OH wants to move on

[Tina7391]

My partner says he wants to put our house (that we bought a year ago) on the market because it hasn't "fixed" us. I had no idea anything had been wrong until this declaration. I'm really angry as the house that was sold to pay a huge deposit was my house. I feel as though I've lost loads due to him not being honest. I asked several times before we moved if he was sure as this was a big commitment. We've been together a long time. He's done this before during stressful periods at the start of our relationship but I would have said we've been solid for several years. I'm just so mad and trying to hold it together as don't want to rile him before the house is sold. How do I deal with my anger? Help

Hope you're ok OP, have you managed to book in to see a solicitor yet?
Has he expained to you yet what he thought needed 'fixing'?

Also I second another PP. If he is genuinely being amicable about knowing you put in the majority of the money. Get him to sign something along those lines now, confirming that you put in X amount etc etc. Tell him your solicitor needs it for the house sale or something. If he refuses, unfortunately you know what is going to lie ahead and you can at least get a bit more prepared for the fight that is coming.

I would get that acknowledgement in writing that you put in more so should get more out NOW, while he is still feeling guilty
You have really put yourself in a vulnerable position financially not ring fencing your deposit.
I would be as nice as pie, while simultaneously being outwardly devastated (guilt) until you do
Time to play smart here.

I read it as OP had a house that was hers alone, sold it and used the proceeds on a house they bought together.

The biochemical "in-love" lunacy that wreaks with havoc with rational thinking is truly frightening. In theory it could happen to any of us.

I'm not sure if he planned it for the entirety of your 13 year relationship (that would be a very long game indeed) but he probably saw an opportunity at some point.

OP, I'm so sorry, you must be devastated.

Please keep posting, keep talking and look after yourself x You're going to be okay xxx

The link posted by @Gettingthereslowly2020 is very useful indeed:
england.shelter.org.uk/professional_resources/legal/relationship_breakdown/housing_rights_of_cohabiting_joint_homeowners/cohabiting_couples_joint_ownership#title-1

Look at the section on Beneficial Joint Tenants. As a starting point, it is presumed that a jointly purchased home is owned by each partner in equal shares. But that is a rebuttable presumption. It is open to you to show that a different arrangement was intended. Definitely get legal advice on this. I think you have a decent chance of showing that the proceeds should be split differently, especially if his financial contribution to your old house was very limited.

There was no deed set up. The lawyer just used my house equity as the deposit so I'm assuming he would be entitled to half since both names are on the new mortgage.

OP,

Be very clear in your dealings with your solicitor that ye had a VERBAL agreement that your previous property was footing the bill for the new property.

I presume you have clear banking documents that payment for the original property was paid into your sole account?

You need to assert this clearly.

A verbal agreement of course isn't anywhere as strong as a legal agreement but still keep saying it was verbally agreed.

I don't particularly think he waited 13 years to do this, but he certainly has now completely screwed you over.

How much is he entitled to?

And on what basis?

Not on the basis that he paid rent to you of 400 a month?

Rent is rent.

The house is yours.

Exactly how much did he pay in HARD CASH towards the new property?

You both remove exactly how much you paid into the new house, and split the difference.

Anything else, he is trying to screw you and you need to treat it as such.

@Tina7391

There was no deed set up. The lawyer just used my house equity as the deposit so I'm assuming he would be entitled to half since both names are on the new mortgage.

What percentage of the house equity was your property?

I'm so sorry he played you. What a dick.

Legal advice. You can fight this.

£300000 house and I put down £120000. I kept some to do the house up.

He paid no hard cash.bit was all mine. I earn significantly more than hum too so I'm the reason he could afford this house in the first place. I look bed my old house. Friends with my neighbours. Felt safe. He'd been saying for years that it always felt like my house, not ours

@Tina7391

£300000 house and I put down £120000. I kept some to do the house up.

omg

@Tina7391

He paid no hard cash.bit was all mine. I earn significantly more than hum too so I'm the reason he could afford this house in the first place. I look bed my old house. Friends with my neighbours. Felt safe. He'd been saying for years that it always felt like my house, not ours

So he's paid nothing in and now wants to sell up and get half??

The worse thing is that I deal with money. I keep a tight ship with my own finances. I feel so stupid. Only good thing is that I have financial records back to when I met him!

No fucking chance!!! You need decent legal advice, don't let this cocklodger walk away with anything.

@userxx

No fucking chance!!! You need decent legal advice, don't let this cocklodger walk away with anything.

THIS!!

get the best legal you can afford ... please do not let him away with this!!

the fact you have all your records is amazing!! so yes you have proof !!!

go get a SHL

See if you can get him to admit in writing that there was an agreement that you put in the deposit so are entitled to more.

This could turn bitter especially if one or both move on with new partners before the house is sold.

FGS get a solicitor. You're not married and it doesn't sound like he's really put any money into this. Ask him how he thinks it should be money wise - how much does he think he's entitled to? Of course he's not entitled to anything IMO but it'll let you know where his head is at - and then fight to get everything.

Any Lawyer worth their salt should see pretty quickly what He has done/trying to do...

Don't get upset OP, get angry and get on to a solicitor to protect your assets. He paid you 400 per month (apart from when you were supporting him for years) for what? Did that include bills, food, TV licence etc? I bet it didn't. I think he's played you so prepare to fight dirty.

If you're not married I don't think he has the legal right to claim anything he hasn't contributed to. You don't have children either, so no adjustments needed to take account of them.

You say you've kept good financial records so you shouldn't have any difficulty proving what money is yours. He will need to prove what he's contributed.

Normally on this forum it's the other way round: women move in with a male partner in his home, make a contribution to household finances over the years and are then surprised to find that down the line they're not due a penny.

@QueenBee52

Any Lawyer worth their salt should see pretty quickly what He has done/trying to do...

This!

I see he paid £400 a month: if he hadn't done that he'd have had to pay considerably more for rent or a mortgage on his own property.

It is not going to be a straight 50/50 split. Solicitors advice needed. That is what they are for.

He absolutely planned this and there is someone else he is seeing.