, ever asks for photos but acts like he's the luckiest man alive if I even send him a run of the mill selfie. He's definitely single, he's been lonely, he's away from home and missing his kids but he doesn't make it a sob story. We might just be helping each other pass the time and it may only ever exist in a phone from now on, but I'm enjoying this BIG TIME.

He's such a refreshing change from my old FB MrMilitary who was really boring and took himself too seriously & from my other actor, who was an ex of mine but a massive cocklodger and harboured the biggest grudge against the world for not making things happen for him. Even though it was his drug addiction and general shitty attitude that meant his early success fizzled out. ... he was awful company after the first thrill of chatting with someone in lockdown ...

I'm already hoping MrActor and I are going to be BFF when he's probably thinking, this is a great way to spend the time when I'm all alone in the big smoke and busy busy busy. The show is completely sold out so he's also on a high. So I'm seeing a slightly more energised and giddy side of him. Plus his divorce has just been finalised. Oh god. HELP ME TO KEEP THIS IN PERSPECTIVE SOMEONE PLEASE 🤣🤣🤣

@Onesmallstep67 glad you had a good chat with him and aired it, hope he steps up now and you don’t have to feel like that anymore.

@BelladiMamma thanks 💗 you always say lovely things. Good luck with the randoms culling ☺️

@WeWantTheFinestWines are you going to bother with him? He sounds like a total flake I think he’d faff you about a lot.

Good luck on your date @Eesha, nice you’ve got a bit of history there. Just a suggestion but what about somewhere like Cafè Rouge? Just as it has a feel of a coffee shop/bar. Best of both worlds? Don’t worry about having a few cheeky mac d’s, your sparkle will shine through and he will love you 😘💕

Oh @BelladiMamma I know the one you mean, went with my friend the other day just for a drink isn’t it amazing there? James Bond was on and we wanted to go and see it.

Haha that’s so sweet @BelladiMamma… check you out all on the smitten bench 🥰🥰 x

@Shayelle2009

Oh *@BelladiMamma* I know the one you mean, went with my friend the other day just for a drink isn’t it amazing there? James Bond was on and we wanted to go and see it.

Yes it's such a lovely place 🥰 makes me love my home town even more. God loves a tryer!! And my goodness that town may be small but it packs a punch!

Anyway you're not helping, pour a bucket of cold water over me please 🤣

@Onesmallstep67 I hope you had a lovely evening with Mr V.

I feel like your situation is very similar to mine a few weeks ago and as I read your post I could see Mr K and I in the same situation.

The first thing that jumped out at me is the sexual issues and wondered if this was making the situation worse?
The less sex I have with Mr K the less I care about him and our relationship. Sex is important for intimacy and to feel connected so if you're not having sex you feel disconnected.
(I've seen Mr K for 2 evenings in 2 weeks (due to work and other commitments) and right now I couldn't give a monkeys if I never saw him again. Its scary how quickly I feel like this)

The other thing that stands out is that you have lots of time to live your life and see friends, family, do life admin etc whereas Mr V works so has limited time to squeeze everything in and sometimes you go down his list of priorities which cant be helped occasionally. Its a shame the house to yourself for 3 days is going to be wasted but it sounds like he doesn't go away with his friends very often.

Mr V sounds very laid back and you seem like a very proactive person so his pace of life can easily stress you out.
Do you think his lack of plans to go away with you is financial ? You said before he had some money issues and I know you have an income disparity. Is he worried he won't be able to afford it?

Honestly this 2 year mark seems to throw everything out, the men get complacent and the women start noticing niggles.

@BelladiMamma is Mr Actor famous!! I love a good showbiz story. I met Ian Brown somewhere dodgy which could have gone somewhere had he not looked like a corpse.

I'm wrecked after a reasonably early night (midnight) out sans alcohol. How do drinkers do it?!

Thanks @Shayelle2009 @BelladiMamma, I have to think about a date place now. Cafe Rouge sounds a good shout though they might have shut down recently? I'm feeling that mood about it bring 'just another date that goes nowhere'...