OH wants to move on

[Tina7391]

My partner says he wants to put our house (that we bought a year ago) on the market because it hasn't "fixed" us. I had no idea anything had been wrong until this declaration. I'm really angry as the house that was sold to pay a huge deposit was my house. I feel as though I've lost loads due to him not being honest. I asked several times before we moved if he was sure as this was a big commitment. We've been together a long time. He's done this before during stressful periods at the start of our relationship but I would have said we've been solid for several years. I'm just so mad and trying to hold it together as don't want to rile him before the house is sold. How do I deal with my anger? Help

Does he want to break up or just sell the house?

I hope you protected your money..?

That sounds really horrible. Did you pay all of the deposit then? Will you get back from this house what you put in proportionally with him or is he suggesting some sort of 50/50 split?

He wants to break up and I didn't protect my money. I'm so stupid 😥

He acknowledges that I put in most of the money and says I'll get my share but hence why I'm scared to rock the boat.

Do you think he deliberately conned you? If so you could report it to police and the bank as a romance scam - you will probably still lose out but reporting him could get a marker loaded against his name to prevent him from ever getting credit / applying for some jobs.

Could you quickly speak to a solicitor and find out what your rights are? I'm sure they will be able to prove the money trail leads back to your house sale but personally I would speak to a solicitor ASAP.

We've been together 13 years so I hope not 😥

I think you can try and keep it amicable but best to get your ducks in a row just in case

That's my next step. I actually hate him at the moment. He's swanning around as though nothing is wrong.

Can you afford to buy him out and stay in the house alone? Have you got an acknowledgement from him in writing (even just by text) that you put in most of the money?

Tbh I’d be going to see a solicitor quick smart with bank statements and stuff that proves you paid in significantly more than him and seeking advice.

I should say that I lived in my last house for over 20 years and he lived with me for half so I do acknowledge that he's due something.

I'm just trying to stay out of his way as much as possible.

I agree about going to the solicitor's asap. I wouldn't trust him an inch but have to say I wouldn't let him know that until the money was sorted out. What he's done is outrageous.

I can prove I put in most of the money but there's nothing written down legally. I could afford to stay in this house (he couldn't) but I could not afford to buy him out. I would have been mortgage free in my last house by now too

Get some kind of agreement in writing about you getting your money back now, whilst he's being amicable.

Get legal advice and something signed so you get your deposit back. I would not acknowledge that he is owed anything except half the equity of the new house if there is anything.

You can then look at another house with your deposit.

Get legal advise as others have said, Even contact citizens advise as here in Ireland they have free legal clinics. Take it from there. He is acting like a dick and you are right to be mad and no he does not deserve half as it was your house. Did you suspect things were going wrong or do you think there is someone else in his life. Are there children involved. You will get through this but do not let him walk over you. Sorry to hear he is putting you through this.

You’re not married so I’d echo the advice to see a solicitor. Get as much documentation about the house purchase and your contribution to the deposit as you can - paper bank statement (can be ordered online), emails etc. Anything in writing from your soon to be ex about the amount he contributed to the deposit. Fingers crossed for you.

To be clear, you're not married and you don't have children together?

Do get professional legal advice, it's well worth paying for. You've been together a good length of time, but it does sound like he has form for leading you up the garden path.

No children and not married. I really just want him to leave but I don't think he has anywhere to go. He said there is no one else. He has spent a few days working away during the week lately but he spent half the time phoning me!

I would seek urgent legal advice tomorrow re the house deposit. I'd also act swiftly re the separation, so it whilst he's feeling guilty so you can at least try and salvage your financial situation. As for the relationship, I don't think I could forgive this, maybe it's time you moved on

I do hope this hasn't been his end game all along, but a house together with your money so he can claim half of it

I highly suspect another woman is in the picture.

Just googled it and it looks like because you didn't take any steps to protect your money, he's entitled to half. But yes, speak to an actual solicitor to find out properly.

Sounds like he's played you. I'm sorry if that's the case. Always seek legal advice before entering into anything financial with anyone. It's a very expensive lesson to learn.

When you bought the property, were you Beneficial Joint Tenants or were you Tenants in Common? If you were Tenants in Common then it looks like you're protected.

Here is some info on Shelter's website:
england.shelter.org.uk/professional_resources/legal/relationship_breakdown/housing_rights_of_cohabiting_joint_homeowners/cohabiting_couples_joint_ownership

Did you really not have any kind of conversation about what would happen if you split up back when you were first talking about buying a property together?