Dating thread 215 we are over here!!!

[BelladiMamma]

Ok folks new thread, hopefully everyone will find is!!

@springlikebunk so hard to tell! Maybe he's stopped the daily chats because he wants to see you in person more? How long has it been since your last date?

@StartingAgain33

I'm "in touch" with about four-five guys although I'm not really a big "chatter" and have consciously moved matches away from WhatsApp, move them to texts every few days?

Seriously I was dating quite a lot when full lockdown ended in the summer and it was like "WhatsApp chat overload"

I was deleting photos from my iPhone recently and most of them were general ones (not sexy) I was sending to random contacts I often never ended up meeting?

So I've had a burner phone/controlled chat strategy this time round. Burner phone left at home.

Otherwise the energy needed gets far too much.

I've also stopped instantly replying, and sometimes just send smiley faces back rather than invest time in all these "chats" that might just fizzle out?

Hmmmm @StartingAgain33 - not too sure?

I don't think there's anything nefarious about him, I'm sure he likes me as a person, I just think he's "steered" things towards earlier physical intimacy a bit. The conversation last night was fine but he seemed to avoid/skim over the bigger questions a bit?

(equally I can think "that's not what I want" so detach a bit)

@StartingAgain33
The Penis line was a joke really, ( sorry), my previous GF back in 2018 liked sex a lot and liked a lot of sex so I read she comes 1st back then to help me (and her), out, but when the fun times slow down you still need the emotional connection to fallback on & that’s where I struggle to see the value add ( now I sound like a sales man ).

THE HEDGEHOG HAS OFFERED THRUSDAY OR FRIDAY

@SpringlikeBunk

THE HEDGEHOG HAS OFFERED THRUSDAY OR FRIDAY

Sounds like a line from ‘Allo ‘Allo

“Hello Nighthawk London calling, the Hedgehog has Offered Thursday or Friday”

Really Showing my age now

@JustThisLastLittleBit that sounds exactly what I’d like, and it’s very elusive! I do want that small bit of emotional support.. not someone to ‘fix’ my life but just to talk through decisions with.

@JustAnother0ldMan I think you are being very hard on yourself and what you could bring to the woman you were talking to. She was on line looking to meet someone, looking for that thing that only a partner can bring to her life. Yes, my kids and family love me, I’ve a full and active life, one of those jobs that people think is interesting (but really isn’t!) I totally look like I’ve got it all going on but there is something missing.. and it’s not just a penis! Yes we want sex and fun and the excitement, dinner out, weekends away…but really for many women, ultimately, as so many have mentioned, it’s companionship..

@SpringlikeBunk a burner phone!!! You are a professional!!!

Do I just buy a sim and put it in an old phone? Thing is I'm often not home til llate so would just be texting people at like 11???

Apple has just released a thing where you can have different profiles on one phone. Might make a dating one! But I guess texts would still go through the main profile. Hnmmmmmm.

@StartingAgain33

Seriously it's like a call-girl on shit pay but it does make a difference?

I think the genuine guys will make plans which don't need constant messaging up till the moment?

I got anxiety with MrMilitary as he would frequently send last minute "I'm in town" WhatsApp messages which I couldn't respond to?

(and men are capable of planning in advance when it's something they have to do so I'm trying to cut out the last minute random "I'm bored" social messages)

@StartingAgain33

I got a cheap shit phone and giffgaff do PAYG or a monthly "bundle" which I've needed.

Phone can sit in drawer when I'm out? It gives me social FOMO to a certain extent.

but also if a guy is genuine about meeting we can schedule a phone call in? I was just fed up with my phone blowing up with WhatsApp "chats" that just took loads of energy and attention but went nowhere

Companionship : she had a dog for that.
Love : gets that from her kids
Fun: gets that from her friends
sex; I do have a Penis, (but I understand replacements are available)

I didn't have a dog, or cat, or kids. Friends yes, but I've never been someone with a bunch of giriy friends I do stuff with every weekend. Also, as friends all had kids seeing them meant going to the fucking zoo, so .........

Everyone has explained the sex part.

It's companionship, knowing someone has your back, feeling that if you're sad you can just call that person (there is no person in my life I could call just because I was sad, even if I was very sad I can't think of anyone).

Also to help with decisions (I'm trying to plan a new bathroom, it's tedious, I hate it, I have no-one to bounce ideas off), to treat you now and then, bring tea in bed, sympathise if you're ill, drive you home if you want a drink, go on holiday with, support you through a bereavement, visit your aging parent with you and therefore prevent her harsh comments on how fat you are because even she draws the line at being cruel in front of other people........

And do all that for them too because caring about other people is also fulfilling.

My phone is dual sim so I can have a separate number for dating if I want. I used it when I did matched betting.

Then if you don't want to hear from them you just take that sim out. You might also be able to mute it, not sure. I don't think you can have two Whatsapp profiles on one phone though.

@SpringlikeBunk I can't even imagine a guy suggesting a call. Do you ever suggest it?

I do get into back and forths with people. It's exhausting. No one all day but if you're doing it with two or three it's a lot keeping ontop of convo.

Need to meet these irons asap to eliminate a couple clearly. Thing is i'm quite busy this weekend and need to rest Friday night.

Might line up a few for next week. Maybe do a couple in one night?? Did that before. Efficient as you only get dressed nicely once

@VanGoghsDog

*Companionship : she had a dog for that. Love : gets that from her kids Fun: gets that from her friends sex; I do have a Penis, (but I understand replacements are available)*

I didn't have a dog, or cat, or kids. Friends yes, but I've never been someone with a bunch of giriy friends I do stuff with every weekend. Also, as friends all had kids seeing them meant going to the fucking zoo, so .........

Everyone has explained the sex part.

It's companionship, knowing someone has your back, feeling that if you're sad you can just call that person (there is no person in my life I could call just because I was sad, even if I was very sad I can't think of anyone).

Also to help with decisions (I'm trying to plan a new bathroom, it's tedious, I hate it, I have no-one to bounce ideas off), to treat you now and then, bring tea in bed, sympathise if you're ill, drive you home if you want a drink, go on holiday with, support you through a bereavement, visit your aging parent with you and therefore prevent her harsh comments on how fat you are because even she draws the line at being cruel in front of other people........

And do all that for them too because caring about other people is also fulfilling.

I think you've put it perfectly @VanGoghsDog I was at my parents earlier, talking about draught excluders for my front door(I get such a draft), my Dad said "do you have an electric drill" I said "no", he said "so you want me to come over and fit it for you". That's the sort of thing I miss having a man for. I'm no good at DIY and don't have things like electric drills. I need my bathroom taps replacing, again that will be a job for my Dad.

My dad died last year but to be fair he was shit at DIY anyway and was three hours drive away, so I've never had anyone to do that sort of thing. MrWG is great at DIY and would happily do it but is Never Here! (He has done a few things for me)

MrStone is OK at it I think but I don't want to encourage him.

No previous boyfriend has ever been any good at DIY. Last ex was useless and the one before was a total liability.

@StartingAgain33 I’ve had two guys suggest a call before we first met. In one case we chatted for over an hour, the other one only for about ten mins! But ended up meeting both for a date zero after.

@StartingAgain33

What do people think about a 46 year old man who brings up that he had sex with a 6ft 21 year old in Berlin when he was 40?

We got chatting about Berlin, I said I loved the naked spas, he said it was a 'sexy and authentic city'. I asked him what he meant by that as thought it sounded a bit wanky. Then he said the thing about the 21 year old. I said I couldn't do that as i'd feel like I was shagging a child. He said 'maybe the fact that she was 6ft evened it out' which was presumably a joke but still, but weird for a first chat right?

Almost like he's trying to seem cool? He wants to meet and I'm not sure. He's not particularly attractive but does want kids...and I'm trying to be more open minded.

Sounds like a load of bollocks to be honest

Nice date zero - guy was cool and I think he's on bumble to get more people involved in his activity groups as well (he just said he likes meeting new people and that's the vibe he gives off he is not SEX PEOPLE) so chilled night out there.

No clean clothes for dinner tomorrow, CBA to do a late night load so will assemble what's there in the wardrobe. Lot of date zeros mean I've gone through most of my flirty outfits.

Mr WhatsApp sent about five messages trying to arrange a phone call but we didn't succeed.

My Dad says to me, ‘I don’t know why you feel the way you do, you have a good job’.

SMH!

Hmm cos a job won’t go on holiday with you, go for days out, give you a hug, go for a romantic dinner and cocktails, fulfil your emotional needs. Honestly I despair at times! Don’t know why i bother telling anyone how I feel.
(Apart from this thread!!)

Oh and my Dad’s been happily married for 20+ years.
Never take dating advice from a long-term married person… 🙄

@StartingAgain33 he sounds like a good old fashioned creep… ewww 🤢

@StartingAgain33 I try and do calls myself as you can guage so much with chat and video and really does help us both know if we are wasting our time.

Well it looks like I might have a date this weekend after all. Yet another Italian but I'm pretty sure we crossed paths online years back but nothing more than chat. I'll call him Mr Italy Part 3. Had a long phone chat and he seems a thoroughly decent bloke and went to school right up the road from me. Doesn't come across as barmy in any way, close to his family and gets on amicably with his ex wife. Hurray! Now we just have to have chemistry

I can echo the company aspect being the main desire in finding a partner. Having been a single mum for years it’s having someone there to help with decisions, bounce idea’s off of and support you. Like what some pp’s have said when you’ve had a bad day you can head home knowing someone’ there to listen. I’ve learned the hard way as well that sexual chemistry does not equal a relationship. It can make you feel deeply connected but in time this connection can only last so long and it’s all the other things i mentioned earlier that start to become more of focus. I’ve been in relationships where i’ve been
smothered and they’ve taken over and where i’ve been chasing them confused for days/weeks by their actions and its had a really detrimental effect on my son and our relationship at times. I can honestly say i’m happy with the ways things are for me and my DS right now and don’t want anyone getting involved for a while.
I think it’s quite tough though for men and i realize i’m generalising completely for both men and women but sometimes ‘nice’ men tend not to ‘excite’ as much as those who ‘treat em mean an keep em keen’ well this is the way i seem tick. Trying hard to change my ways however with magnet-man you on the scene complete ‘case in point’ of chasing the exciting ones… (in their trucks)