@SpringlikeBunk
I did hear from a third source that I really hurt my ex-iron MrMilitary when I detached from him for a while (I had genuine reasons) which was a bit unexpected but food for thought
So I'm mindful to improve my own judgement a bit here - younger men aren't all stereotypical "lads" grateful for a clinch with an attractive older woman, they're human beings with feelings too so can't just treat them like pawns in my own dating experience.
MrWG is not younger (I mean, he's obviously younger than some people but is the same age as me, and not young) but is a roughty toughty firefighting ex soldier with pretty crap communication. And yet I've been surprised a few times at things he's said.
For example, early on (well, ish. Back in April) he, er, offered to come round and cook for me, do chores and perform oral sex. I wasn't really sure how to respond, so I didn't.
Anyway, recently I mentioned something he had done since, or not done, and he said he had "bottled it because when I sent that text you didn't respond straight away" (I texted two days later but did not mention the offer at all).
It had never occured to me that he would have had any angst over that.
And just today I said something about him being careful not to annoy me, and he said he would never want to annoy me, why would he do that. And I said well, I know you don't want to, but you do.
And he seemed genuinely upset and asked how, so we got into a bit of a text exchange about that but I think I'll bring it up face to face.
So, same. I need to ensure I'm considering people's feelings.
But without putting myself at risk by always being "kind" or "nice".